Euphoria

“Are you gonna tell me where we are going?” she asked, obviously both excited and curious as we pulled out of her apartment complex.

“Nope,” I teased her. “You’ll know when we get there.”

“Well, how long of a drive is it?”

“Just a couple of hours. Settle down Nervous Nellie, it will be fun, I promise.

She gave me that signature Scarlett smile and melted my heart. “Ok, I trust you. I just like being prepared for where I’m going and who I’m going to be around.”

I grabbed her hand and brought it to my mouth, kissing the top of her knuckles. “Other than the hotel staff, I’m the only person you need to worry about being around.”

True to my word, about three hours later we pulled up to Lake Austin Spa Resort. After a quick check in with the front desk, I retrieved the keys to our premier hot tub cabin and I drove the car around to our home for the next two nights. When we entered cabin, she was like a little kid on Christmas morning, looking around at everything, taking it all in. She was beaming from ear to ear, and I knew that I had made the right decision. When she made her way to the French doors in the back of the cabin, she opened them and found the back porch decked out with a hot tub and posh sitting area that had breathtaking views of the lake.

“It’s absolutely gorgeous, Ash,” she whispered in her sweet little voice. She turned around and launched herself into my arms. “Thank you so much for bringing me here. It’s perfect.”

I enveloped her tightly in my arms, burying my face in her hair, savoring her heavenly smell. “You’re welcome, butterfly; anything for you.”

Sunday afternoon came before either of us wanted it to. We had spent forty eight hours being completely pampered at the spa and divulging into the delicious meals prepared by the chefs. My mom and sister had always gone to get massages and pedicures when I was growing up, and I had never quite understood the draw to it, but after that weekend, I had a newfound respect for the relaxation and rejuvenation those things did for one’s well-being. Spending that time alone away with Scarlett was therapeutic not only on an individual level, but for us as a couple as well. We spent hours upon hours in the hot tub under the stars talking about our hopes and dreams for the future. I told her all about CERN and my obsession with the research that was going on there. She expressed to me her love for music, which was much deeper than I had ever realized. She hadn’t done much with it scholastically because she was afraid of what her parents and others would think of her wasting away a Rice education just to major in music theory. I encouraged her to follow her heart with it. She would only be miserable if she ended up working in the business world if her true calling was in music. I hoped that I had gotten through to her, even if it was just a little, and I was going to continue to push her to follow her dream. On several occasions I had the opportunity to tell her about California, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment with a possible argument, plus I still didn’t know for sure where she could enroll once we got there. I knew everything would work out. Like I had always told her, I had faith that fate would find a way.

SCARLETT

When Ash and I came back from our weekend at the lake, I was completely revitalized and felt as if I had a direction for my future. I had been struggling with the whole “what do you want to be when you grow up” topic for some time now. Other than my music, I really had nothing else that I felt connected to. All of my classes came pretty easy to me for the most part, but I didn’t love any of them. Even though they had always pushed my music lessons on me, my parents had always made me feel like there was no future in it, that it wasn’t an acceptable career choice. However after talking to Ash about it, I began to realize that there was nothing disgraceful at all in following your calling. Even if I was an elementary school music teacher forever, I would be doing something that I absolutely loved; it didn’t matter how much money I did or didn’t make nor what my parents thought about it.

After he dropped me off at my apartment that evening, I unpacked my things and changed into my pajamas. I had been hoping Max would be there so I could tell him all about the weekend, but he was nowhere to be found. I also couldn’t wait to tell Mason about my decision. I thought about texting him, but decided I would wait to tell him in person on Tuesday when I went to see him. I knew he would be proud of me for going after something I really wanted. I was accepting who I was and what I wanted, and I was finally learning to embrace it. I felt as if things were finally starting to make sense for me.

All of the talk and thinking about music also made me realize that other than when I was bored at work, I hardly ever played anymore. It had been a long time since I had learned to play anything new as well. I pulled my keyboard out of my closet and pulled up the sheet music to Ellie Goulding’s Burn, which I was totally in love with. For the next couple of hours I completely lost myself in the song; I allowed the music to take over, my fingers moving fluidly over the keys as I belted out the lyrics. Not even aware that Max had come home, he nearly scared the life out of me when his voice joined me mid chorus during my concert for one. I looked over my shoulder at him and smiled as he climbed onto my bed next to me, neither of us missing a note.

When we finished the song, he began clapping and whistling. “Bravo! Bravo! My dear Scarlett, when did you learn how to play the piano?”

“Umm, when I was about six,” I teased as I nudged his shoulder with mine.

“I knew you played the guitar, but I had no idea about this… and your voice! Why don’t you do anything with this talent? You’re amazing sweetheart.”

