Free Falling

“But you don’t want to be with me,” he whispered. A pained expression crossed his face; it was like devastation, like I’d just taken everything important away from him. I knew I was probably the only person that knew Luke properly. He had no one else really, his family were hardly ever around, and his friends only got to see the showy side of him. I was probably the only one he had ever opened up to. I was probably the only one that knew the real Luke Hannigan. The thought of him being alone if I cut him off, was actually painful to me. I hated the thought of him being sad. I really loved him too much for my own good.

“Maybe we could be friends? See what happens?” I suggested, wanting to take the hopeless and hurt look off of his face. Didn’t everyone deserve a second chance? If I had made that mistake then I knew I would be begging him for another shot, just like he was right now.

His head snapped up, his eyes wide and hopeful. “Really? I’d love that, baby.” He put his hands on my knees, gripping tightly as he pushed himself up so our faces were on the same level. I gulped at his words, the familiar pet name sounded like melted chocolate coming out of his mouth. It shouldn’t make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, it shouldn’t make my heart race in my chest, and it shouldn’t make my stomach flutter. But it did. “I’d love the chance to win you back. As much as you don’t want to admit it, you and I are perfect for each other. You need me just as much as I need you,” he whispered.

My arms acted without my permission and wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to me as I buried my face in the side of his neck, breathing in his smell that made my skin prickle and my stomach flutter. I knew I couldn’t just cut it off with him because my body’s reactions to him were involuntary. He was right, I did need him.

“Let’s just take it slow and be friends,” I repeated, putting emphasis around the word friends. He nodded, pressing his face into my hair as he wrapped his arms around me too, crushing me against his chest. I have no idea how long we stayed like that, unmoving, unspeaking, but it didn’t feel like long enough.

He pulled back and smiled his heart stopping smile. “I’d better go; your brother and dad are probably waiting to jump me outside or something. I can’t deny them the satisfaction of beating me to a pulp again. Your dad hasn’t even taken a swing yet, so I guess I need to allow that to make him feel better,” he said, laughing quietly.

I smiled at that, he was probably right there. “Okay, well I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”

A small frown crossed his face. “Think I could pick you up in the morning? Drive you to school?” he asked hopefully. “As friends of course,” he added the last part quickly.

I gulped; I wasn’t ready for that kind of thing yet. It was hard enough being at school with everyone knowing and gossiping about me and him; I couldn’t show up with him and spark more rumours about us. People would already be wondering why it was that we were being friends; I couldn’t show up with him too.

“I think I should ride with Alex.”

He sighed and nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you at school then.” Before I could protest, he leant in and pressed his lips against mine. The familiar sparks and little bursts of heat rushed through my body because of how perfectly his lips fitted mine. Then it was over. He pulled back and smiled at me sadly before he stood up and stroked his hand down the side of my face. “I’ll wait as long as you need. I love you.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I said nothing. He took that as his cue to leave and walked off; leaving me watching the place that I last saw his body. I touched my lips; I could still feel the ghost of his kiss there. Running my tongue over my bottom lip, I could still taste him.

I forced myself to go downstairs to spend some time with my family. It was obvious they were worried about me. It took longer than I thought to assure my ape of a brother that I wasn’t forgiving Luke too fast, and that we weren’t back together. It took even longer to get him to agree not to shove his fist down Luke’s throat.

I made small talk with my parents about Zach’s tutoring schedule. Finally, after faking that I was okay for another half an hour, I excused myself to bed. As I curled in the sheets I could feel the sadness trying to creep over me again. As soon as I was in the darkness my mind drifted to Luke again. I willed myself to fall asleep quickly, but that didn’t happen. Instead, I cried for another half an hour before drifting into a shallow and uneasy slumber.

Chapter 11

When morning finally came I felt terrible because of barely sleeping. I was on auto-pilot as I dressed and trudged to Alex’s car. As we pulled into the parking lot of the school I spotted Luke sitting on the hood of his car, three spaces down. His friends were all hanging around him, talking, but he seemed a little distracted. When we pulled into the space he sprung away from his car and headed over, a smile stretching across his face. I watched the way his unbuttoned black shirt blew in the light wind, the white T-shirt stuck to his body showing off how sculpted he was from all the football he played. I watched the way the smile showed off his pearly white teeth and strong jaw. I sighed sadly. He still had an effect on my body; I was still incredibly attracted to him. The trouble was I also noticed how the other girls looked at him too. They had always looked, but before I’d been confident in his affections so them looking had never bothered me; I didn’t get jealous because I trusted him. Now though I felt a little sick with jealousy.

