Enough to Miss Christmas

"It was a secret, like I said." Her statement was spoken without a preamble. "I never know how to deal with secrets."

"Do you have a lot of them?"

"Some."

"You know you can share them with me, but it's okay to hold on to secrets too. We all have a few."

"Which ones should you keep and which ones do you reveal?"

"A good example is your diary. That's your secret." She nodded and I continued. "It's a special place, just for you."

"Some of it's silly; more embarrassing than secret like this one is."

"Secrets take a lot of thought. If you relate it, you must be extra sure you can trust the person to whom you confide it. Remember, you may think you're making it a secret to them but they may turn around and do the same thing to someone else. Then it may still be called a secret but in the name only if lots of people know it."

"I think that's what's happening. Everyone makes everyone else promise not to tell and then they go and blab."

"It sounds like a well-known secret to me."

"Most of it is."

"But part of it isn't?"

"The scary part isn't. I may be the only one who knows that."

I was beginning to get nervous. I gave my daughter a few minutes then said, "Care to confide? You know you can trust me."

She too took her time answering. "Maybe I'll tell you the main part."

"You'll tell me about the secret that isn't much of a secret anymore?"

"Yes. It's a girl other girls are saying is pregnant."

"Is she in your class?"

"No. She's in the next grade."

"Mary Ellen." I should have phrased it as a question but I didn't.

"You listened in on us!"

"No, I didn't. It's just what you told me was going on with her and her so-called boyfriend. It was bound to happen."

"Yeah, and it did."

"And everyone knows, or they soon will."

"I guess. Some girls laugh and talk about her being knocked up and they think it's funny. I just think of Cathy at the toy store and her little boy Nathan. She's at least seventeen. Mary Ellen is two years younger."

"It's not funny at all. It's sad for both Mary Ellen and the baby." Then I asked, "Is there more of the secret the other's don't know?" She snuggled against the car door and nodded. "Like the name of the father?" I asked.

"They all know that. Nobody likes him. They don't much like Mary Ellen either. I guess that's why they make fun of her. I told Julie and Anne it was mean. I thought they'd get mad at me for saying it, but they didn't. Even if they don't like her, they both feel bad for the baby."