From Ashes

“Gage—” I moaned, and arched against his hand.

“The fuck did you just call me?”

My eyes shot open to find a pair of dark brown eyes looking down at me instead of green, his mouth in a straight line as his jaw ticked under the pressure.

“Ty—” I tried not to panic over the possibility that I had said his cousin’s name while we were kissing. Oh God, if the kissing was real, was the rest? I took a moment and almost sighed in relief when I noted one of Tyler’s hands was in my hair while the other was under my back, holding me closer to him. My shirt was on and the comforter was up to my waist and keeping an extra layer between us.

“What. Did. You. Call me.”

“I—I don’t know.”

His eyes went flat as he pushed himself off me and the bed. Last night came rushing back to me and I prayed the morning wouldn’t start off the same. He started to walk quickly out of my room, and I fought with the covers and comforter to run after him but he’d already thrown on his jacket and was walking out the door by the time I made it to my bedroom door.

“Shit.” I ran back to my nightstand, grabbed my phone, and called him, but it went straight to voice mail. Hoping it was a fluke, I waited a few minutes and tried again with the same result. I left a message begging him to call me and come back.

Two hours passed without a word from him, and I finally called Jackie, flipping out. “I’ll be right over!” she promised.

“Jackie—I need to go find him!”

“Um, no! No, you do not! I’ll be right over and we’re going to talk about this.”

We said our good-byes and I dressed for the freezing weather in case she decided to help me go looking for him. She showed up with two coffees and muffins, told me I better get comfy again because we weren’t going after him, and plopped down at the dining room table.

“Okay, spill.”

“What? I already told you everything.”

“Not really, you told me you called him Gage and he got pissed and took off. How did this even start though, is Gage back?” Obviously Tyler had known about my feelings for Gage, but Jackie was the only one who knew the extent of them.

I got up and walked to the breakfast bar, grabbed the paper, and gave it to Jackie as I went to sit back down. “He must be. I found this note from Ty saying he was going out to breakfast with him. He must have written it before coming to say good-bye to me . . . and, well, I’d been having a dream about Gage—”

“Dream? What kind of dream?”

I raised my eyebrows and just continued to stare at her.

“That kind, huh?”

“Well, we weren’t actually doing anything yet, but I kind of moaned his name and all of a sudden it’s Tyler’s voice and he was asking me what I’d just called him. I tried not to freak out, but the way Ty was looking at me, I knew I had actually said Gage’s name out loud.”

“What was Tyler doing? Had he been doing what Gage was in your dream?”

Thank God she got it. “No, but I was worried he had been! I’m guessing he just came to kiss me and I responded because of the dream, and . . . shit, Jackie, I didn’t even tell you about last night!” I quickly told her everything about last night and waited for her to respond.

“And nothing happened between you and Ty while you were alone these last three weeks?”

“No, nothing beyond kissing. I mean there were a few times when the kisses started getting to be too much while we were on one of our beds, but I always stopped it before it went farther than that. And his parents came for a week and a half, so thank God that always kept it pretty clean. But last night was definitely the farthest he’s ever tried to push it.”

“Has he been trying a lot?”

I nodded and rolled my eyes. “And he’s always getting mad about it too. Like actually yelling at me because I won’t sleep with him; last night wasn’t the first time it ended badly.”

“Whoa.” Jackie put both hands up, palms facing me, before letting them slap down on the table. “What?! He doesn’t hurt you, does he, Cassi?”

“No! Tyler would never touch me that way.” I didn’t know how to assure Jackie of that since she knew nothing about my life before Texas, but I knew Tyler would never hit me. “No, he just gets mad is all.”

She was still looking at me, a little unsure. “If he ever hurts you, you let me know. I’ll kick his ass.”

“And how are you going to do that?”

“I have my secrets.”

“Uh-huh. I’m sure you do.” Actually, I didn’t doubt it. She was one fierce little Asian. Ethan called her his little firecracker, and it fit her perfectly. She was tiny but came with more energy than anyone I knew and threw it into her emotions; whether it was happiness or anger, love or depression, she exuded it. And Jackie angry was pretty terrifying, if I say so myself.

“I’m serious. If he ever touches you, tell me.”

“Jackie, I swear to you. He wouldn’t. But he yells, saying that he’s waited long enough, and wants to know if it’s still because of Gage. He didn’t ask that last night, but with last night and then this morning, I know I’ve hurt him, Jackie. Maybe I should just do what he wants.”

