Euphoria

In addition, Ash and I had still not talked about the entire Miami fiasco. We had come back home and just swept the entire event under the rug, pretended that it never happened. Things were good between us, we were getting along great, but Mase’s name was never brought up. I had tried several times to begin the conversation, but I always chickened out because I hated thinking about causing issues between us when things were going so smoothly.

The day classes resumed for the spring semester, I saw Mina walking in the courtyard in between my first two classes. It was the first time I had seen her since the wedding and we greeted each other like long lost friends that hadn’t seen each other in year, not just weeks, as we squealed, hugged, and jumped around. Some of the passersby looked at us like we were crazy, but I didn’t care one bit. She was the only girl friend that I had in my life, and with all of the drama that had happened, I was ecstatic to see her.

“Scarlett! Oh my God! I’ve missed you!” She shrieked as her blonde curls bounced up and down when she hugged me.

I squeezed her tightly to my body and mirrored her excitement. “I know!! I’m so happy to see you! When did y'all get back from your honeymoon?” I knew that she and Noah were going to Telluride for snow skiing but didn’t know for how long. I was still kind of in shock that she was actually married.

“We’ve been back for about a week, just lying low, relaxing at the apartment. What about you? I heard there was some excitement with Mason at the reception, but I was so busy with the wedding stuff that I never heard the true story about what happened.”

My stomach turned nauseous at just the thought of that night and the things that were said and done outside that tent. I really didn’t want to discuss it again, but knew that Mina deserved to know what had happened with everything since that night. “Come on lets grab a coffee and I’ll give you the Cliff’s Notes version of the last few weeks of the soap opera that is my life.”

As we walked to the Starbucks on campus, I caught her up with everything from the moment that Mase had shown up to her wedding and sang I Love You to me up until that moment in time that I had still had no idea what was going on with him.

“Oh my word. I can’t believe that Scar. That’s just terrible; I can’t believe he OD’d,” she said shaking her head. “We had no idea of any of that. I’m surprised that Max didn’t call Noah to fill him in. I’m just in shock.”

“Yeah, it’s all been pretty crazy,” I replied meekly. “I just wish I knew where he was right now. I know I need to leave him alone… for the sake of mine and Ash’s relationship, but I want to know that he’s okay and getting help, ya know?”

She stared at me with a serious look on her face and asked, “Is that all you really want, Scarlett? That would make you happy?”

I nodded in response as I approached the barista and ordered us both a venti caramel macchiato. “Yes, I care about him as a person, and I’d like to know that he’s getting his shit together.”

She didn’t say anything, but instead pulled her phone out of her purse and began to make a call. I raised my eyebrows at her, questioning what she was doing, but she just held one finger up in the air at me, indicating that I needed to wait. A few moments later, a smile spread across her face and she greeted the person on the other end of line.

“Hey Cruz, it’s Mina. How are you?” She paused as he spoke. God, I hated only hearing one end of a conversation.

“I’m good, thanks, and I will pass on your regards to Noah. Hey, I heard what happened in Miami with Mason and I was just calling to get an update on him. “

“Oh, he is? Well, that’s good.”

“Yeah, I know he is.”

“Where?”

“Okay cool, sorry for calling so early and waking you up. I appreciate the info.”

“Yep, you too. Bye.”

She hung up the phone and I anxiously awaited the news that she had been informed of. “Well…”

“He’s in drug and alcohol rehab at a place called The Right Step here in Houston,” she said softly. “Cruz says he seems to be doing really well but has a few more weeks of staying there before he’s released.”

My brain started moving a thousand miles an hour at the news of where he was and what he was doing there. An internal battle that I had struggled to keep dormant for several weeks instantly became front and center.

“Scarlett, you said you just needed to know that he was okay,” Mina’s voice startled me. “Don’t make any brash decisions. It’s obvious that you still have feelings for him, but I don’t want to see you throw away anything that you and Ash have built for something that can never be.”

I smiled at her, hoping it didn’t appear as fake as it felt. “I know, Mina. I appreciate you calling Cruz to find out for me. I do feel much better now.”

We separated for our next classes a few minutes later and made plans to have dinner the following Friday. Throughout my English Lit class the following hour, all I could do was think about Mase in rehab. I had so many questions… so many things to say to him… Halfway through the lecture, I succumbed to the temptation and pulled out my phone and googled the facility. I found out the visiting hours as well as jotted down the address. I managed to wait until the class was over before running to my car and hitting the highway. The entire drive to the center I toyed with whether or not I should call Ash and tell him where I was going. I ultimately decided that it was one of those better to ask for forgiveness things than ask for permission, so I opted not to. A little less than an hour later, I pulled into one of the visitor parking spots and walked to the front door. My heart was pounding nervously inside my chest as I had no idea of what he would say when he saw me, but regardless of what his reaction would be, I had to see him again.

