Down and Dirty
Page 22Anger burned in the pit of his gut and he let it rip. “You said that before, you know. That night in Atlantic City. Like you think this was some spur-of-the-moment thing for me. Like you fucked me right that first night, and now I’m pussy-whipped and decided we should be together forever.”
She ignored him, scrambling desperately to gather her stuff from the floor, but he pressed on.
“That’s so far from the truth. I came back here for you, Cat. Because I’ve always known we’d make a great couple. Since we were teenagers. I was just waiting for you to grow up and realize it, too.”
She was already out the door when he called after her.
“My mistake was thinking you ever would.”
Chapter Thirteen
Cat revved the snowmobile hard and gave Galen a gloved thumbs-up when he looked back to see if she was set to go. She was more than ready for their trek up the little mountain. Maybe it would clear her head. Nothing else had lately. Hell, who was she kidding? The only thing that could clear her head today would be a lobotomy. Because today? Today, Shane was going back to California.
An ache settled in her chest, so heavy it took her breath away.
She’d found out the day before, entirely by accident, when she’d run into his mother at the grocery store. Lacey had seen him over the past two weeks, but according to her friend, Shane hadn’t said a word about leaving. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to explain to anyone why he’d had a change of heart, but she knew why.
She swallowed the lump in her throat that seemed almost constant lately. Every time she thought of him, she found herself close to tears.
She watched dispassionately as her brother shot forward, heading up the gleaming white hill. Hitting the gas, she lurched forward and started at a steady clip a short distance behind him. The sun glinted off the hard-packed snow and made the whole place shimmer like it had been frosted in crushed diamonds.
But even the stunning view barely penetrated the fog of despair.
This was the first time she’d left her house except to go to work since she’d seen Shane last. She was already two weeks behind on her designs, and if she didn’t get some inspiration and start producing soon, she was going to be in serious trouble. Everything seemed just a little less important now than it had before, and she wondered what would happen if she didn’t turn in her pieces. And forget checking things off her bucket list. All the adventures she’d planned over the rest of her vacation had paled in comparison to the reality of being with Shane.
It was those kinds of observations that had Lacey clucking around her like a mother hen. Cat could tell how relieved her friend had been when she’d agreed to this outing. She seemed hopeful that it signaled that Cat was coming out of her funk, but in fact, placating Lacey and Galen had really been the only reason Cat had gone.
Shit was so far from okay.
Still, she vowed to squeeze some peace out of the day. Lacey had stayed behind at the Thomas lake house and was working on a chicken potpie for their lunch. It had been years since they’d gone snowmobiling, and at the very least, maybe she could turn her brain off for a while and not hurt for a change. No matter how much she wanted to be with Shane, it didn’t change the fact that eventually, she’d wind up resenting him if she allowed him to change her.
She’d just taken a tight corner when a white rabbit shot out in front of her. Her heart leaped from her chest and, instinctively, she jerked the handlebars hard to the right to avoid it. She recognized her mistake instantly, but it was too late. The pine stump loomed as she plowed toward it, almost in slow motion. The impact shook every bone in her body, and then she was airborne. Over the handlebars, flying. Her arms pinwheeled and she scrambled for purchase, but the ground came up fast. She braced herself, covering her head with her arms.
She landed a like a sack of stones a dozen feet away and nausea swept over her. Her ears buzzed like a thousand bees were descending. Dimly, she heard the growl of the other engine coming closer. Galen would flip if he saw her like this. She rolled to her side and tried to stand, to let him know she was okay, but a shooting pain raced up her leg and she fell back in a crumpled heap.
Well, shit.
An hour and a half later, after a humiliating ride back to the cottage on the back of Galen’s snowmobile, she lay sprawled on a hospital bed in a paper-thin gown, waiting for the ER doctor to come back with her X-ray results. Truth was, she didn’t need any results to tell her she’d broken her ankle. Again.
The ache was persistent, and the antiseptic smell of the room was making her nauseous. She closed her eyes in an attempt to meditate. Hopefully it was just a hairline fracture and wouldn’t need setting.
When her lids fluttered opened a few minutes later, she found herself staring at a pretty blonde woman in scrubs giving her a cool smile. At first she didn’t recognize her, but then it clicked.
Courtney Lockhart DeLollis from MeetMyMate.com. Fabulous.
“Hey, there. How’s that ankle feeling?”
“Not awesome,” she admitted. How petty that the pain of seeing Courtney manage to look attractive in her olive-green, ill-fitting scrubs was far more acute than the pain in her leg.
“I can imagine. Is Shane here?” Courtney asked, taking the blood pressure cuff from its housing on the wall.
“No, we’re…not together.”
