Enough to Miss Christmas

"You don't like her!"

"No, it's. . ."

"What about honesty? Admit it. You don't like her!"

"Okay, I don't like a lot of things about Mary Ellen. I don't know her well enough to say I don't like her as a person but I do think her actions are stupid."

"She says she loves him. She's fifteen."

"Having sex at the age of fifteen is certainly stupid. You're a very smart girl Karen; maybe even brilliant, and I bet you know what I'm saying is true. Look; a one-year-old child has no business eating a banana split, an eighty year old guy shouldn't go skydiving or a fifteen-year-old shouldn't be fucking." Karen was stunned.

"Sorry," I said immediately. "It just slipped; soldier talk again. I never should have said that in front of a child . . ."

Karen put her hands to her ears and tried to flee from the chair but I held her tightly. I repeated my apology but she began to cry.

"What's a matter, Hon? I'm sorry. It's a horrible way to describe sex and a nasty word."

"I didn't know what it meant," she said through her tears.

I was stunned. "God, I'm sorry. I never thought you wouldn't have heard it . . . somewhere."

"I heard it. Some boys said it, and Julie covered up her ears so I knew it was bad. I just didn't know what it meant."

Hardly a day passed that I wasn't reminded of the limits of this child's education, the voids resulting from her near-convent upbringing. Why did this surprise me? I sighed as I considered how to continue. "I guess I have to give you a little lesson on improper words and dirty language."

She put her hands back over her ears. "Don't! I don't want to hear them!"

I pulled her closer. "Think how Julie knew enough not to like what she heard that boy say. I bet you were embarrassed you didn't know why she reacted the way she did."

"I guess."

"Remember what I said about knowledge when we were discussing using the computer?" She nodded. "There's no harm in being informed about anything; it comes down to how you use or abuse that information. You don't have to embrace the words, God, I hope you won't! Just know their definition enough to understand why they are improper. You'd feel awful if you said something totally out of line simply because you were ignorant of its meaning, wouldn't you?"

She nodded. "Do you have to say them out loud?"

"No. I could write them out but I'm not going to take the time. Besides, we wouldn't want a list like that floating around, would we? This discussion is just between us girls. There are lots of words and expressions and if you forget any definitions, you can ask anytime. Consider it part of our pact, okay? Just don't tell your father, or brag to your friends."