Free Falling
Page 8“Okay, thanks,” I replied, still a little confused. “Did he say which one?” I frowned at the stairs.
She smiled sweetly. “Third door on the left I think. It’s Ricky’s bedroom.”
I smiled and thanked her before waving goodbye to Charlotte and Beth who were just about to leave, and then I headed upstairs to find Luke. I was guessing that he’d either thrown up and needed help to clear up the mess, or he was fine and wanted to start the n**ed private time earlier than planned. I crossed my fingers for the second one and headed to the back of the house, doing my best to weave through the crowd that were dancing like crazy people. I almost fell when someone bumped me in the side as they did their take on the running man move.
I stumbled up the stairs, bumping into people and apologising, trying not to laugh when they shot me glares. I couldn’t help but get excited while thinking about the dirtiness of ha**ng s*x in someone else’s bed while the party raged on downstairs.
Third bedroom on the right Selena had said. I ran my hand along the wall and counted the doors as I went past. When I got to door number three I twisted the handle and literally fell into the room, giggling hysterically as I sat on the floor shaking my head at myself. That was so incredibly graceful!
I heard a little squeal and a grunt, and I flicked my eyes up from the floor quickly, only to see something I had never thought I would see in my life. Luke was butt naked, laying on his back on the bed; a girl was riding him, moaning, with her head tipped back in pleasure. He gripped her h*ps to stop her as I walked in. His face went pale and his mouth dropped open in shock, while the girl - who I now recognised as Sandy - whined and begged him not to stop, desperately tried to grind her h*ps against him again.
I gulped and blinked, unsure if what I was seeing was actually happening. Maybe I’ve drunk so much I’ve passed out and this is a nightmare. Please let me wake up!
“Maisie! It’s not… no… shit!” Luke cried, shaking his head fiercely as he shoved Sandy off of him forcefully, making her squeak and fall onto the bed.
I pushed myself up off of the floor quickly, blinking a couple more times to make sure what I thought I was seeing, was actually happening. Unfortunately it was. I could feel my heart breaking at the betrayal. I loved him so much, and he was screwing another girl while I was downstairs? How could he do that to me? I thought I knew him, I would have bet my life on it that he would have never done this to me, ever.
Her words seemed to echo in my ears. Same time next week…
Had this happened before? Had he cheated on me before? My legs felt weak so I slumped against the wall, using it for support as I gasped for breath. I felt sick. My eyes prickled with tears as everything I thought I knew in life was slowly being washed away like it was nothing. All of our future plans, everything we’d shared, every promise he’d made me, had all been a lie. For so long I’d been on cloud nine with him, blissfully happy, and now I was just free falling, hurtling into oblivion and waiting for the final crash that would kill me. How could I have been so stupid? Of course someone like Luke wouldn’t be satisfied dating a nerd, of course he was off sleeping with other girls, how had I not realised until now?
He rolled over, grabbing his jeans, trying to put one leg in but he kept missing the hole as he swore and grunted, unable to do it. “Maisie, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry! Please, baby, please?” he begged, looking at me with desperation and panic clear across his face.
My heart was beating way too fast in my chest, my ears were ringing, and my whole body started to sweat. I needed to get out of here; I needed to get some fresh air. The room smelt like sex and it was making me feel worse. I’d never felt so hurt, so low, and so worthless in my life.
“Luke, why?” I whispered, looking at his face, trying to work out why I wasn’t enough for him, why I wasn’t good enough for him to just love me and want just me like I did him.
“I’m sorry, Maisie. I don’t know. It just happened! I was in the bathroom and then she just threw herself at me, the next thing I knew I was n**ed on the bed and you walked in. I’m so sorry. I love you so much, so much!” His voice was husky and thick with emotion. He pushed himself up and tried to stand but he swayed on his feet and fell into the edge of the bed as he continued to try and put on his jeans. I’d never seen him so drunk, but that was no excuse for this, there was nothing that could make this situation better.
