French and Oriental Love in a Harem
Page 68Kondjé-Gul was shut up in her room; I found her sitting on her bed,
which was disarranged, and the pillows of which seemed to have been
rumpled up in a fit of rage and despair; she appeared like one
stupified, with her gloomy looks, and hands clasping her knees. Her face
and her neck bore the marks of Hadidjé's nails. The kohl from under
her eyes had been smeared on her cheeks, which were smudged all over;
she looked just like a little savage, with however the gracefulness of a
child.
She did not stir when I came in; I walked right up to her, and in the
solemn tone of a judge, said-"Wretched girl, do you know what you have done?"
She remained silent and motionless, fixing her eyes on the carpet.
"After such an act, will you not answer?" I continued.
"Say, why should I love you?" I replied, "when your bad temper and
your jealousy lead you to disobedience, to crime--when you stir up
quarrels and discords among us?"
At these reproaches Kondjé-Gul all at once drew herself up erect before
me, and exclaimed passionately-"Then you do not love me any longer?"
My questions had not reached their mark.
"This is not the time for me to answer you," I said. "I am now asking
you to account for the act which you have just committed."
"Very well! If you love me no more, I want you to confess it, and I will
die! What have I done to you, that you should prefer Hadidjé to me?
Perhaps she is handsomer than I am, is she? If you think me ugly," she
go and cast myself into the lake, and you shall see me no more!"
"But no! I did not say that," I replied, trying to cut short this
diversion.
"Then what are you reproaching me for? Hadidjé loves you better than I
do, perhaps?"
"Neither Hadidjé's sentiments nor mine have anything to do with the
question. I am asking you about your violence, and the wound you have
given her with the dagger!"
"Why did she tell me that you love her better than me?" she answered.
"She told you that?"
"Yes; and pretends that you swore to it. For my part, I do not want to
country die when they are no longer loved. So if you have ceased to love
me, I wish to die! You have told me that I have a heart, a soul, and an
intellect, as they have, and that a woman's love makes her the equal of
her master. Do you mean to tell me, ungrateful man, that I do not love
you? Have I ever been jealous of Zouhra, or of Nazli? Why should this
Hadidjé be everything in your eyes? If you do not want me any more," she
added, in a transport of grief, "say so, then; crop my hair, shave off
my eyebrows, and place me among the servants!"