Echoes of Scotland Street

The paramedics had taken Elodie to the hospital; her husband, Hannah, Declan, Ellie, Braden, and their partners and kids took off after them. The kids were crying because they knew something bad had happened, and their parents were trying to keep it together for their sake.

The rest of us were left behind.

Cole was silent.

He was silent when Jo suggested we go home and she’d contact us with any news. He was silent all the way to his flat in the taxi. He’d been silent for the last fifteen minutes.

I’d known he was close to the Nicholses; I just hadn’t realized the depth of his attachment until now. He was frightened for Elodie and I knew I couldn’t ease those fears even if I tried.

“Can I get you anything?”

He shook his head.

“She’ll be okay,” I whispered, hoping I was right.

“You don’t know that,” he replied. “My mum had a heart attack. She didn’t make it.”

“Elodie’s not your mum.”

“Yeah,” he snorted, sounding bitter. “I know that. That’s why this is f**king worse.”

Not understanding I whispered his name in question.

His green eyes found mine and I flinched at the pain in them. My hand automatically reached for his. “Elodie Nichols is everything my mother never was. A real mum. A great mum. Kind and compassionate. Loyal. She adds people to her family like it’s something everyone does, like it’s no big deal to open your home to a stranger.”

Seeing the tears in his eyes, I felt a thickness in my throat, and answering tears burned in my own eyes. “What was your mum like?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know, but I definitely knew I needed to know.

He exhaled heavily and turned to look back up at the ceiling. “Selfish. Bitter. A drunk.”

I squeezed his hand tighter, and his fingers bit into my skin in response.

“Growing up, she was never there for me. Jo always took care of me, making sure I was washed and clothed and fed. Making sure I had everything I needed for school. Mum’s drinking got gradually worse, especially when we moved from Glasgow to Edinburgh.”

“You’re from Glasgow?” I said, surprised.

He nodded. “I don’t remember my dad. He was put away for armed robbery when I was about two. I did know he wasn’t a nice guy, because as I got older I finally got some attention from my mum. But not good attention.”

I felt sick suddenly.

“I was about thirteen, nearly fourteen, and I looked a lot older. I was as tall as Jo by the time I was fourteen.” He shot me a sad grin. “I was a total geek. Didn’t go anywhere unless it was to my mate’s house to play video games or work on the comics we created.”

I smiled. “You sound adorable.”

“I was really shy.” His smile slipped. “I was worried all the time. Jo worked her arse off trying to make ends meet because our mum was a bedridden alcoholic by this point. We were always picking her up off the kitchen floor, cleaning up her vomit . . . Anyway, Jo tried to protect me, but that just made me worry about how much pressure she was under. And she was always dating these men that had money and I knew why. I just felt like shit . . . I wished I was older so I could help, you know.”

I reached over and stroked his cheek, fighting tears of compassion.

“We had all this going on and other kids my age just seemed so immature. It made me isolate myself a bit until I was pretty socially awkward.”

“I can’t even imagine that.” I swear my heart clenched in my chest for him.

“It didn’t help that Mum had gotten abusive. I tried to hide it from Jo because I didn’t want her to have to deal with it . . . and I was ashamed.”

I couldn’t stop the tears now. “Cole?”

He looked at me, countenance grim. “She said I was like him. My dad. That I was worthless, that I was nothing. And she’d hit me. Not once did I hit her back, though. I wasn’t like him. I was never going to be like him.”

I swallowed a sob of compassion and guilt. “And I said . . . I said that—”

“Shh.” Cole frowned and wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face in his throat and started to cry for everything he’d been through and for what I’d put him through. “Sweetheart, shh, you’re killing me here.”

“I’m sorry,” I hiccupped, desperately attempting to control myself.

He rubbed my back. “Put that out of your mind. For good.”

“I didn’t mean it.”

“I know.” He eased me back so I could see the truth in his eyes. “Shannon, I know. It’s not the same, but I get what it’s like to have someone that’s supposed to love you make you feel small and worthless. To have them hurt you with careless violence. I know. And that means I know exactly why you have your defenses up so high.” He brushed my tears with his thumb. “You’re a good person. You are nothing like her. She made it really difficult to love her, and she left me with a whole lot of guilt about that.”

I sniffled. “Did Jo find out? About her hitting you.”

“Actually Cam did. He was our neighbor. He found out and told Jo. Well, he thought Jo knew and he gave her a rollicking about it and devastated her, so I gave him a rollicking and he worked his arse off to make it up to her. He changed everything for us. We owe him a lot.”

“And your dad?”

Cole’s face darkened. “He used to beat up Jo when she was a kid. Mick found out and beat the shit out of him and he left. Not long after, he ended up in prison.” His hand tightened on my waist. “He came back when I fourteen. He was trying to blackmail Jo. Said that if she didn’t give him money he would come for me, take me away.”

“Oh my God.”

“Jo tried to keep him from me, tried so hard he got her alone and attacked her as a warning that time was running out.”

There were no words for how shocked I was by all these revelations. I would never have known there was this much darkness in Cole’s past. “She really loves you,” I whispered, tearing up again but this time with gratitude and respect for Cole’s sister.

“Oh yeah.” He grinned, but I could see the overwhelming emotion in his eyes. “She’s a warrior when it comes to me. Always has been. Belle is the luckiest little girl in the world.”

I smiled in agreement before forcing myself to ask, “What happened with your dad?”

“Jo went to Joss and Braden. Braden rounded up Cam and Mick and the three of them took care of it. I didn’t ask and I don’t want to know what happened. All I know is that they protected us and we’ve never heard from that man again.”

He turned suddenly so he was leaning over me, his eyes blazing with passion that held me rooted, frozen beneath him. With trembling hands he brushed my hair from my face. “That’s why you have to know that I won’t ever hurt you like that. Ever. You have to believe that, Shannon.” He leaned down, his lips hovering over mine, and his next words were whispered across my mouth in a plea. “Please believe that.”

