Euphoria

I heard him sigh dejectedly on the other end of the phone before he answered. “Yes, Max and I came last night. I hadn’t heard from you and I thought you may need the support.”

If I didn’t already love him so incredibly much, I would’ve fallen head over heels for him in that moment. He had come all the way to Florida to be there for me, knowing that I was most likely an emotional mess over my ex-boyfriend’s overdose.

“Ash, I swear to you, nothing happened. Mase checked himself out of the hospital yesterday. I must’ve sat my phone down by the bed when I was helping him get settled. I slept on the couch… I promise I’m telling you the truth,” I pled through my sobs. At some point during the conversation, Mason had gone back into the bedroom, and I was thankful for the privacy.

We both sat there on the phone quietly for what seemed like forever. I didn’t know what else to say; I needed so badly for him to believe me. After all we had been through, I didn’t want to lose him over a misunderstanding.

Finally, his voice broke the silence, “Okay, I believe you. As hard as it is for me, I’m trusting you; please don’t let me down.”

A huge weight was lifted off my chest with his words, and I needed to see him immediately. “Where are you at?” I asked.

“We are at some hotel by the airport… I’m not even sure. It was so late when we got in last night, we just stopped at the first place we saw. Where are you?”

“We are at the Bentley Hotel.”

Even Ash couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of the name. “Are you serious? Who booked that place?”

Chuckling, I replied, “Yeah, pretty awesome, right?”

“Yes, very. Ok, well I’m gonna assume that Rat is fine since he is out of the hospital, so Max and I are coming to get you, Butterfly. We’ll be there in just a bit, wait for us in the lobby, okay?”

Even though it gutted me to leave Mason so soon, I needed to reassure Ash that he was who I was in love with and wanted to be with; there was no way I was arguing with him. After all he was right- Mase was fine; he had people there to take care of him and to make sure that he got back home okay. I needed to take care of myself and the functioning relationships I still had. I knocked on the bedroom door and despondent grey eyes greeted me.

“You don’t need to say anything, Angel. I heard,” he mumbles.

Seeing him like this was almost as heartbreaking as seeing him lying half dead in the hospital bed, completely dejected and crestfallen. I brought my hand to his cheek and my thumb caressed back and forth over his smooth skin. He closed his eyes and pressed his palm against my palm. Once again, tears streamed down my face as my heart broke for him… for me… for the us that could’ve been.

He opened his eyes and leaned forward until his forehead was pressed against mine. Staring deep into my eyes, he whispered, “Please don’t go, Angel. We can make this work, I know we can.”

His combination of his promising words, the look of determination of his face, and the feel of his breath on my lips was almost enough to convince me that he was right… almost. I inhaled a deep breath before speaking. “Mase, so much has happened between us. We can’t just pretend that it hasn’t. We can never get back to where we were.”

“We can be better than we were, Scarlett. Please just give me a chance.”

I brushed away the wetness from his cheekbone and I placed my finger over his lips as he was about to say something else. “I can’t Mase. I love you, but I just can’t. Please understand.”

Afraid that if he said anything else, I would break down and tell him that I would stay with him and give us a chance, I turned on my heel, grabbed my bag, and walked into the hotel hallway. Just before the door closed behind me, I heard him say, “I will never stop loving you, Angel.”

I made it to the elevator before I completely broke down sobbing. Leaning against the wall, I let it all out, and I stayed there until I had no more tears left to cry. I then slipped into the bathroom and washed my face the best I could, but there was no getting rid of the puffy red eyes that stared back at me in the mirror. I took several deep breaths and did my best to regain my composure before heading downstairs.

Thirty minutes later I was standing in the extravagant lobby, my bag at my feet, waiting for Ash to get there. As soon as I saw his long blonde hair come through the main entrance, I took off running towards him. Nearly tackling him to the floor, I jumped on him and began kissinghim all over his face. Laughing and squeezing me tightly, I knew he felt the same relief and comfort that I did being back in his arms. I saw Max standing a few feet away, giving us our space, he had a huge smile plastered on his face. I grinned back, thanking him silently for his support. Despite the numerous bumps and detours of the previous year and a half, I felt that I had finally found the path I was supposed to be on to find my happiness.

CHAPTER FOUR

She is Love ~ Parachute

When the Lights Go Down ~ Jason Walker

ASH

Seeing Scarlett’s face light up when she saw me caused my heart to swell until I thought it was going to burst. I had told her on the phone that I believed her, and I did for the most part, but her reaction to my arrival in the hotel lobby gave me the reassurance that I needed. After our somewhat obnoxious public display of affection, which I could’ve given two shits about, Max, Scarlett, and I headed straight to the airport. I wanted to get her as far away from him as soon as possible.