Slightly blushing, I told him my news. “Well, actually I decided over this weekend that I am going to do something with it. I’ve always felt like it was just something to do as a hobby, but after talking with Ash this weekend he helped me realize that if I really love it, which I do, that I should pursue it. So when I got home, I pulled this old thing out,” I explained as I nodded to the keyboard.

“I’m really in shock. I just never realized,” he said beaming down at me. Abruptly, he jumped off the bed. “Hold on, I’m gonna grab my guitar. I want to play with you.”

A few minutes later, Max and I were holding quite the concert on my bed. We played anything and everything that we both knew how to play by memory; I’m sure our neighbors just loved us. I then thought of a song that was perfect for the two of us.

“How quickly can you pick up music from a tab sheet?” I asked him.

He rolled his eyes at me. “So do you not know who I am? I am the guitarist for the world-renowned Thirty Two Leaves,” he retorted, acting annoyed.

“Oh well, excuse me,” I said playfully. I put the iPad in his lap with Together pulled up on it. “In that case, here read over this while I play the song for you to listen to. I’ll expect you to nail it on the first try.”

After we listened to it a couple of times, he said, “Okay, I think I’ve got it. Let’s give it a go.” And nail it, he did. We sounded amazing, if I do say so myself. Even he knew it. “Okay let’s try it again, but dirty it up a little. It’s a little too bubblegum for both of our voices,” he suggested.

I nodded excitedly, completely understanding what he was saying. Our voices harmonized perfectly together, and after just a couple of run throughs, we had pretty much perfected it.

Looking at the clock on my nightstand, I saw that it was after two in the morning. Max’s eyes followed mine and he laughed. “Yes, we better both get some sleep. I’m afraid our song won’t help us pass any of our classes this semester.” He kissed me on the forehead before getting off the bed. “Get some sleep, rockstar. We’ll play again tomorrow.”

I slipped in between my cool sheets as he walked out of my room. Just before he closed the door behind him, he stuck his head in and said, “If Noah and the rest of the guys are okay with it, would you ever be interested in doing a song or two with us up at Empty’s?”

I lifted my head off of the pillow and looked at him in disbelief. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m serious, silly. You’re really incredible” he answered, smiling brightly.

“Absolutely. I’d love it.”

“Okay, I’ll let you know what they say. Goodnight, sweetheart.”

“Goodnight Max.”

CHAPTER TWELVE

Wake Me Up ~ Avicci

The Forgotten ~ Green Day

MASON

One more day. I had one more day in the rehab center before I rejoined the rest of society, and to be quite honest, I was a little nervous. Despite my initial denial that I even needed help to begin with, my mindset towards how I viewed both myself and others was completely different five weeks after walking through those doors. The clarity in which I was beginning to see things with was incredible, and learning how to make decisions in the best interest of me without being a selfish asshole was becoming attainable.

Scarlett’s visits every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon were the bright spots of my week. I was thrilled when she told me about her decision to follow her musical dreams. Of course, as a musician myself, I knew the fulfillment that it helped bring to my life, and I really wanted her to find true happiness as well, wherever that was. It had become apparent that any hope of Scarlett and I ever being together in a romantic sense was all but nonexistent, no matter what I wanted, but I still wanted the absolute best life for her. Our relationship while I was in the center had blossomed into an amazing friendship. I had always known that she was sweet, compassionate, and had a heart of gold, but I discovered that she had an amazing sense of humor and was fun to just hang out with. My desire to touch her smooth porcelain skin or kiss her soft pink lips had not disappeared, but I learned to push it to the back of my mind. Her being in my life, in whatever capacity, made me a better person; I’d take my angel any way I could get her.

I had decided that I wanted to stay at my apartment in Houston for the six weeks post release for a couple of reasons. First, I could continue my therapy with Heather if I stayed in the city, and I had formed a great bond with her. Sometimes it was hard to remember that she was my counselor and not my friend. I knew at some point I would be leaving both her and Houston to rejoin the band in Austin, but I thought another six weeks with her rather than starting over with a new therapist would be the best thing for me.

That night after dinner, several of the other patients that I had become friends with all stopped by my room to hang out for a while. Someone asked me what the first thing I was going to do when I got out was, and my reply was go to McDonalds. After everyone laughed a bit, they each began talking about what they couldn’t wait to do. Answers ranged from seeing friends to apologizing to parents to having sex until it got to one girl, Andi, who said, “I never want to leave.” The response stunned me, so I immediately asked why. “There’s nothing out there for me. My family doesn’t want me and I don’t have many real friends, so there’s really no where for me to go that’s not going to lead me right back here again,” she said matter-of-factly with a shrug.