Staring up into his gorgeous face and his kind eyes, I felt the memories of the last weeks assaulting me. His patience, his kindness, his compassion, his steadfastness . . . all of it was so much bigger than the hot, cocky, confident tattooist the rest of the world saw.

And like with a hit to the chest, I was winded by the realization that I did believe him.

I believed him.

Scared but needing to reassure him more than I needed to assure myself, I slid my hands around his neck and pressed my mouth against his for a slow, sweet kiss. When I broke it, I stared him straight in the eye and said with a fierceness that surprised even me, “You are not nothing. You are wonderful. Everyone who meets you can’t help adoring you—”

“Shannon—”

“You inspire loyalty in people for a reason, Cole, and your mother was the one that lost out here. She missed out on loving a really, really cool kid.” I smiled through my tears. “And a smart, good man. Don’t feel guilty because you feel more for Elodie Nichols than you did for your mother. Elodie deserves your love. By all accounts your mum never did.”

He shuddered against me, burying his face in my neck and wrapping his arms tight around me.

I held on to him, pouring my love into him, despite all my fears screaming at me not to. “I believe you, Cole,” I whispered. “I believe you.”

Somehow he managed to press his body even closer to me in answer.

CHAPTER 17

I awakened, taking in Cole blearily as he sat up in bed. “Any news?”

The worry in his voice brought me fully into consciousness, the emotional saga of the day hitting me in the chest. The sound of Cole’s phone ringing had woken us both. I shuffled into a sitting position, glancing at his bedside clock. It was eleven o’clock at night. After he had confided in me about his family history, I managed to convince him to eat something. Then we’d both curled up on his bed again and fallen asleep.

“But she’s okay?” he whispered into his phone. I wrapped my arm around him. Cole slid his free arm around my shoulders and hugged me close. I felt his muscles tense. He was silent as the person on the other end of the line answered. “Okay . . . yeah. Thanks, Jo. Speak soon . . . Yeah, you too.” He hung up and glanced down at me.

“That was good news?”

He exhaled. “Elodie had a heart attack.”

“Oh God.” I gripped his arm tighter.

“It’s okay.” He clasped my hand. “They did something . . . angioplasty? It removed a blockage. There’s not too much damage to her heart, so they think she’s going to be okay.”

I was relieved for Elodie, and for Cole and the rest of the family. I hadn’t been around them all a lot, but it didn’t take a genius to realize Elodie was the matriarch of their tribe. “That’s good news.”

He nodded, but the melancholy that had been entrenched in his gaze earlier that day remained. Staring into his gorgeous, soulful eyes, I was overwhelmed by my need to make him happy.

Easing myself over him until I straddled him, I grasped his face in my hands and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. “It’s moments like these that remind us just how fleeting it all is.” My hand dropped to his right arm and I caressed the eagle and the pocket watch with my fingertips. “I grew up listening to music, reading books, and watching films that all kept telling me how much we take time for granted. The warning started to lose meaning. And unfortunately it’s only ever when we’re faced with our own mortality that we remember that the world is telling us ‘life is short’ because it’s the truth.” I looked deep into his eyes and felt that connection between us reach out and plunge straight into my chest. I felt breathless, a little light-headed. Scared. “I can’t make promises to you, Cole. Not yet. I really wish I could. But I can try to get there. I want to try to make this work.” I smiled, feeling shy and overwhelmed. “I want this to be a relationship.”

Something brightened in Cole’s eyes, pushing back at the melancholy. He smoothed his hands up my spine, drawing me closer. “Are you saying you want to be my girlfriend?” His voice was gruff, almost teasing.

I leaned into him and whispered against lips, “Are you saying you want me to be your girlfriend?”

“Fuck yeah,” he whispered back, and pressed his mouth to mine.

*   *   *

Although Cole said he wanted me to come with him when he visited Elodie in the hospital, I convinced him otherwise. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to support him or show Elodie I was thinking of her. It was because I didn’t feel it was my place yet. I barely knew Elodie, and her heart attack had dredged up so much for Cole. I thought it would be better for him to have some time alone with her.

He visited the hospital the next evening carrying a bouquet of flowers I’d chosen.

Seeing Elodie for himself, getting reassurance that she was going to be all right, took away the grim aspect that had crept into Cole, and as soon as he returned from the hospital to his flat where I was waiting for him, I felt the immediate uplifted change in him. Cole was back to himself again except more. He was even happier than before and I was giddy yet equally terrified that this was because I’d promised to try something serious with him.

I didn’t intend to let that fear control me, however, and I threw myself with a weird kind of trepidation wholly into this new stage of our relationship. It was in my nature to be openly affectionate with a partner, and so with some difficulty I let that part of me out.

I liked hugs and kisses and holding hands.

Thankfully Cole seemed to like all those things too and he went with the change in my behavior without saying a word.

On Wednesday during lunch break we’d locked ourselves in his room and gotten up to no good on his tattoo chair. I was still all hot and bothered a few hours later when he came out of the room with a customer and approached the desk to pay.

“That’s sixty pounds, please,” I said to the tall, lanky guy who had so many tattoos I was surprised they’d found space for a new one.

The guy grinned at me and handed me his card.

As I processed the payment Cole said, “I promised Hannah I’d watch Sophia tomorrow, but I want you at my place for dinner at eight p.m.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “Was there a question in there?”

He smoldered. “Please will you join me for dinner, Shannon?”

Oh boy.

I nodded in acquiescence.

“Dude, she’s yours?” the customer asked Cole, who didn’t deign to answer. “Dude!” The guy nudged Cole in the elbow in a “you da man” kind of way.