After I signed in with the office, I was led to a common room where I was asked to wait. It seemed like forever that I sat there, looking around at the other patients talking to their visitors, some conversations appeared to be happy and uplifting while others seemed tense and uneasy. Then from behind where I was sitting, the voice that I hadn’t heard in seventeen long days serenaded my ears with just one word.

“Angel.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

Demons ~ Imagine Dragons

Wherever You Will Go ~ The Calling

MASON

I had been in rehab for just a couple of weeks, and surprisingly, it had been much better than I thought it would be. As I sat in my bed, I thought back to the day that I had begun that next chapter in my life ~ sobriety.

The night I had checked myself in, I was shown around the facility and then taken to the room that would be my only personal space for the foreseeable future. My room was small and simple, just enough room for a single bed, a small dresser, and a desk. Everything was white- the furniture, the linens, everything. The place was much nicer than I had originally expected, but it was still a rehab facility ~ still a place where a bunch of people who were fucked in the head were all corralled into one enclosed space. The following day, which was my first full day there, I was taken to meet my assigned therapist first thing in the morning. As I sat in the chair waiting for the poor soul who had to try and figure out how to control my demons, I found that I was more nervous than I thought I would be. Knowing that you are about to be judged on all of the awful decisions that you’ve made is quite unsettling; I didn’t want to be thought of as a bad person. I heard the door close behind me and the heels click on the floor as they approached the chair I was sitting in. You can only imagine my surprise when Heather, the woman from the plane, took a seat directly across from me dressed comfortably in jeans and a purple V-neck sweater.

“Mason?” She asked, appearing just as shocked as I was.

“Heather,” I replied with a grin. Seriously, what were the odds?

“Well, this is quite a surprise, I must admit,” she said, returning the smile. She held a file folder in her hand, but before opening it, she looked at me with her head cocked. “Before we get started, I’m going to give you the option if you’d like to be reassigned to a different counselor… seeing that we have met previously. It’s vital in your recovery that you feel one hundred percent comfortable in this process.”

I didn’t have to think about it even for a minute. I wasn’t thrilled to be in that place, but if I had to be, I might as well look at her pretty face every day. “I promise that I’m completely fine with you being my assigned counselor. Actually, I probably feel more at ease talking to you than some other stranger that’s gonna tell me how I’ve fucked up my life. You’ve already told me that it’s my fault I’m in Hell.”

She leaned forward and lowered her voice, “Mason, I never said it was your fault. I’m not about placing blame or saying who or what is responsible for the place you are at in your life. It’s my job to help you rectify the situation, and make sure that you don’t get back there again. But like I told you yesterday, you have to want to get better. If that’s not the case, then you are wasting everyone’s time.”

It was damn hard not to look down her sweater as she talked to me, but I refrained. For the first time that I can remember, I refrained. I figured I better take this shit seriously, otherwise I was never going to get a chance to play my music again. I had already lost Scarlett, so really all I had left was my music.

I looked into Heather’s eyes and for the first time, I admitted aloud, “I want out of this Hell. I want to know how to cope with stress and anxiety without the aid of a drink or a joint. I want to be able to play my music and find happiness again. I want to learn how to live without her.”

Fourteen days later, I was sitting in my bed with my guitar and my journal, furiously writing down the latest song that had taken my mind hostage, when one of the center’s administrators, stuck her head in my room and announced, “Hey superstar, you’ve got a visitor.”

Looking up at her, surprised, I asked, “Do you know who it is?”

“No, sorry, I didn’t ask. I’m just relaying the message. I didn’t even see them,” she replied before walking on down the hallway.

I was a bit perplexed because I wasn’t expecting anyone until the following weekend, when Marcus was supposed to stop by again. Since I had been admitted, I had had a total of three visitors, and to be quite honest, I really didn’t feel like seeing anyone else. Marcus had come because well, he’s my brother. No matter what happened between us, no matter what ugly things we said to each other, we were brothers forever. We always just wanted the best for each other. Cruz had come the first Sunday to bring me my guitar and to pass along well wishes from all the guys. I could tell that he was uncomfortable the entire time he was there, not that I could blame him much, so I told him that I greatly appreciated him coming to check on me and bringing me my instrument, but he really didn’t need to make the trip again. I’d keep him updated with my progress via texts. The third and final visitor I had was Smiley, Jag’s girlfriend and apparently, his assistant as well. If I used the word uncomfortable for Cruz’s demeanor while there, I would have to say that she was downright petrified. By the look on her face, one would’ve thought she was going to visit a prisoner on death row. It pissed me off that Jag had sent her, that he couldn’t be bothered with making the trip himself. I knew he had her come to make sure that I was doing what I was supposed to, but I was cordial to her and told her that she could report back that I was on my best behavior. I even apologized for my outburst towards her back in the hospital, in addition to thanking her for finding me that night at the party. Who knows what would’ve happened had I lain there unconscious much longer than I did. By the end of the visit, she had relaxed some but I still didn’t think we were going to be BFFs any time soon.