Flutter

“Peter never tried to kill me.”

“I was there!” Jack was irritated. “You can’t tell me that didn’t happen.”

“No, it did, but not exactly the way you think. When Peter bit me, he knew you were in the house. You had fought before when you thought he was going to hurt me. He knew you’d never let something happen to me,” I explained quietly. “He was counting on you to rush in and save me, and he thought that you’d be too angry to let him live. Peter wasn’t trying to kill me; he was trying to kill himself.”

“No…” Jack shook his head and his face completely fell. “No. That’s not… Because if he did that, that would mean he…”

Realization flashed across his face, and he looked at everything in a new light. All the things Peter did had seemed cold and cruel were all really for me, and even Jack. Peter had been trying to let me go since the day he met me because he thought I’d be happier without him.

Jack never let himself believe that Peter loved me because he loved Peter. He respected him and never wanted to go against him. Then I came into the picture, and the only way Jack could reconcile his own feelings for me was by assuming Peter could never feel the same way.

Jack truly believed he was the one that was meant to be with me, not Peter, and that made all his actions and behavior okay. But if Peter loved me as much as he did, then Jack suddenly became the villain in his story instead of the hero.

“Jack, you know how much I love you.”

I reached out for him, and he pulled away. He exhaled shakily, so I reached out for his hand again, and this time he let me take it. He wouldn’t look at me, so I moved so I was standing in front of him.

“I really do love you, and this is the right choice. And we didn’t do anything wrong, not really. I mean… I don’t know. What else were we supposed to do?”

“I don’t know,” Jack admitted quietly. He was still looking down so his eyes wouldn’t meet mine, and I touched his cheek.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you like this. I just…” I trailed off. He felt so sad and guilty. I hated to see him this way. “I just wanted you to go easier on Peter. You two should be able to get along.”

“No, you’re right.” He forced a smile at me, but it barely counted as one, so he let it go. “I will try.”

“Why don’t you come inside with me?” I asked. I wanted to stay with him all day, but the sun was really starting to get to me. It was this heavy sort of weakness that just barreled down on me like a wet blanket.

“No, I wanna stay out here just a little bit longer. Matilda’s still having fun,” Jack said. Matilda had actually sprawled out on the patio, basking in the sun for warmth, but I didn’t argue with him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked and wished he would just look at me.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he nodded, but he was lying.

“I love you,” I whispered, hoping that would help somehow.

“I know, and I love you, too.” Without looking at me, he gave me a quick kiss on the forehead, and stepped away from me. He had never kissed me so brusquely before. “Mattie, come on! Where’s your ball?” Matilda jumped up to start searching for it, and Jack went to help her.

I glared up at the sun before going back in the house. If it wasn’t for the stupid light, I would’ve stayed out there with him. But the bright noon sun was too draining, so I walked back into the house. The dark sanctuary of the kitchen brought relief, and I sighed. I had no idea if I had done the right thing, but anything that made Jack that upset was probably bad.

I spent more of the afternoon pretending to sleep than actually sleeping. To fill the time, I texted Jane and tossed and turned a lot. I listened for Jack to come in the house, but he never did. Bobby got up to eat, but everyone else was sound asleep. Except for Jack, who was gone.

Finally, I gave up on getting anymore rest and got out of bed. I texted him to ask where he was, but he didn’t answer. I was starting to think I was a pariah the way nobody answered my calls or texts.

When Bobby walked by on his way to his room, he smelled overly delicious. My bedroom door was shut, and the scent of his hot blood wafted in. It had been a few days since I ate, and vampires could go much longer than that. I had to get my hunger in control if I ever planned on being with Jack.

So as hungry as Bobby made me, I swallowed it back and decided to clear my head with a nice long shower. I had just started gathering my clothes when I felt the warmth in my chest, meaning Jack was nearby, and a moment later I heard him bounding up the stairs.

“Hey.” Jack poked his head in, still hanging onto the bedroom door. “Are you up?”

“Yeah, I was just about to take a shower,” I held up my clothes for him to see. “Unless you wanted something?”

“No, go ahead and shower. But do you wanna watch a movie after?”

“Yeah, sure,” I shrugged. “Have you slept yet?” It was after six, and as far as I knew, he hadn’t gotten any sleep since he got back.

“Nah, I’m okay,” he shook his head. “I’ll talk to you after your shower then.”

“Uh, yeah, okay?”

With that, he left, shutting the bedroom door behind him. I stood there, holding my clothes in my arms, trying to figure out what was going on. I heard him knocking on the door across the hall. He got more nervous, which made me nervous, so I decided to wait to see how this turned out before I got in the shower.