East

"Because I feel … helpless. Useless. I'm not part of your world, Batu, and I am unprepared to be here, but I realize now I'm here for good. I can't go back to my home. I don't want to be a burden to you, and I don't want to die. So I'm stuck in this weird place."

He tilted his head to the side. "This is madness, goddess! Why does the lark sing or the deer leap?" he asked. "It is in their nature to do so, and we do not ask them why. It is not in your nature to hunt or skin animals or draw a bow. You are still part of this world. You should not question yourself this way. You are no burden to me."

He meant it. I didn't know how I was anything but a burden to someone like him, but his features were clear and dark gaze sincere. If anything, he was amused by my crisis.

His answer soothed me some. I sat down on the other side of the fire. He returned to his skinning and gutting, and I watched. He led a fairly simple life. He never asked why something happened or failed to roll with the punches. His outlook was grounded and very much in the present, while I felt like I had to find the deeper meaning in everything or uncover how today fit into the big picture of the overarching plan for my destiny.

I preferred his perception of the world. Grateful for today, unconcerned about tomorrow, Batu was the epitome of how my yoga instructor said we all should be.

Aside from the killing and the fact he's not vegan, I added mentally.

He had a way of calming my anxiety and grounding me, too, and he was definitely not bad to look at.

Maybe … he was what I should be like. Maybe I should notice the gorgeous stream or the grassy steppes stretching out to meet the sky and how far I could see instead of the internal agitation that had me running in circles tormented about why here, why now, why me.

Which wasn't like me. Before my first journey through time, I was very laid back and capable of going with the flow. The Old West was eye opening in so many ways, a growing experience unlike any I had been prepared for.

I wanted to let go of all that, though, the emotions and doubt and fear and everything else that sent me into a tailspin or prevented me from moving forward.

"I have languages," I murmured.

"A great skill indeed. You can barter with traders, command our enemies to submit, and speak to all of the Empire's peoples."