“Cass, no, this is a big deal. Don’t just sleep with Tyler because it’s what he wants and he acts like a child when he doesn’t get his way. No one should ever push you into something like that, Cassi, and it’s not like you’re teasing him with it. We’ve all seen you two together, and I know you’re honest with him about not being ready. You’re really subdued when it comes to any type of affection with him; he’s the one always pressing the issue, even in public. Besides, he knows about your feelings for Gage, you didn’t ever try to hide that from him. Maybe y’all should take a break.”

“I know, I’ve thought about that too, I just—I’m afraid of losing Tyler in my life. He’s my best friend; I don’t know how I’d be able to deal without him there.”

“With how close y’all were before you moved here, I can’t see you losing that kind of friendship if this didn’t work out.”

I decided against telling her that Tyler had said it was all or nothing between us. I worried my bottom lip and glanced down at my phone, only to confirm what I already knew: he still hadn’t called or returned any of my texts.

Jackie left five hours later and I tried to occupy my mind with reality TV to pass the time. I hated having Tyler mad at me, and it was making me sick that I still hadn’t heard from him. I could have called Gage to find out if Tyler was still with him, but I didn’t know if Tyler would have told him what happened, and if he hadn’t, I didn’t want to be the one to do it.

After a few shows and a movie, I tried to call Tyler one last time before peeling off my clothes to take a long, hot shower, hoping the water would relax my still-tense body. I had just pulled on a pair of sleep pants and tank top and was running a brush through my wet hair when I heard a key in the lock. I ran out of the bathroom just in time to see Tyler stumble in with a tall redhead attached to his face. He shut the door and pushed her up against it, grabbing behind her thighs and lifting her so she could wrap her legs around his waist.

“Tyler?” I choked out, and he turned their bodies so he could see me.

“Oh, hey!” His eyes were glazed and though his speech wasn’t slurred, it was slower, and I knew he’d been drinking. “Cara, this is my sister Cassi. Cassi, this is Cara, she’s in a couple classes with me.”

Sister? Sister?! I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I just sat there watching as he walked them back to his room. Seconds later he walked back out and grabbed a couple beers from the fridge before turning to me.

“Sorry, did you want to say something?”

“Tyler, wh-what are you doing?” My voice was shaky and barely above a whisper.

“Finding someone who will take care of what you won’t,” he sneered, and his eyes narrowed on me. “What do you expect? For me to just wait for you forever? I can’t believe I wasted all that time on you, waiting for you to be ready. I should have just taken it from you.”

“Ty!”

“I have needs that you aren’t filling, Cassidy. Either give me what I want or get out.”

“What? Ty—I—I don’t—”

“Save it, Cass.” He grabbed my hand and led me toward the front door. “I’m so damn tired of being your crutch, find someone else for that.” He shoved me out the door before shutting and locking it.

“Tyler!” I pounded on the door for what must have been five minutes straight and he still never came out.

My teeth were clattering and my body was shaking. It’d been in the low thirties yesterday while I was out grocery shopping, and the sun had been out then. Now the wind was blowing hard and it was pitch-black outside. I couldn’t even begin to fathom what the temperature was. But here I was with wet hair, in socks, thin flannel pants, and an even thinner tank top. No phone. No keys. I didn’t know any of our neighbors, and after getting no answer when I knocked on their doors, I started walking to Gage’s town house. Not even a mile into my already-freezing walk, it started sleeting . . . hard. I could have gone into a store and asked to use the phone, but I didn’t know anyone’s number by heart, and I wasn’t about to ask some stranger for a ride. Hoping to warm myself up, I attempted to jog, but my body was so cold I felt like I was going slower than when I’d been walking.

GAGE

I STOPPED ON the way to my room and turned slowly to look around. I don’t know what I heard but when I didn’t hear it again, I continued on in and shut the door before turning on the TV. Thank God Cassidy had gotten groceries before I’d come back. Even though I’d finished dinner with the guys only a few hours ago I was already starving and about to finish off an entire bag of chips. Another muffled sound from the front of my place had me muting the TV and grabbing my Sig. I crept down the hall and heard a loud thump against the door. Looking out the peephole showed nothing, but I wasn’t stupid enough to leave it at that. Before I could reach the blinds I heard sobs and a soft, melodic voice calling my name.