Forever Too Far

BLAIRE

I put Nate down for a nap and decided to take the free time to use the yoga video I’d bought on iTunes. I needed to tighten some things up on my post-baby body. Bethy had told me to try yoga. Finding time to do yoga was another thing. The last time Nate took a nap and I’d tried to do yoga Rush had walked in and we’d ended up naked and on the sofa again. We had become pros at oral sex. Not that Rush needed to get any better but it was safe to say I had learned to give a killer blowjob.

The doorbell rang before the video started so I pressed pause and went to see who it was. Rush wasn’t here so it couldn’t be Grant. They were together. Opening the door I thought as my eyes took in Nan that maybe I should start looking out the peephole first. My heart rate picked up and I cursed myself because I’d left my phone lying on the floor in the game room. There were no pockets in my yoga pants.

“Is Rush here?” she snapped. I mentally cringed. He wasn’t here and I wasn’t sure I should let her inside. But then how could I not let her in? She was Rush’s sister.

“He left with Grant a couple of hours ago. Something to do with Woods.” I was talking too much. That wasn’t her business.

“Are you gonna let me in? Or should I come back later?” The disgusted tone of her voice at the idea that I had the power to not let her inside what was now my house was obvious. I didn’t want to let her in but then Rush would want to see her. He’d just mentioned her a few nights ago. He was wondering how she was and telling me his mother said she was out of the clinic and doing better.

Going against my better judgment I stepped back to let her inside. “Come on in,” I said, hating the idea of being alone with her. My gun was in the car although I really didn’t think I’d need that. She wasn’t that kind of dangerous... I didn’t think.

“So how’s it feel being Mrs. Finlay?” she asked. Her tone indicated that she wasn’t happy about it and that this was not a friendly question.

“Wonderful. I love your brother,” I replied.

“You can’t lie to me. I’m not fooled by the innocent look. You got knocked up so you could snag him. He wasn’t gonna ignore his kid. You figured that out and used it. I just hope the kid’s his.” The hate laced in her words made me wince.

I really wanted to call Rush and get him home. I didn’t want to talk to her. Not if this was going to be a Blaire-bashing conversation.

“I’m sorry you feel that way. When you see Nate you’ll see there is no doubt who he belongs too. He is Rush’s mini-me,” I was mad at myself for taking her bait and defending myself.

At the mention of Nate I could see Nan wince. She either hated the idea that we had a child or she hated that it was also my kid and she didn’t want to feel connected to it. I wasn’t sure. “I’m going to go grab my phone and call Rush to let him know you’re here. Please help yourself to something to drink or eat if you want it. You know where everything is.”

I started for the stairs.

“Wait. I don’t want to see Grant. Tell him not to bring Grant,” she said in a tight voice.

“Okay. I will,” I replied. I was pretty sure Grant didn’t want to see her either but I wasn’t about to let her know I knew all about that. I wasn’t touching that issue.

I hurried up the steps and went to get my phone. I would call Rush then go check on Nate... maybe I could kill all the time alone with her up here hiding. Picking up the phone I dialed Rush’s number.

“Hey baby, everything okay?” he asked when he answered.

“Um... depends on what you consider okay,” I said. “Your sister is here.”

“Turn around man. I need to go home now,” Rush said to Grant. “I’m on my way. Is she okay? Is she being nice? Did you let her in?”

“Yes, not really, and yes,” I replied.

“She’s not being nice. Shit, Blaire. I’m sorry. Why’d you let her in?”

“Well, because Rush, she’s your sister. I wasn’t going to refuse to let your family in your house.”

Rush took a deep breath. I knew what that meant. He was frustrated. “Blaire. If I ever hear you call it my house again I am going to go apeshit. That is our house. Our fucking house. If you don’t want to let someone in then don’t. Call me and they can wait on the damn steps until I can get there. I just want you comfortable in your home.”

“Okay. Well, I let her in because you love her and I love you. How’s that for a reason?”

Rush let out a low chuckle. “Nan is, and will probably forever be, the one person I love who I don’t expect you to be nice to. She needs to earn that shit. She hasn’t. You blow her off, kick her ass out, whatever you want to. Don’t you put up with her mouth spewing bullshit.”

I decided I wouldn’t tell him about her accusation that Nate might not be his. He’d lose it. “Just hurry,” I begged.

“Five minutes away,” he promised.

I hung up and slipped the phone into my sports bra before going to check on Nate. Opening the door, I peeked in to find him kicking and gurgling at the sea creatures hanging from the mobile. Smiling, I walked over and his little eyes shifted until they locked on me. He kicked harder at the sight of me and my heart squeezed.

“That was not a very good nap,” I told him, leaning over to pick him up. “I didn’t even get to do any yoga and mommy’s bottom needs some yoga.”

His little head tried to burrow in my chest. It wasn’t time for him to eat but when he woke up he wanted in my shirt. Just like his dad. Grinning I walked him over to the changing table and put a fresh diaper on him while he fussed. He hated having his diaper changed.

