Eighth Grave After Dark

“Cimmanom,” Ashley said, disappointed we weren’t having a slumber party.

“Aunt Charley needs to rest,” Bianca said, taking her hand when Amador set her down.

“We can rest together,” she argued.

I’d spoiled her with our movie nights, not that I regretted a second of it.

“We watch movies while Uncle Reyes makes cockporn.”

Everyone in the immediate area stilled while Reyes and I pressed our mouths together, trying not to crack up. This was a serious situation, and cracking up now would just be wrong.

“Popcorn, honey,” Amador said. Then he looked at Bianca. “Hon, she really needs to learn how to say that word.”

My laughter came out as more of a snort. I coughed to cover it up. Reyes just turned his head, unable to lose the grin.

“I’ve tried,” Bianca said, flustered. “Tell you what, we’ll go to McDonald’s when we get home. How does that sound?”

That was a pretty big deal. Bianca did not believe in feeding her children fast food.

“Yay!” Stephen said as he ran up, zigzagged, feigned a left turn, took a right before circling the parental units and shooting off in the opposite direction. Reyes caught him just as he sped past. He giggled as he was lifted high into the air, then brought back down into Reyes’s arms. “I’m going to be fast like you,” he told Reyes.

“I bet your dad’s faster,” he said.

Amador scoffed playfully. “Don’t even start with that crap. I learned my lesson long ago.”

Bianca tickled Stephen’s bare foot. “If we’re going to McDonald’s, you’ll have to put your shoes on.”

Stephen had never been a big fan of shoes. Or socks. Or clothes in general. He’d once escaped from his house in his skivvies. They found him running down the street, telling anyone who would listen that his mother had been abducted by aliens.

“I don’t like those shoes,” he said, wiggling into the crook of Reyes’s neck to get away from his mother while she tried to slip his socks onto him.

“Do you remember what the sign at McDonald’s says when you go in? ‘No bare feet.’”

He stopped wiggling and looked at her as though she’d lost her mind. “I’m not a bear.”

I fought yet another giggle.

“He has a point,” Reyes said.

“Yeah, laugh it up, pendejo,” Amador volleyed. “Your time is coming.”

“I can hardly wait,” Reyes said to me.

We hugged good-bye, my heart full of hopes and dreams for Beep. Watching Reyes with Ashley and Stephen was one of the highlights of my life. I couldn’t wait to see how he’d behave with Beep. If she was half as charming as Amador and Bianca’s kids—

Then the truth hit me. I looked down at Beep, then over at Reyes. She would have him wrapped around her little finger in no time. “We could be in trouble.”

He laughed and pulled me into his arms. “I have no doubt,” he said, walking me to a dark corner of the kitchen.

I giggled when he pressed himself into me. Gasped when he bent to nibble an earlobe. “I’m the size of Nevada. How can you even want me?”

“I happen to love Nevada,” he countered, his voice as deep and soft as his kisses.

If it weren’t for the lady standing right beside us, the moment would have been perfect.

“You are the oldest soul I’ve ever come across,” she said, astonished as she gazed at me, her eyes unblinking.

“Um, thank you?” I said as Reyes lifted his head at last.

I looked over at the woman. She wore an outdated floral dress and had clearly forgone a bra. She really needed the support a bra could offer her. I’d seen her piddling about, looking in our drawers when she thought no one was paying attention. I was certain she’d gone through the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.

“You’re ancient.”

That wasn’t offensive at all. I straightened. “I’m only—”

“You are older than the stardust in the sky,” she said, interrupting. Her eyes were glassed over, and I decided right then and there, no more open bars at weddings. Brought out the crazies.

Reyes stepped out of my arms then, as though something outside had caught his attention, and said, “I have to go check on Artemis.”

“Artemis?” I asked, baffled. Since when did he have to check on a departed dog? Seriously, what kind of trouble could she get into?

“You are as old as time itself.”

“Look,” I said, growing frustrated, “that’s just not something a girl wants to hear.”

“You are older than—”

“Wow, you know what?” I said as I led her back into the kitchen where Denise was cleaning up. “There’s even more champagne in here. Don’t let anyone try to convince you we’re out. You call ’em on it, okay?”

Cookie walked in then, a horrified expression on her face.

“Lucille, why don’t you go find Uncle Tommy? He’s been looking for you.”

“Oh, my,” said the woman, rushing back outside.

“I am so sorry,” Cookie said. “Lucille won’t bother you again. Uncle Tommy has been gone for decades. She’ll never find him.”

“Oh, no. How did he die?”

“Oh, he didn’t die. He just packed up one night and left to live in the wilds of Alaska. We still get a postcard every few years.”