From Ashes

My period had been late, and that’s when I’d called the Carsons’ family doctor. He was the one who told me that with stressful events, especially the allergic reaction and what had happened following, it was common to be late or miss a period or two fully. But then I’d started feeling extra tired, I’d had to stop cleaning before I even started because the smell of the cleaning supplies made me want to pass out, and one morning I started crying looking at Sky . . . it was after that round of ridiculousness that I’d called an ob-gyn and made the appointment. When they’d confirmed the pregnancy at the doctor’s, all my lifelong fears of turning into my mother had come rushing back to me, and it’d taken a lot of work to remind myself I was nothing like the woman she was when liquor ran her life.

So now I still thought we were too young, but I was happy too. Beyond happy. I hadn’t been able to stop smiling since I’d gotten home that day, and now I couldn’t wait to see what Gage and his family had to say.

Gage finally draped all of my hair over my right shoulder, and his hand passed over the lettering softly before his left hand shot out and gripped the kitchen counter at the same time as he lowered himself to the floor. Or more like fell, right on his butt.

“Gage?” I spun around and squatted down to look at him. I was afraid he was about to faint, but the color in his face was tan as ever, his green eyes were bright and huge, and his mouth was slightly open. “Babe?” I whispered when he still hadn’t said anything or moved.

He didn’t say anything, but he started to get back up, so I stood and wobbled slightly when he grasped my hips. Looking down, I saw he was on his knees and just staring up at me. I smiled and felt the tears prick at my eyes just before a few fell. I ran my hand through his naturally just-got-out-of-bed hair and about melted into a puddle on the floor when his head went forward, he lifted my jersey, and he pressed his lips gently to my lower stomach. After placing two more soft kisses there, his hands left my hips and trailed gently over my abdomen before he stood up and kissed me fiercely as he lifted me into his arms, wrapped my legs around his waist, and walked us into the bedroom.

When we were both spent, I looked into his green eyes and almost didn’t want to speak. We’d just had the most emotional experience of my life, all without words, and it felt weird to use them now. But I had to hear him say it. “Does this mean you’re happy?”

His dimples took up a good portion of his cheeks. “Yeah, darlin’, I’m happy.”

“You scared me when you wouldn’t say anything for so long, and then I thought you were going to pass out on me.”

“Yeah.” He huffed a laugh. “I, uh, would’ve hit the ground a lot harder if I hadn’t grabbed the counter first. But, Cassidy, I’m so happy; I can’t tell you how happy this makes me.”

I curled into his body and placed my lips against his bare chest. “I’m glad.”

“When we last talked about it though, you hadn’t wanted a family any time soon; I didn’t even know you stopped taking your birth control.”

“Probably because I only stopped taking it about a week and a half ago when I found out I was pregnant.” I smiled against his skin when the stillness of his body gave away his even more confused state. “I guess all the medications they had me on after the sting counteracted the effects of the pill and I got pregnant anyway.”

Gage’s hand slid up and down my back, his light touch leaving goose bumps all over. “I should have thought of that.”

“We both should have, but it’s too late now and I’m not mad that we didn’t.”

He pulled my body up until he could look into my eyes. “You’re really okay with this?”

“I am.” I shrugged and smiled brightly at him. “I wasn’t at first; it really scared me. I started slipping back into my fears, but I reread the letter from my mom, and I thought about all of our conversations since I’ve been back, and the fears just started melting away. It still took a couple days, but I’m really happy now. Seriously, I can’t wait to have your baby.”

His smile was wide and absolutely breathtaking; those dimples that I knew would get the best of me someday were all I could currently look at. “God, I can’t believe we’re gonna have a baby,” he breathed, and leaned back. “And I can’t believe you told Jake of all people.”

I burst out laughing and buried my head into his neck. “He’s the only one who knows and he was sworn to secrecy. I knew it would hurt you if I wasn’t excited about the pregnancy when I told you, and I had a feeling it was going to take a few days or so for me to get there. I sat there thinking of how I wanted to tell you, and I figured I couldn’t just randomly blurt it out after knowing for some time, so I thought of the jersey.”

“It was a good idea, darlin’, I like it. And it’ll be fun with the family too.”

“Do you think they’ll be happy?” I asked, a little anxious. If I thought we were too young, I could only imagine what John and Tessa would think. It would be the same as if Amanda was pregnant.

“Oh hell yeah. Cass, they don’t say much around you because they know how you are about having kids, but when you’re not around, dear Lord, it’s all they ever talk about. Even little Emily wants to know when you’re going to have a baby so she can have someone to play with.”

“Oh, I didn’t know they were trying not to talk about it in front of me. Now I feel bad.”