Embrace Me at Dawn (Doomsday Brethren #5)
Page 20Bloody hell, why was she fighting herself? No more. She refused to keep on. Consequences be damned.
Anka took those last two steps, peeling the tank top off her body and throwing it across the room. Lucan took in her lacy bra and all her pale skin with hot eyes. He sucked in a breath, then wrapped an arm around her, yanking her against him. She hissed as their bare skin met with an electric tingle that shuddered down her spine.
Tossing her head back, she stared into those blue eyes of his, always so expressive and tender—except now. Desire pounded her from that gaze, unrelenting. An answering hunger consumed her and made everything between her legs throb.
He tugged on her braid until he positioned her face directly under his, her lips inches away. “Last chance. You want to stop?”
Did she want to let Lucan go? Did she want to keep giving Mathias power over her life?
“No.”
She raised up on her toes again and slammed her lips over his. With a groan, he opened and took her mouth once more, eating at her like a starving man. He wound her braid around his fist with one hand. The other cupped her cheek. Both hands kept her exactly where he wanted her with no room to back away. As she curled her tongue around his in a frantic push, she assured him that she wasn’t going anywhere.
That’s all it took before he clawed her bra off, leaving her heavy breasts free, before he curled desperate fingers into the waistband of her pants and shoved. The leather was skin tight, unmoving. He growled into her mouth and snapped his fingers. Her pants were gone. So were his clothes.
He heaved her up and carried her to the thick mat across the room, then shoved her on her back, settling between her spread legs. He broke the kiss to stare into her eyes again. Checking on her? Wanting confirmation? She curled her fingers, rubbing her knuckles against his cheek. It felt good, like something she’d done a million times in her past life. But she wasn’t that woman anymore, and she didn’t want him gently now. She wanted him to take her. She wanted to close her eyes and pretend that she still belonged to him, that he was claiming her in the rough, primal way of a man in love, determined to possess his woman in every sense possible.
Anka gripped his shoulders and dug her nails into his skin until he stiffened. His eyes narrowed before a little smile floated across his mouth. Then he snapped again, and her arms were magically pinned to the mat above her head. She couldn’t move, couldn’t stop her breath from hitching as Lucan loomed closer, closer…
His lips met her neck, his tongue laving her collarbone, then his teeth nipped down to her breast. She arched up to him, and her nipple slid into his mouth. Even though he only sucked in the hard tip of her breast, it was like his hot embrace encompassed her entire body. Her breath caught, and she yanked against the invisible bonds, trying to pull her hands from the mat and slide them into his hair.
Lucan didn’t heed her struggles. Instead, he merely worked the nipple deep and slow, sucking, biting gently, and sending a million tingles scattering through her body, along with her logic.
His fingertips traced a line down her ribs, over her waist, down to her hip. She stiffened. Would he notice the edges of the scars there? Would he feel them?
“What’s wrong, love? You’ve gone tense.”
“Faster,” she demanded. She needed it. Her body burned for it. She didn’t want to deal with what he might find on her body now, only with the pleasure he drizzled over her like warm syrup with every single touch. “More.”
“It seems like I’ve waited a lifetime for this. I want to relish this and explore you. I don’t want to hurt you.”
He was going to treat her like a china doll again? Of course he was. That’s what he wanted. That’s what he’d always want.
“Anka… Love, I simply want to be careful with you. You’ve been hurt.”
“And I’ve healed. I’m a woman, not a breakable trinket.”
He shook his head, jaw clenched. Was he beating himself up? Frustrated with her lack of ladylike behavior? Whatever. He released her with a sigh.
She was done trying to do and be someone she wasn’t. Now he was going to see the real her.
The moment her hands were free, she shoved at his shoulders, pushed him to his back, and straddled him, her thighs around his abdomen. She gripped his wrists and held them to the mat, then slid her hips down. Her wet folds spread down his abdomen until the thick jut of his cock speared her. Then his wide, blunt tip pierced her. His eyes widened as she shifted lower, lower, lower until she seated him completely inside her. She threw back her head and moaned at the blinding ecstasy of feeling Lucan filling her again.
He raised his hips to her with a deep groan. “Anka… God, yes!” His eyes drifted shut for a long moment, then flashed open as he gripped her tight. “Just like this. I’ve wanted you so badly.”
“I need this. Give it to me.”
With wild, almost frantic gyrations, she speared his hard cock inside her over and over, no rhythm, no technique, just feeling him as deep inside her as she could. He held back, passively allowing her this feral mating. He stretched her so perfectly. She’d been made for him. Having him deep inside her was like being home again. Sun and warmth and the sense of belonging she’d missed stole over her, and if she closed her eyes, she could almost believe that nothing terrible had ever happened between them.
As Lucan wrenched his hands free and wrapped them around her hips, he took control of her thrusts, his fingers pressing again over the scars that hadn’t been there before. The truth all came flooding back to her. But he didn’t stop or question or pause. Lucan simply spread his legs apart and pressed his hips up, pounding into her with sure, deep thrusts. His fingers bit into her skin as he controlled her body. She might have started this and she might be on top, but he took over so effortlessly and gave her every bit of his passion.
“You look incredible.” His gaze caressed her mouth, her tingling hard nipples, the long line of her torso and her bare folds. “Like every dream I’ve had for months.”
And with words like that, he was going to work his way back into her heart. If he’d ever left it. She couldn’t stand to be near him and yet sometimes she simply wanted to hear his voice so badly she wept… Nothing made sense anymore. The hurricane her emotions had become swept away her logic altogether.
