East

This hurts so bad. My chest was tight and aching, and the pain inside me was the kind that would never go away. At times, I still felt it from the death of my parents. "Do it for Batu." I drew a shaky breath and tucked the phone and Moldavite away.

I left my home and listlessly made my way towards the small hill where I'd once had lunch with Ghoajin, Suvdin and the other women. Wherever Carter sent me next, whatever he did to me, I'd never forgive him for this, never stop loving Batu, and never, ever let myself grow attached to anyone else.

Ascending the hill, I found the pill beneath the stone. Sitting back on my heels, I gazed out over the encampment that had grown to ten times its original size from the influx of clans migrating south for the brutal Mongolian winter.

Batu was there somewhere, maybe looking for me, or possibly trying to negotiate with Carter.

I knew what he didn't: there was no negotiating with Carter, and we would never see each other again. If I didn't do this, Carter would kill him. Knowing Batu lived through this meant more to me than signing his death warrant by staying.

I bent over in physical pain from the idea of losing Batu and reminded myself incessantly that this was the only way Carter was going to let him live.

"I hate you, Carter," I whispered again and stared at the pill in my hand. Tears splashed onto my palm. "And I love you, Batu. More than life, more than anything. Stay alive and find happiness. I will always be your Moonbeam."

Not giving myself the chance to back out, I swallowed the pill and washed it down with water.

It acted quickly. Darkness swept through me, and I sagged, tumbling away from my emotions into unconsciousness.