I picked him up and kissed his puckered up lips. The tears stopped and he opened his mouth trying to get something to eat again. “Not now mister. You just ate an hour ago,” I told him before heading out the door.

I didn’t want to take him downstairs. I was afraid of what Nan would say about him. I didn’t think I could deal with it if she was mean to my baby. The front door chimed and I let out a sigh of relief. Rush was home.

“Daddy’s home,” I whispered.

I carried Nate downstairs and listened for Rush and Nan’s voices. It wasn’t hard. She was already raising her voice. Rush must have come in correcting her for making me feel uncomfortable. I decided against taking Nate into the kitchen to hear his dad yelling at Nan. We went out the front door. Nate loved going outside and watching the waves. The sea breeze would drown out all Nan’s angry words.

We walked under the house and out toward the beach.

“Blaire, could you bring Nate up here?” Rush asked me looking down at me from the porch. Apparently, he wanted Nate around Nan. I understood him wanting his sister to meet his kid but she hated the momma so this might not be wise. I paused and looked down at Nate.

The mommy in me wanted to take him and run back upstairs and lock ourselves safely inside his room. But he was Rush’s child too. I pressed a kiss to his temple. “Daddy’s sister Nan isn’t very nice. You’re going to have to learn to overlook her,” I whispered in his ear, more for my sake than his since he had no idea what I was saying.

When I reached the top step Rush was waiting on me. “If you want me to take him and you not go in there I will. But if you want to go in there I swear to you that she will behave or I’ll throw her out of this house.”

I wasn’t about to send my baby to see the big bad wolf and not go with him. If he had to face Nan so did I. I held him tighter to me and shook my head. “I want to be with him.”

Rush nodded. I could see by the look on his face that he understood. He opened the door for us and stepped back so I could walk inside with Nate.

Nan was sitting on a barstool with a pissed off snarl on her face. She spun around and her eyes went to Nate. I could see the moment she realized that each small feature was Rush’s. He didn’t even have my eyes. He was all Rush.

“Guess he is yours after all,” she said. I stopped and took a step back bumping into Rush’s chest. His arm came around me and he held me there.

“You wanted to see him. Be careful what you say to his mother. Apologize for that last stupid ass remark or I’m going to walk you to the door.”

Nan’s eyes flared with fury and I had a feeling Rush had just started something we really didn’t need in our home. But she took a deep breath and lifted her hate filled eyes to me. “I’m sorry,” she snapped. She didn’t mean it but the fact Rush had made her say it was worth it.

“Can I hold him?” Nan asked, lifting her gaze to Rush’s.

I went stiff as a board. If he told her yes I was making a run for it with Nate. There was only so much he could ask of me.

“Probably not a good idea. With you glaring at his momma like that I don’t think she’s gonna feel safe handing him over.”

Nan scowled. “He’s your kid too.”

“He is. But Blaire is his mother. I don’t let anything happen that she isn’t comfortable with.”

“God, Rush where did your balls go?”

“That’s strike two, sis.”

Nan rolled her eyes and stood up from the stool. She looked back at Nate and her eyes softened a little. He was hard not to love. He was as beautiful as his father. “Mom would love to meet him,” Nan said, pulling her purse strap up on her arm. “You should at least send her a photo.”

“Mom didn’t give a shit about her own babies, Nan. You know that. Why would she care about mine?”

Nan didn’t flinch. She only shrugged. “Good point.”

Nate started to fuss in my arms. He was trying to get to the goods again. I shifted him in my arms and Rush reached for him. “Give him to me. He won’t be thinking about milk when I’ve got him.”

I handed Nate to him and he instantly calmed down and stared up at Rush. He was fascinated with his father.

“You’re good with him. I’m not surprised. You’ve been playing dad for as long as I can remember,” Nan said. It was the first nice thing she’d said since she’d gotten here.

“I’m only good at it because I’ve watched Blaire. She’s taught me everything.”

Nan didn’t like that answer and it wasn’t true. He’d been a natural from day one. I started to argue when Nan pushed her stool back scraping it across the floor. “I just wanted to see the kid and let you know I’m doing better. If you want to see me I’m in town for a few days. I’m not up for anymore bonding with your little family here so keep that in mind.”

I watched as she stalked out of the kitchen and down the hall toward the front door without another word. Rush didn’t respond.

“And she’s still a bitch,” Rush muttered.

I turned to look up at him and he was frowning. “I’m sorry that she talked to you like that,” he said.

“I ignore everything she says. She wants me to be the villain and I’m afraid she always will. It’s okay. I didn’t marry her,” I replied.

Nate heard my voice and he moved his head to look at me before he started crying. He wanted me for my boobs. I smiled and reached out to take him. “I’m going to have to feed him again. He must not have gotten full last time. He’s determined to eat again.”

Rush handed him to me. “Lucky little shit.”

I kicked him and he laughed that full belly laugh that I loved.

“You hungry?” he asked.

“Yes. Starving. Can you make me a sandwich?” I asked him before walking to the living room to get comfortable in the recliner.

“Anything for you,” he replied.