Fighting to Be Free

She sniffed, “Jamie, that’s…… that’s just what I actually borrowed,” she muttered.

I opened my eyes and looked at her, she was leaning forward in her chair, her hand half outstretched as if she was going to touch me. I flinched my hands back, I didn’t want her to touch me, the woman repulsed me and if I had any other choice I would never see her again.

“Interest,” I stated, nodding as I realised what she meant. I should have guessed it wouldn’t be that easy. “So, how much do you need to pay it off?”

She swallowed and ran her hand over her hair, trying to smooth her ponytail as she looked away from me uncomfortably. “Thirteen.”

“Holy shit,” I gasped. My heart sank, there was no way I could get that money, and if she didn’t pay it off then it’d go up more every day. “Why would you borrow from him? Why didn’t you go to Brett?” I asked, looking at her like she was stupid. He would have given her the money, he wouldn’t have changed interest like Tony Grier would have either. Brett always looked after the family of his boys, he would have just let her borrow the money no questions.

She shrugged, her lip trembling slightly. “I wasn’t thinking. I needed a hit, I was desperate and no one would give me credit. I’d borrowed a couple of hundred from him before and paid it back with no problems. I thought everything would be fine, but then I missed a payment and he just went crazy, smashing everything up and shouting threats. Then the interest was added and now I’m even paying interest on the interest! Business was really slow last week because I was ill, so I couldn’t afford the latest payment….” she trailed off, looking down at her arm wincing slightly.

I bit back my angry retort. This all started over drugs? She borrowed money from a loan shark to buy drugs, how idiotic can one person get?

“I don’t know what to do,” she whispered, not even bothering to wipe the tears and snot from her face. She looked so helpless, so vulnerable and weak. But she wasn’t helpless, she had me, she always had done.

I took a deep breath and shook my head, pushing myself up from the sofa. “I’ll sort it. Just don’t pull this shit again, this is the last time I’m fixing anything for you.” I glared at her warningly, I was trying to go straight, this wasn’t what I needed. I was trying to get free of this life and just like I thought she would, she was pulling me back into it again.

She jumped to her feet, looking at me shocked. “You have the money to pay it off?” she asked, looking at me so hopefully that it made me feel slightly sick.

I nodded, “Yeah,” I lied, smiling at her confidently.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her eyes boring into mine, showing a compassion and gratitude I had never seen from her before. But it was too late now, we were nothing to each other anymore, I was cutting all ties.

I nodded, “Don’t mention it.” I turned on my heel and strode towards the door, thoughts of what I was going to do now running through my head. I guess I had to go see Tony Grier and see what could be done about my drugged up hooker of a mother’s debt.

She didn’t say anything else as I walked out of the hell hole I once lived in, I shut the door behind me and closed my eyes. Why did this have to happen? Why now when I was just getting myself sorted out? Would I ever be free from my old life? Did I even deserve another chance after everything that happened? Maybe that’s what this was, a sign that I didn’t deserve the life I was starting to lead, that I didn’t deserve to be happy and have a life with a girl I was in love with.

I got in my car and drove towards where I knew I would find him, even on a Sunday afternoon. He was always working, seven days a week, it was like the guy didn’t have a life. On the way I stopped at the ATM machine to draw as much cash as I could from my account. I pulled up outside the lavish building that was Tony Grier’s base and office. From the outside the place looked nice, the slogan above the door read, ‘You need it, we lend it, no questions asked’.

He actually ran a legitimate money lending service, structured loans with payment plans, that was his official business. If the tax man or cops came along and looked into it, they would find a guy who did well for himself and loaned money to people for a fast payback, everything was legal through the books. Of course there were people like my mother who went off of the books, that was where the real money was for him. People borrowed small amounts of money from him, and after interest and charges were added, they ended up signing over their houses and other worldly possessions.

I pushed on the glass door, the air conditioning immediately hitting me in the face as I walked in, making the hairs on my arms stand up. Everything was sparkling and clean, a little beige marble counter at the front with a lady sitting behind the glass, looking all professional in her white shirt.

She probably had no idea of the darker dealings of the man she worked for, this was probably just a run of the mill job for her, that paid well and even offered her good benefits. Then again, how could she not know? They probably dragged people out of here every day, bleeding and begging, she couldn’t be oblivious to it all, she obviously played the act very well.

I headed up to the counter and smiled, “Hi there. I need to speak to Mr Grier, please.”

She tapped on her keyboard, looking at the screen. “He’s in with someone at the moment. I’ll just take your name and then you can have a coffee and wait for him if you like,” she offered, smiling sweetly. Her politeness and tone, matched the pristine marble counter and the spotless, smear free, glass that she was sat behind.