Fighting to Be Free

“What on earth do you think you’re doing?” her mother growled as she wrenched the door open, glaring at me.

I opened my mouth to answer but Ellie’s dad walked up behind her, pushing open the door further, smiling at me happily. “Hey, Jamie. How’s it going?” he asked.

I smiled back and nodded, shrugging. It was actually going pretty crappy right now, but I didn’t want to say that to him though. “Good thanks, Michael. I thought you guys were heading out this morning?”

He blew out a big breath and raked his hand through his hair. “Stupid car won’t start. Got someone coming out this afternoon to look at it,” he answered.

Ellie skipped up behind him, smiling broadly at me. I was so confused - why was she still smiling at me like that if she was going to break it off with me? She was still looking at me softly, affectionately.

“Morning! You feeling better?” she chirped, weaving past her parents and walking to my side.

I nodded and gulped. I couldn’t lose her; I didn’t think I would survive losing another girl from my life. She went up on tiptoes to kiss me, but still wasn’t tall enough so I bent my head and pressed my lips to hers for a second. The soft feel of her lips against mine was like torture, I never wanted the kiss to end, but I knew it had to.

She pulled back, stroking my forehead with her fingertips. “Poor baby. Glad you’re feeling better,” she whispered, smiling, her other hand taking mine.

“I need to talk to you,” I said. My eyes flicked back to her mother and I tried not to react at the hateful expression she was shooting me right now.

“Okay, come on in,” Ellie replied, tugging me towards the door. As she turned in her mother’s direction Ruth’s face immediately righted itself to a polite smile like she always put on when someone else was around. “Want a drink?” Ellie offered, heading to the fridge.

I shook my head wondering why she was being so casual about this, was the thought of breaking up with me, really that unimportant that it didn’t even warrant a reaction, a sad smile, anything?

Her parents walked out of the room, Michael patting me on the shoulder affectionately as he smiled at his daughter. Ellie sat down at the counter, pushing a can of soda towards me.

“So, you okay this morning?” I asked, trying to think about how to start or at least prompt her into saying the words I knew were coming.

Her eyes widened slightly before she looked down at her drink, looking a little flustered. “Yeah fine.”

I gulped and sat down next to her, trying not to let the scent of her hair affect me. She always used the most beautiful scented vanilla scented shampoo; I swear the smell of it would kill me one day.

“Paul walk you to the door?” I asked, watching her reactions.

She shifted on her stool, tracing her finger on the edge of her can. Ellie never really was a good liar.

“Umm…. Yep,” she lied, nodding, taking a swig of her drink.

I sighed deeply. “Mark drove you home, right?” I asked, deciding to get it over with - I would much rather this be done quickly, maybe it would be less painful that way.

She gasped, her eyes shooting up to meet mine. “Don’t be angry with Paul. I didn’t give him a choice,” she said, wincing.

I rolled my eyes. Paul was the last of my worries right now. “Okay.”

She frowned, turning in her seat, her knee’s pressing against my thigh casually as she leant closer to me. “You’re angry with me for letting Mark drive me home?” she asked, looking at me apologetically. I didn’t answer; she still hadn’t said anything about kissing him. She sighed and frowned. “I didn’t want to stay at the dance without you so I started walking home. A car started following me,” she said. My muscles tensed up thinking she was going to tell me that Tony Grier or one of his men had laid their hands on her. I looked at her angrily, waiting for her to say the words that would make me kill another person. “I got scared, I was going to call you, I had your number up and everything. But it turned out to be Mark. I didn’t want to walk home after that because I was already frightened, so I let him drive me,” she continued.

It wasn’t Tony? “It was Mark in the car, no one…. hurt you, right?” I asked, eyeing her cautiously.

A frown creased her forehead as she looked at me confused. “No one hurt me,” she confirmed.

“Please don’t be angry with me, Jamie. I know you’re probably annoyed that I left the dance on my own, and that I let Mark drive me.”

My body relaxed. “It’s cool. I knew it would happen eventually. Maybe we could still be friends though? I’d like that, maybe we could hang out occasionally?” I suggested, looking at her hopefully, begging her with my eyes to not cut me out of her life completely.

She frowned, her mouth dropping open in shock. “You’re going to use the Mark thing as an excuse to break it off with me?” she asked, shaking her head. “I didn’t think you were a coward, Jamie. Just man up and say what this is really about, that I’m not good enough and that you want someone prettier or nicer!” she ordered.

I almost choked on air at her words. She thought that I wanted someone prettier? She really was freaking crazy! “Ellie, what?” I asked, dumbstruck.

She groaned and pushed her drink away from her, looking extremely frustrated. “I’d like for us to be friends too. You don’t have to say it, it’s fine, I get it.”