Gathering Darkness
Page 85“Yes.”
The single word pleased her greatly. “For how long?”
A shadow crossed his face. “Here in this room, alone with me?”
She nodded.
“If it were up to me, I’d never want you to leave,” he whispered. “Ever.”
She smiled up at him. His words were a salve for her invisible wounds, healing her and renewing her joy and hope.
“Good,” she whispered.
There was confusion and pain in his gaze, so much suffering that she wanted to ease. But alongside the suffering she also saw something deeper and endless, and directed only toward her.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked, his voice hushed as she pulled off his shirt, letting it drop to the floor. “You were so upset a moment ago; I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for.”
“I’m sure,” she told him, more confident now than she’d ever been about anything. “And I am ready.”
“You’re so young . . .”
She thought he might hesitate again, give her a look of doubt, or try to argue some more. But his silver eyes just filled with bottomless desire as he cupped her face between his hands.
“As you wish, princess.”
When he kissed her this time, there was no restraint. Just as the skies had opened up at her command and brought a storm down onto temperate Auranos, this kiss created a portal into a deeper, more beautifully chaotic corner of her soul.
At her command, Alexius was hers . . . both body and soul.
• • •
She couldn’t lie about this, not even to herself. She’d imagined being with Alexius before, but her imagination hadn’t done him any justice at all.
Her mother had often warned her about what it would be like to share flesh for the first time. She’d warned of the horrible things men liked to take from girls with or without their permission. How one’s chastity had to be protected at all costs—most especially the chastity of a princess.
What a tall heap of lies those warnings had been. Love made all the difference—it always did. There was nothing foul or wrong about what she and Alexius shared.
Being with him fully, here, now, in his tiny room, on this small cot with his beautiful golden body covering hers . . . it had been perfection.
A pleasant shiver raced through her as he traced a slow line over her bare shoulder. She lay very close to him, with her hand pressed against his chest. His touch made it impossible to concentrate.
“And where would we go?” she asked, moving even closer to nuzzle his neck, sliding her lips along the column of his throat.
“Anywhere you want.”
Alexius offered such incredible possibilities, an endless and exciting selection of them. “My father would go mad if I ran away from home.”
“I have no doubt he would.”
“Then again, he’d also go mad if he knew I was here with you now, like this.”
His hand settled at the curve of her waist. “His head might explode, actually.”
She smiled at the very idea of it. “Cleo was nearly banished for making a similar choice, although she blames her loss of chastity on too much wine. I have no such excuse, do I?”
He stroked her long dark hair, twisting a thick lock around his fingers and studying it as if it fascinated him. But then he frowned and his gaze locked with hers again. “Do you have regrets?”
She pulled him closer, kissing him again. “I only regret that we waited so long. You’ve been here for nearly two weeks. So much wasted time.”
He groaned low in his throat. “You are dangerous, princess. But it has little to do with your magic.”
A bronze lock of hair fell across his forehead. “I should remind you that I am mortal now. I can be murdered by angry kings who find their innocent daughters in bed with their tutors.”
Lucia raised an eyebrow, her grin widening. “We have to make sure he never finds out.”
Alexius pushed her onto her back, holding her arms out to either side of her. “Marry me.”
Her breath caught in her chest. “What?”
“You heard me. If we ran away and got married, the king wouldn’t have much to say other than congratulations.”
He had no idea what—and how much—he was asking of her, especially when considering how it would affect her family. “My father might still kill you.”
“It’s a chance I’m willing to take.” He grinned at her stunned expression. “What? You said you loved me. You’ve just shared yourself with me in the most intimate way possible, wholeheartedly and without regrets.”
She shook her head before he could take her look of trepidation the wrong way. “You’re right. I love you—I do. I’m just . . . There’s so much going on right now. . . .” Her head swam with all of her troubles, all of her doubts. “I can’t forget about what happened with Cleo. I—I’m better now, I am. I know I overreacted.” A shadow fell over her as he touched her cheek, tracing the line down to her chin. “But I still don’t trust any of them. I know they want to use me. They’ll never let me go.”