Eyes Wide Open

I’d gotten a text from Ethan about an hour earlier telling me he would be home late and eating dinner at his office. I understood, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. The Olympics were huge and it was exciting as the buildup to the opening ceremonies grew. I really did understand the demands Ethan was under at work, and it made me feel better to know that he hated it as much as I did, if not more. He told me all the time how much he wished he could just stay in for one of my home-cooked dinners and cuddle in front of the television together and have sex for dessert.

Yeah, me too.

I was a wreck emotionally and I knew it. I was lonely, and hormonal, and far too needy at the moment. I hated feeling needy.

I looked longingly over at the Miele coffeemaker, which had to be worth more than my boot collection, and sulked as I wiped down the granite worktop. No good coffee for the next seven months was gonna suck about as much as the lonely dinner did tonight. I didn’t do decaf and figured torturing myself with only one cup a day wasn’t worth the hassle.

I was finding my inner Zen and gaining a close personal relationship with herbal teas instead. Raspberry and Tangerine Zinger had been pleasant surprises, I must admit. I made a cup of the Raspberry Zinger and called Benny.

“Hello, my lovely darling.”

“I miss you. What are you up to tonight?” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound too pathetic.

“Ricardo’s here and we’re just done with dinner.”

“Ahhh, well, why did you even answer the phone? You’re otherwise busy. Sorry for interrupting, I just wanted to give you a drive-by love blast.”

“No, no, no, my sweet. Not so fast. What is going on with you?” Ben was without a doubt the most emotionally intuitive man on the planet. He could sniff out the smallest innuendo and go wild with possible scenarios. I’d seen him in action enough to know.

“Nothing is going on with me,” I lied. “You’re busy and have company. Call me tomorrow, okay?”

“No. Ricardo’s sorting out some work business on a call of his own. Start talking.”

I sighed into the phone. Why did I call Ben again?

“I’m waiting, darling. What is going on with you?”

“Ben, I’m fine. Everything is good. I’ve moved in with Ethan and he’s very swamped with work and the Games coming. I’m just doing my thing.”

“So you’re alone tonight?” Ben was going to ask me for details, one after the other. I am so dumb sometimes.

“Yes. He’s so busy right now with organization meetings.”

“Why on earth didn’t you call me? I’d have taken you out for a spin.”

“No, you have plans with the fantastically handsome Ricardo, remember? I’ve not felt like going out for a spin the last days anyway.”

“You’re not feeling well?”

Fuck. “No, Ben, really I’m good. I was just home alone and missing my friend and wanted to hear your voice is all. We haven’t talked since the boot photos you took.”

“Oh, God, they’re gorgeous. I’ll send you some of the proofs on email.”

“I can’t wait to see them.” I couldn’t wait, but Ethan sure could. He was still voicing his displeasure at my modeling, but I wasn’t budging on the issue. Especially now. If I couldn’t work at the Rothvale on the paintings, then I sure as hell was going to have plenty of time for my other job of modeling. At least now, before my body got big. I hoped to even do some pregnancy-themed shots. It was something that crossed my mind, even if I couldn’t share my news with anyone. Ben didn’t know anything yet, and neither did Gaby.

They were both going to kill me for not telling.

“So you’ve moved in with Blackstone, huh?”

“Yes, Ben. I did. Ethan demanded it, really. After what happened at the National Gallery the night of the Mallerton Gala, he sort of put his foot down. I’m keeping the lease on my flat to help ease Gaby’s way through the end of the year, but yeah, we are now cohabitating.”

“When’s the wedding?” Ben asked dreamily.

I laughed at him. “Would you stop!”

“I’m serious, girl. You’re so headed there, and if I know anything at all it’s that Blackstone loves you well and good, my darling.”

“You really see that in him?”

Ben scoffed into the phone. “A person would have to be dead not to. I’m happy for you. You deserve it, and so much more.”

Oh, we’ve got the more coming all right. “I’ll be crying if you utter another word, Ben, I mean it.” I wasn’t lying this time.

He seemed to get my vibe and lighted the tone. “You have to let me help you choose your dress. Promise me,” he pleaded. “Vintage, fitted, handmade lace . . .” The dreamy voice was back. “You will look a goddess, you know, if you let me have at you.”

I smiled into the phone and thought about how surprised Ben would be to find out he and Ethan were on the same team on this one. “I’m not saying a word, buster. I gotta go but I loved hearing your voice. I’ve been without it too long.”

“Me too, lovely girl. Text me your free days and let me take you to lunch next week?”

“Will do, Ben. Love you.”

Wow, that was a close one, I thought as I hit End. Better not call Gaby either. Second that on Dad, Mom, and Aunt Marie as well. Gaby would have my pregnancy planned out and the hospital scheduled after just one look at me. I knew I couldn’t hold out much longer. Ethan was pushing for the announcement of our engagement, and if I knew one thing about Ethan, it was that he usually got exactly what he wanted.

Being a sucker for punishment, I logged into my Facebook next.

A message from my high school friend Jessica was sitting in my inbox. We’d kept in touch through Facebook since I’d moved to London. I didn’t have a ton of friends on my profile, and kept it pretty private. Ethan had checked it out thoroughly and given the okay. He said that the threat was from people who already knew me, where I lived and worked, so having a Facebook wasn’t going to matter either way.

Jessica Vettner: Hey honey. How are you? I’m just doing the same old with work and life and you’ll never guess who I ran into today. Karl Westman from Bayside. Remember him? He’s still mega hawt too!!! LOL He asked for my number. :D Karl’s been working in Seattle and just got transferred back here to Marin. I bumped into him at the gym of all places. I still go to First Fitness over on Hemlock. I see your dad there sometimes and we share the same personal trainer! Your dad is a sweetheart and really proud of you. ☺ He talks about you all the time and said you’re doing more modeling and loving it. I’m happy for you, Bry. I would love to just see you again! When are you ever coming back to SF for a visit?? ♥ Jess