From Ashes

We’d already added another hall and two rooms to the house when we found out she was pregnant with Jax; this way when the boys were a little older they could have their own rooms, and there was no question my little girl was having her own room. Princesses, ponies . . . shit, I didn’t care. As long as she was happy, she could have her room however she wanted. And now we’d still have a guest room for when Tyler and his wife stayed with us.

He’d stayed with us a lot during the winter and summer breaks while still going to UT, but once he graduated, he moved back to California and met someone almost immediately. She was nice, and more important, Cassidy absolutely adored her. They came to stay with us twice a year for a week or so, and although it was already crazy in our house, we loved it. Right now, Aunt Steph and Uncle Jim were in the main house with the family, and Tyler was wrestling on the ground with Asher and Jax while Cass spoke animatedly with Aria, Tyler’s wife. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I almost laughed out loud remembering the first time Aria and Cassidy had met. Cassidy was big pregnant with Jax, and like she and Tyler always did, they fell into each other’s arms and caught up since it’d been a couple months since they’d seen each other. All the blood had drained from Aria’s face when she saw them together like that, and she had turned seriously confused when Cassidy shrieked and pulled her into a huge hug. I’d made it a point to have a long talk with Aria soon after that, and though she said she understood, we all saw it still took a couple more days of seeing them together before it finally clicked. At least it’d only taken her days, rather than my two years.

Glancing over at the clock on the oven, I scratched Sky behind her ears and straightened to go take a shower before the rest of our friends got there.

Ethan and Adam had been having trouble finding jobs after graduation, and after Dana and Adam found out they would be expecting too just a month after Asher was due, Cassidy had had the idea of offering jobs to Adam and Ethan. Both had accepted right away; Dana and Adam had married and moved closer to the ranch within a month of our offering the job, with Ethan right behind them. Jackie stayed with her family for all of two months before she realized three and a half hours was still too far from Ethan and then she had moved out here too. Ethan and Adam ended up being better than some of our other hired ranch hands, and Dad and I had both been glad for the change with them here. We’d been able to let go three of the slacking hands and hire on only Ethan and Adam. Saved us money, saved us a hell of a headache, and I got to work with my friends.

Dana and Adam ended up having twins and decided to stop there, saying two of the same age was more than enough, and Jackie and Ethan had just found out they were expecting number two about a month or so ago. Cassidy loved having the girls closer to her, and more often than not, all the girls and kids were at our place at the end of the workday.

Our business had more than tripled in the last few years and I’d been able to buy Dad out two weeks before we found out Cass was pregnant with baby number three. He and Mama were happy to be retired. Well, as retired as you can be living on a ranch. He still wakes up at dawn with me to feed everyone, but as for the rest of it, he leaves it up to me.

Basically, life was good. I’d never been happier.

“Hey, everyone,” I called as I reached the living room.

“Dad!”

“Daddy!”

Asher and Jax slammed into my legs and latched on as I kept walking into the room. Tyler was too worn out to get up, so I just slapped his hand as I walked by, kissed Aria on the cheek, then bent to kiss Cassidy long and slow.

Her cheeks were red by the time I pulled back. “Hey, baby,” she said softly, and her whiskey eyes went to mine as my fingertips went to her throat.

Four years later, and I still needed this. And not once in the four years had she ever said a word, but now I knew for sure she knew what I was doing. Asher had always been healthy; even when he was an infant he never really got sick and I could count on one hand how many colds he’d had. I could look at Asher and know without a doubt that my oldest son was fine, but Jax was different.

The doctor had to tell us throughout Cassidy’s entire pregnancy that we had to be prepared to lose the baby because of what was happening, and then with the delivery—God, that delivery almost stopped my heart for good.

Almost as soon as he’d been delivered, the nurses announced Jax’s time of death while the doctor and two other nurses tried to make sure Cassidy pulled through the delivery alive. She’d fainted when something had ruptured and she was losing too much blood way too fast. Those moments had been a hundred times worse than the night she’d been stung. Then all at once, Cassidy’s eyes shot wide open and she gasped loudly, and Jax started screaming from the table where they’d originally been trying to get him to breathe. The room froze for a whole second before everyone flew into action. Both of them ended up being just fine and were released from the hospital and in our home three days later.

Just a few months ago, I snuck out of bed and went into the boys’ room to let my fingertips lightly brush Jax’s throat, then his wrists, as I did every night. Satisfied that my youngest son was fine, I turned to go back to bed, only this time Cassidy was standing in the doorway, with my soft smile on her lips. She nodded and reached for my hand, put it to her throat, and just watched me as I took a deep breath in, then kissed me, and we went back to bed. I thought I was crazy for still needing to feel their heartbeats, but thankfully she accepted it.