Now, Lucan was her only anchor.
“Stop. Don’t say anything more.” Because if he did, she would only cry.
Lucan pulled her down until her chest rested against his and held her tight as he filled her in deep, sure strokes, slowly taking her apart as pleasure filled her with a glorious, tight tingle.
“I can’t keep this to myself, Anka. I’ve never made any secret of the fact that I miss you.”
Impossible not to sink into him after that. Everything about him was so dear, and now she could only remember all the reasons she’d fallen for him. She’d adored his tenderness once. Now she ached for it with every nerve in her body—even as she knew it would unravel her completely.
Up and down her back his hands trailed, tracing the raised lines that hadn’t been there before her abduction. Now he knew. God, he knew. Yet another imperfection revealed to him, and everything inside her clenched. She wanted him so badly, but couldn’t stand being less than perfect in his eyes. Hell, she really didn’t make any sense.
Thrashing madly, she shoved away from him, forcing his hands off her back. She got to her knees and stood, dislodging his hard length from inside her clinging flesh. Heaving deep breaths, she stood over him and shook her head, then searched frantically for her clothes. This was a mistake, letting him get this close.
As she backed away, he rose and stalked toward her, hard cock glistening with her juices, an angry red that demanded her attention. “Come back here now.”
She shook her head insistently. “Forget it. We’re done.”
“You don’t want sex, fine. We don’t have sex. But I want to look at your back.”
“Fuck you.”
His eyes narrowed. “You’ve never said that word before. That’s twice in one day.”
“Why the fuck do you care?” Maybe if she could misdirect him, he’d be so annoyed by her behavior, he’d forget the scars.
“I never stopped caring,” he said softly.
While she blinked at him, took those words in, he lunged at her, grabbed her wrist, then pulled her closer. A moment of hesitation, that’s all it had taken. But the cost was fatal, she knew that as soon as he grabbed her shoulders, turned her, and shoved her to her knees on the mat. With a snap, the lights in the room flared so bright they were nearly blinding white. She blinked away the tears burning her eyes. She could struggle now, but why? The damage was done. She couldn’t hide anymore.
“Dear God.” His voice shook.
And she knew what he was looking at, the mass of pink lines crisscrossing her back, each representing an angry flay that Mathias had taken out of her skin with his favorite whip. He’d enjoyed her blood, her pain, her begging. Eventually, she’d learned to shut up, but not quickly enough to avoid the scars. He’d drained her energy completely for days so her body couldn’t heal properly. Then he’d forced so much energy into her with every ravaging thrust that she’d feared she’d go mad.
She bowed her head and sobbed.
“Stay with me, Anka,” Lucan commanded softly. “Come back to the here and now. Don’t let your thoughts leave me, love.”
“My back is ugly.”
“It’s you, and you could never be ugly.” He knelt behind her, and his lips touched her mangled skin.
“Damn it. Stop!” she protested. “You can’t do this. There is no us anymore. I’m no longer your responsibility. Let me go!”
He brushed a soft hand down her back. His lips followed, then his soft tongue traced the same path. “I’m so sorry you went through this. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m here now.”
“It doesn’t matter!” she screamed. “Everything has changed. I can’t be that perfect girl anymore. And now you know. So what the fuck ever. Where are my clothes?” She looked around for them.
She needed to get out of here, away from him. Before she completely broke down and sobbed for all the love she would never have again and didn’t deserve, for never being what he wanted and needed. That was never truer than now.
Lucan clutched a hand around her nape and forced her back to her knees on the mat. “Stay right there. Do not move, Anka.” The deep timbre in his voice, the hint of sensual threat, made her gasp. He meant business. “Do you hear me?”
Chapter Eight
Lucan waited, holding his breath. Anka was finally talking to him, opening up about what was in her head, her heart. That could only be good for both of them. He knew at least some of what had befallen her at Mathias’s hands. But the knowledge made him want to kneel beside her and weep.
For her sake, he couldn’t. She needed his strength. He’d already let her down in so many ways. He couldn’t fail her again. Though he wanted to think about everything he’d just learned so he could decide how to cope with the guilt of her pain, she needed him now. That was far more important.
With one hand clamped down on her neck, the other pushing her hair away from her face, he lowered himself to her side, then tucked a finger under her chin to raise it. Her amber eyes pleaded. Her lips trembled. His heart burst into a million pieces. God, he’d do anything for this woman.
“Talk to me, Anka.”
“No. Let me go.”
She sounded so damn defeated that it broke his heart. He shook his head. “No. I’ve done that once. I won’t do it again.”
“I’m not your problem.”
Anka, regardless of what she thought, was his mate. One kiss, and that certainty had roared through him. He’d wanted nothing more than to put his mouth all over her and drink her in before reciting the words that would bind him to her once more.
He bit his tongue and held back the words. She wasn’t ready for that. Anka had a great deal of emotional healing to do. They had to repair the trust between them. Lucan vowed to do whatever it took and be there with her every step of the way.
“You’re right. You aren’t my problem because you’re not a problem at all. You’re a tender woman who had the misfortune to be attacked by someone terrible, bent on hurting you to destroy me. You endured and survived. I’m proud of you for that. The fact that you’re here with me warms my heart. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in months. Your scars aren’t you.” He lowered his hand to cover her heart. “This is. What’s in here makes you the special woman you are. Trust me to help you.”