As we waited for our flight, we grabbed some food and drinks in one of the airport restaurants. I didn’t care that it was nine o’ clock in the morning, I needed a drink. I had been a tightly bundled ball of nerves for two days, and I finally felt that I could relax a bit. Max and I both had a couple Bloody Mary’s with our breakfast as she nursed her milk and sugar with a dash of coffee. It was in that moment I was reminded of how young Scarlett still was. Still just nineteen, out of her parents’ iron-clad restraints for only a year and a half, she had dealt with a lot in that short amount of time. Even though I was only three years older and had dealt with my fair share of life’s disappointments and misfortunes, just as everyone does, most people are taught to deal and cope with these things beginning at a young age. Her parents had really done a disservice to her keeping her sheltered from the reality of the world.

“Is your drink really that interesting?” Scarlett’s voice broke through my thoughts. My eyes snapped up to hers and she had this cute little smirk on her face. “You’ve been staring at it and stirring it with that celery stalk for the better part of five minutes while Max and I have been arguing if window or aisle seats are better. We really need you to be the tie breaker on this one, if we can tear you away from your precious Mary.”

I snickered as I looked back down at my drink and saw that my hand was still swirling the green stalk in a circular motion. Quickly pulling it away and grabbing the glass, I took a long drink before pushing my serious thoughts from my mind and enjoying the company of my two closest friends.

“Well, there really is no argument. The window seat is by far the more superior of the seats on a plane,” I said matter-of-factly.

“How can you say that?” she exclaimed. “If you have an aisle seat, you don’t have squeeze past anyone when you need to get up for the bathroom, you don’t feel claustrophobic being squeezed between two people or a person and a wall, and most importantly, if there’s a need for evacuation, you’re the first to get your ass to the exit doors.” Max rolled his eyes, as she had apparently already spouted off these reasons to him.

“Scarlett, honey,” I began, knowing how much she hated to be called honey. I couldn’t help but laugh as she wrinkled up her nose at the word, giving me exactly the reaction I knew she would have. “If you have a window seat, no one squeezes over you to go to the bathroom… no one’s ass is in your face; it’s your ass in someone else’s face, so who cares. Secondly, you don’t feel claustrophobic at all because you can look out the window!! And to your last point, I don’t get on a plane thinking about the possibility of a crash. If a tin can is going to fall out of the sky and land either in water or on land, I don’t think chances of survival are very good no matter what seat I’m in. In addition to all of that, the window seat gives you the luxury of seeing and connecting to the beautiful earth below you. Have you ever flown into a big city like New York or Vegas late at night and seen the lights from the plane window? Or ever looked down as you fly over a large body of water and thought about the expansive marine wildlife that is below you? Or ever wonder how so much of the land seems to be divided into perfect squares? Or…”

“Okay, okay!! You win, the window seat is the best,” she interrupted, rolling her eyes.

Max started cracking up laughing at her obvious attempt at agreeing just to get me to shut up. “Well done, man. She’s one stubborn little bratty flamingo.”

Scarlett couldn’t help but giggle at his ridiculous flamingo comment as she punched him in his arm. “And just for all that, I’m sitting by the window on the way home. You two can fight over middle and aisle.”

We spent the next hour continuing the light-hearted conversation, none of us wanting to venture into the topic of why we were all there. I knew that she and I still needed to have a very serious conversation, but it wasn’t the time or place to do it. For the moment, I just wanted to enjoy the smiles and laughter.

SCARLETT

From the time Ash had picked me up at the hotel, he had not stopped touching me. He was either holding my hand or had his hand on my leg or his hand at the base of my back… some sort of physical contact at all times. It was almost as if subconsciously he needed to feel me to remind himself that I was there with him. And even though I loved how it made me feel cherished, it also made me sad that he was that insecure in our relationship. I knew it was my fault that he felt that way, and I knew that it was my job to fix it. We still had a lot to talk about; I needed to be honest about the lingering feelings I had about Mase, and also express to him the difference in my love for the two of them. However, at the end of the day, words were just that… words. They meant nothing without the actions to back them up. It was time to show Ash Walker that he was who I wanted in my life.

Once we landed in Houston, Ash drove Max and me to our apartment. As we approached the complex, an uncomfortable silence fell over us. I wasn’t sure if he wanted to go home or to stay with me, to talk or not talk. I kept waiting for him to make some reference to what he was planning on doing, but instead he just clammed up. I figured that was a good of time as any to start showing him how I felt, even if I was moderately scared of rejection.

He pulled the car into a parking spot and Max jumped out of the back seat, escaping the evident awkwardness. “I’d really like if you’d stay with me tonight,” I said quietly, staying in the passenger seat.

He turned to look at me, his blue eyes bright and hopeful. “Are you sure? I didn’t know if you needed some time alone or… whatever,” he replied as he ran his fingers nervously through his hair.