“I knew that, sorry.” She wrapped the cuff around Cat’s arm and pumped it up, pressing the stethoscope against the inside of her elbow. “I just saw Lacey and everyone else in the waiting room and wondered if he’d been there, too.” The air hissed from the apparatus, and Courtney was silent for a moment before taking the stethoscope from her ears.
“No. I haven’t seen him.” She bit her tongue to keep from adding, “Have you?”
Courtney handed her a glass and a Dixie cup with two pills in it. “That’s just Tylenol for the pain.”
Cat took it and washed it down with the tepid water. “Thanks.”
“No, thanks. Everyone’s fussing all over me, and I just want it quiet.”
“No problem. I’ll let them know you’re doing well and will see them shortly.” She tugged the Velcro off and picked up the rest of her gear. “The doctor should be here in just a few minutes to discuss the results of your X-ray.” She paused and added in a whisper, “But between me and you, I took a peek at the film, and it’s definitely broken. Sorry.”
Cat should have cared. Having a cast was going to be damned inconvenient. Especially since she was supposed to have four prototype pieces ready for her boss to see by the end of next week. She didn’t do a whole lot of the sewing anymore, so she wasn’t worried about the foot pedal, but even getting around was going to be a pain with the bulky cast and crutches. And still, she felt only a twinge of annoyance over it. The thought of Shane leaving made everything else pale in comparison.
She looked up to see Courtney still looking down at her, a thoughtful look marring her pretty face. “We were never together, you know,” the other woman said softly. “Not before, and not now. We’re just friends, and to be honest, I haven’t even talked to him in over a week. He took this thing with you pretty hard.”
Some of the tightness in Cat’s lungs eased, and she blew out a breath, trying to keep her tone casual. “I appreciate you telling me that, but it’s really none of my business. We were never together either. Not really.”
“I know. Can I ask why?” There was no judgment in her eyes, just genuine confusion. “I have to admit, it seems so strange to me. Most people spend a lifetime trying to find someone to look at them the way you guys were looking at each other that night at Sully’s.”
Cat considered blowing her off with a fib, but found the truth pouring from her lips before she could stop it. “I think I’m better alone. I love my career, I love the path I’ve chosen. I don’t want to veer off and wind up taking someone else’s path, you know? Shane is so strong. He’s a bona fide hero. But I want to have my own life and not just be someone’s sidekick.”
“So you want a weak guy who will be yours instead?”
“No. I just want…hell, I don’t know anymore. All I know is that I don’t want to give up my whole identity the way my mother did.”
“Are you sure that’s the way your mom sees it?”
“I can’t imagine how else she could see it. She gave up the thing she loved more than anything to support my dad’s career and stay home with us.”
Courtney cocked her head and gave her a long, searching look. “Have you ever asked her how she feels about that decision?”
“No.” Nor did she want to talk about this anymore. Cat took another sip of water and cleared her throat. “I’m, uh, feeling pretty tired, so I think I’ll just close my eyes until the doctor’s ready for me.”
Courtney hesitated, but then nodded. “Okay. I’ll be back to check on you later. One last thought, though. I have years of experience with a controlling guy. The kind of guy who slowly but surely takes over your life, until you feel like you can’t even make a decision about what to wear without his help. That’s giving up your identity. What your mom did? Not the same. Now I’m terrified of giving up even a piece of myself to anyone again, and it’s taken me two years to even get up the courage to try.” She held Cat’s gaze with a frank stare. “But I think I would have tried with Shane. He’s a good man. It’s written all over his face and comes through in everything he does. You’re a fool if you let him go.” She didn’t wait for a response before she turned and walked out of the room.
Cat covered her eyes with her hands and groaned. What the hell was she going to do? It had always seemed so clear before. Avoid emotional entanglements. Since Shane, everything had been a muddy mess. She punched her pillow and had just folded it in half under her head when a familiar voice echoed down the hall.
Cat closed her eyes. Mom was here. So much for being left alone with her thoughts.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but the patient prefers to be alone for the time being.” Courtney’s tone was polite but firm.
The voice that followed was firmer. “Well that’s unfortunate, young lady, because I’m her mother, and she doesn’t have a say in the matter.”
Cat worked up a smile and sat up right before her mother barreled through the door.
“You’re getting too old for this, Mary Catherine. And frankly, so am I.” In spite of the bluster, Cat could see the worry on her face.
Courtney stood in the doorway and sent her a questioning look.
“It’s fine, she can stay, thanks,” Cat said with a nod.
When Courtney left, her mother turned back to assess her ankle with narrowed eyes. “Does it hurt badly?”
“Not too much, no. The doctor will probably put it in a temporary cast to stabilize it and then I’ll have to get it casted for real at the orthopedic surgeon’s tomorrow or the day after, depending on the swelling.”
“I’ll drive you.”
“I can drive mys—”
“I said, I’ll drive you.” