Finding Faith

It wasn’t like I could ask him. I needed to drop it and leave the past in the past, but the problem with that was every time I looked at my son, the past was there to haunt me. Those blue eyes, those sweet dimples, and a smile that was a perfect match to his father’s—it was all too much.

Saturday and Sunday I spent cleaning my own apartment. I started calling Jimmy Hurricane Jimmy, since the boy could destroy a room in less than two minutes flat. It wasn’t that he had a ton of toys; it was that he turned everything into something to play with. Boxes became cars and ships, and paper became people and airplanes. I was happy that my baby had an active imagination. It worked well since I couldn’t afford to buy him much.

I hated to do it, but the following Monday after work at the daycare, I went to the condo to clean. I hadn’t heard anything back from any of the places I’d applied to, so I called Mrs. Cooper to check in and see if she’d heard anything. Sadly, she was still in search mode, but she did have some good news for me. I was happy to hear that the boys were out of town again.

When I got to the condo, no one was there. I went through and checked all the rooms so there were no surprises and then I cleaned the entire place. By the time I was done, I was drenched in sweat and I had something gross all over the front of my clothes. I knew I was there alone so I thought I’d throw my clothes in the wash and grab a bath. Finn’s massive tub had been calling my name since the first time I’d cleaned it.

I took a towel with me to the laundry room and put all my clothes in the machine. Wrapping the towel around myself, I went back to Finn’s bathroom to a filling tub. Dropping my towel, I lowered myself into the hot water and sighed in contentment. The tub at my apartment was always full of kid’s toys and was so small. I’d never taken a bath there and my body longed for a nice long soak in steaming water.

I adjusted my hair into a tighter bun, closed my eyes, and lay back in the tub. Every ache and pain in my body felt better as all my muscles relaxed and melted into the heat. The steam opened up my sinuses and somehow I felt like I could breathe better. I used my hands to scoop up the hot water around me and lapped it over my breasts and shoulders.

“Oh my God, this is amazing,” I said to myself.

“Yes, it is,” a deep voice said from beside me.

I sat up and covered myself. Turning to reach for my towel, I found Finn leaning against the counter with the towel thrown across his shoulder.

His smoldering eyes touched every part of my body as I tried to sink farther into the water.

“Give me my towel, Finn,” I said with a growl.

“That’s no way to ask for something you want, Faith. I know you have better manners than that.”

He had no shame in looking at me. I, on the other hand, couldn’t stand the thought of him seeing me. I’d had a baby and things were different. Not to mention, he’d already said how awful I looked. It was beyond embarrassing and I knew the minute I got home Mrs. Cooper was going to call about my little swim in my employee’s bathtub. Of course I’d get fired over something so stupid.

“Please, Finn, give it to me,” I said in the nicest way possible, considering I was dying of humiliation.

“Oh, I’ll give it to you, baby. You only have to ask once,” he said as he dropped the towel and stalked over to the tub with a grin.

I held my hands out to stop him. “I meant the towel!” I said quickly.

His eyes dipped down and took in my bare breasts. I hadn’t even realized I’d stopped covering them to hold out my hands to stop him. His smile grew as I covered myself again.

“Your mouth says no, but your nipples say yes. What does the rest of you say?”

His voice was so low and smooth. It worked itself over my wet skin and rippled inside my thighs and lower stomach.

“Don’t talk to me like that,” I said.

Not that I didn’t like it, but the way he was making my body feel was wrong. Everything about the situation I had myself in was wrong.

“What’s wrong? Don’t like it when a man talks dirty? Are you too innocent for that still?”

I ignored his questions. He was making me uncomfortable. He was waking up parts of my body that had been asleep for a long time, and it was making me anxious.

“Can I please have my towel?” I asked again.

His dimples popped and for the first time since I’d run into him again, he looked like the old Finn. The way he was looking at me was playful and sweet—not playful and sinister.

“Let’s play a game. Say something dirty to me, and I’ll give you this towel,” he said as he reached down and plucked the towel from the tile.