Finding Faith

In that moment, everything changed. I was his and I didn’t care who said I couldn’t be. I didn’t care about anything else. I just wanted to be with him and soak up every moment that was offered to us.

I slid my arms around his neck and he smiled down at me.

“I’m not freaked out, but I guess I have a problem, too,” I said.

He leaned down and pressed his smiling lips against mine. “And what’s that? Anything I can help with?”

“Maybe. It seems my heart wants to talk, too.”

“Oh really? And what does your heart have to say?”

I sat quietly and tilted my head as if I were listening to something. “I’m falling for you, too.”

The moment the words left my lips, his face lit up. The car no longer felt like a dark and scary place. It was light and peaceful. As if someone had just lifted tons off of our shoulders.

He leaned in and kissed me again. This time pushing a little farther and drawing noises from me. My body rebelled against everything my father had ever taught me, and I didn’t care. If God didn’t want me to have that moment, then I wouldn’t have been there. My heart wouldn’t have been so full of love for Finn.

“We need to slow down,” he said against my lips.

“Why? Did I do something wrong?”

“God, no. You’re doing everything just right.”

I went back in and kissed him harder. I wasn’t sure what was happening to me, but I couldn’t get enough of him. I pressed my body against his in ways that didn’t make any sense to me and silently cursed my restrictive skirt for not allowing me to move my legs they way they begged to move. I didn’t understand any of it. I just knew it felt nice and I wanted to keep doing it. He chuckled against my lips and pulled away.

“I don’t want to push you into anything. When you’re ready, and if you decide you want me that way, I’ll be here. I’ll wait.” He grinned.

I paused at the look in his eyes. I’d only known Finn for a few weeks, yet somehow he had wrapped himself around me so tightly—metaphorically and literally.

“You’d wait for me?”

The concept seemed foreign. I was nothing—a pastel blob on the face of the earth. Meanwhile, he was bright—a star that illuminated my existence. I was drawn to him and I didn’t know if I’d ever want to pull myself away.

His thumb caressed my cheek and lips. He looked down at them as if he wanted to kiss me again and then licked his.

“I’d wait forever for you.”

And just like that, we were together. I was his and he was mine. I didn’t think twice about Stephen or my dad, and when Finn asked me to spend the night with him in his mom’s Jeep, I did just that. I fell asleep in his arms with the sounds of the waves as our background noise and his fingers in my hair.

Ten

Finn

When I woke up, my arms were wrapped around Faith and her face was buried in my chest. I was blanketed in her warmth and covered in her long, flowing hair. I ran my hand up her back and a tiny noise sounded from her moist lips.

I looked down at her flushed cheeks and smiled. Her mouth was open and she snored softly when she breathed in. It was best moment of my life. I’d slept better lying on the bench seat in the back of my mom’s Jeep than I had anywhere else in my life, and I’d slept in a lot of places.

I watched her sleep until the sun was fully shining into the windows. The seagulls outside seemed to get louder the brighter the sun grew. My leg was falling asleep, but I didn’t move. I didn’t want to wake her. The moment was too sweet to ruin.

When she finally woke, she leaned back and looked up at me with a sleepy smile. Her long hair lay across my arm. The soft scent of roses and fresh powder filled my senses as I bent my head down and gave her a tiny kiss.

“Good morning, beautiful,” I said as I let my thumb explore her creamy cheek.

I couldn’t stop touching her. It was as if I needed reassurance that she was really there with me. It wasn’t that I wasn’t used to girls being with me; it was that I wasn’t used to girls like Faith. She was perfection, far too perfect for a screw-up like me, and I knew in my heart that I didn’t deserve her, but I couldn’t help myself.

I couldn’t even think about the fact that my head was pounding. I had a tiny hangover and I felt a little embarrassed about my behavior the night before, but screw it. A drunk man tells no tales, and I’d been up front and honest with Faith, which was exactly what she deserved. At least I got it off my chest and at least she didn’t turn me away like she probably should have.