French and Oriental Love in a Harem

And he began to hum in his bass voice, slightly out of tune, snatches

from the air: "Parigi o cara, noi lasceremo."

We passed a charming evening together, what with conversation, music,

and cards. He won three francs of me at piquet, with a ridiculous

display of triumph. About twelve o'clock I took him to his bedroom. When

he was ready to get into bed, he exclaimed: "Té! I have some securities here which I had forgotten!" And taking a

penknife, he proceeded to cut the stitches of his coat lining, from

which he drew out some papers.

"See!" he said, as he held them out to me, "here are seven hundred

thousand francs' worth of bills on London and Paris. You shall get them

cashed."

"Very well, uncle," I replied. "And what do you want me to do with the

money?"

"Oh, upon my word, that's your affair, my pichoun! You may be sure,

now that you have come into your inheritance, I am not going to be

troubled with such matters!"

"Well, at least advise me about them."

"But, my good fellow, that means that I am still to have all the bother

about them--. After all," he continued, "keep the money if you like--it

will do for my pocket money."

Thereupon he went to bed, I wished him good night, and was about to

leave the room, when he called me back.

"Come here, André! Write, if you please, to the notary and ask him to

come here to-morrow."

"Ah!" I replied, "you're coming round to that at last!"

"I am coming round to nothing whatever!" he exclaimed, in a most decided

tone. "Only I want to know what has become of my camels! As you may

guess, I intended to present them to the Zoological Society. I must have

them found! Good night!"

I should certainly annoy you, my dear Louis, if I were to endeavour to

impress upon you the full significance of the amazing events through

which I have passed during these four months. I don't know of a single

mortal who has experienced more original adventures. The dreadful letter

from the notary, my installation at Férouzat, my uncle's will, the harem

tumbling down upon me from Turkey, the entering into complete

possession of my fortune, and the whole crowned by the return of the

deceased. Certainly you will agree with me that these are incidents

which one does not meet with in everyday life. Nevertheless, if you want

to know my ideas about them, I confess that they seem to me at the

present moment to be nothing but the Necessary and the Contingent of

philosophers, in their simplest application. I would go so far as to

assert that, to a nephew of my uncle, things could not fall so to

happen, for it would show a want of training in the most elementary

principles of logic, to exhibit surprise at such little adventures, when

once Barbassou-Pasha has been introduced on the scene as Prime Cause.

The substratum of my uncle so powerfully influences my destiny, that to

my mind it would seem quite paradoxical to expect the same things ever

to happen to me as to any other man. Cease being astonished, therefore,

at any strange peculiarities in my life, even if they be eccentric

enough to shock a rigidly constituted mind. Like those erratic planets

which deviate occasionally from their course, I move around the

remarkable star called Barbassou-Pasha, and he draws me into his own

eccentric orbit. In spite of a semblance of romantic complications among

the really simple facts which I have related to you, I defy you to

discover in them the slightest grain of inconsistency. They can be

perfectly well accounted for by the most natural causes and the most

ordinary calculations of common sense. Cease your astonishment,

therefore, unless you wish to fall into the lowest rank in my

estimation.