“And you couldn’t have said no?” I could feel the anger building now. The hurt and betrayal were still there, but rage was taking over as the dominant emotion in my body. “You couldn’t have said no to her? What does she have that I don’t have? What is it about her that you wanted, Luke? Her perfect body and blonde hair? Her slutty clothes and too much make-up?” I growled.
He shook his head fiercely but instead of answering he bent over and grabbed the trashcan from the floor, throwing up into it violently. He groaned and sat on the edge of the bed, throwing up again and again. A wave of compassion washed over me. I never liked to see him ill or hurt; my whole body longed to go over and comfort him, to hold him and beg him not to cheat on me again.
I wanted to tell him I loved him too, because I did, I really loved him, and that was what hurt the most, the fact that I loved him so much. But I couldn’t just forget this ever happened and pretend everything was normal. Luke and I had promised that we would never cheat on each other, ever, and up until about four minutes ago I would have bet my life that he would always keep that promise to me. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
“I need to go home,” I whispered. I couldn’t stay here anymore, I needed to go.
He tried to stand up but he just fell straight back down again. “Maisie, come here. Please, I want to come to you but I can’t. Please? Can you help me with my clothes and then we’ll get a cab to mine,” he begged, stretching out his hand towards me. His other hand was on the side of his head; he was wincing as if he had a headache.
“You just slept with another girl. I’m not going home with you,” I croaked, shaking my head.
His face fell as he squeezed his eyes shut. “Please?” he begged. “I don’t feel right. I… I think someone put something in my drink. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise, I swear. Please, I know you’re hurting, but please forgive me?”
My feet started to move towards him of their own accord, my body was already forgiving him because that was probably the easier thing to do. I wanted to be with him. I wanted the things we’d planned for our lives. I fell down on my knees in front of him, pushing the trashcan out of the way, not looking at the contents and trying to ignore the smell of it. He grabbed my face pulling me closer to him, looking right into my eyes. His whole face was the picture of sorrow and remorse. I looked into his brown eyes that I had stared into for the last nineteen months. His pupils were enormous, he was unquestionably stoned, yet I hadn’t seen him take anything.
“Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt me?” I asked. The tears continued to fall down my face uncontrollably.
He nodded and wiped the tears away, looking like he was in pain. “Maisie, that would kill me if I saw you doing that with another guy.” He pulled me into a hug, stroking the back of my head softly. “Please forgive me?” he whispered.
I pulled back so I could look at him. Immediately he crashed his lips to mine. I kissed him back because it was just a natural response to; kissing Luke was like breathing, something I didn’t even need to think about. When he nibbled on my bottom lip wanting to deepen the kiss, I closed my eyes and the first thought that popped into my head was, I wonder if he kissed Sandy like this…
I jerked away from him and swiped angrily at my mouth. Where was my self-respect? I’d just walked in on him screwing another girl and I was about to forgive him and let it go as if it was nothing? I was a stronger person than that, wasn’t I?
I jumped to my feet and slapped him hard across the face, ignoring how he winced and hissed through his teeth. I grabbed his jeans from his hand and shoved my hand in his pocket, getting his car keys out before throwing his jeans across the room so he would have to get up and get them.
“You’re an asshole, Luke. I can’t believe I let you sucker me in for so long,” I shouted angrily.
He looked at me stunned, his mouth hung open in shock. I turned on my heel and stormed out, slamming the door behind me, ignoring how he screamed my name over and over. Drunk or high, he shouldn’t have cheated on me, I would never do that to him, ever, and I deserved someone who could say the same about me.
I desperately tried to stop crying as I stormed through the house, but I just couldn’t. The hurt that I felt inside was making me feel sick and slightly lightheaded, but the shock had sobered me up a lot. As I staggered across the lounge, I saw Ricky dancing with a girl, so I walked up to him and grabbed his arm, pulling him round to face me.
“Luke’s upstairs, he needs some help. Go sort him out and make sure he gets home. If he asks, tell him I don’t want to speak to him,” I instructed, swiping at my face again, wiping the traitor tears away.