Alex said his goodbyes as he eyed up a group of girls who were standing off to one side. He was obviously choosing his weekly target. What with all the excitement yesterday and fighting with Zach, I guess he didn’t get to make a move on many girls.

Luke reached the car just as I closed my door. “Hey, baby,” he greeted. His hand moved to take mine so I shied away slightly which made his face fall. “Sorry,” he muttered, letting his hand drop to his side as he kicked his shoes on the ground.

“Morning,” I replied, trying to ignore the way he looked so sad.

“Morning.”

I laughed uncomfortably, and flicked my eyes around to see that everyone was watching us. Some people were discreetly watching but pretending to do something else, some people looked away quickly as I glanced in their direction, others were outright staring with their mouths open. “Well, this is awkward,” I muttered, chewing on my lip.

Luke smiled at me apologetically. “Shall I walk you in, or…?” he trailed off, looking at me hopefully.

I took a deep breath and forced a smile even though I felt like crying. “Sure. Oh, did you get your assignment done for English?” I asked, trying to change the subject. I was pretty sure he had an essay to hand in today.

He smiled at me gratefully, probably because I was making an effort to be friends. We talked a little awkwardly as he walked me into the building. I kept my hands firmly gripped onto the straps of my schoolbag because his hands were swinging dangerously close to mine. People were watching as we walked past and I tried my best not to see them - well, I tried to pretend like I didn’t see them anyway.

Whispers were starting as we walked down the hallway and all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and cry. I looked up the hallway and frowned. People were crowding near my locker; an excited murmur was rippling through the crowd. What on earth is that about?

Out of nowhere Charlotte grabbed my arm and yanked me to a stop. “Maisie! Oh my God. I’ve reported it to the janitor; they said they’ll get it sorted once everyone goes to class. It’s disgusting. I bet it was the witch that did it,” she hissed, her jaw tightening in anger.

“Huh?” The janitor will get what sorted?

Her eyes widened as her grip on my arm tightened to the point of pain. “You haven’t seen it?”

Luke stepped forward and looked at her curiously. “Seen what, Charlotte?” he asked, rolling his eyes.

Charlotte didn’t reply, just dragged me forward, shoving people out of the way. “Move it or lose it. Come on, people, get out of the way!” she ordered.

I followed behind her helplessly, weaving through the gathered students, wondering what was going on. The crowd parted, people turned to look at me, and the murmur got even more excited as people regarded me with wide eyes, obviously waiting for my reaction to whatever it was. Sandy smirked at me and my hand clenched into a fist as Zach’s words from yesterday echoed in my head, ‘You need to punch that hoe in the face’. I wanted to, I really did, but I forced myself to look away from her taunting smile.

Charlotte stopped and I looked up at whatever was so urgent, only to see that someone had vandalised my locker. One big bold word had been spray painted on the yellow door of it, large red letters, the paint thick and angry looking.

‘Bitch’

“What the heck?” I cried, frowning at it angrily. Why on earth would someone write that on my locker? That’s just stupid because I’m not a bitch at all!

“I know, it’s disgusting!” Charlotte growled, shaking her head angrily. “It should be gone by lunchtime apparently.”

I felt my face flush with embarrassment because everyone was staring at me. I hated to be the centre of attention, and it looked like every gaze in the hallway was locked onto me in that second. Why would someone even write that, who wrote it?

“What the hell is that?”

I turned to see Luke had pushed his way through the crowd and had stopped at my back. His eyes were glued to my locker as his jaw twitched angrily. My mind was whirling, trying to think of someone that would want to write that on my locker. I got along with everyone; I was well liked - just not popular. I guess the popular girls had never really liked me because I was dating the quarterback, but none of them would resent me that much, would they? Maybe Sandy…

In the back of my mind I could hear Luke ranting loudly, asking who did it, if anyone saw anything. He was incredibly angry by the sound of it. My eyes flicked to Sandy again. She was giggling behind her hand, whispering conspiratorially to her friend.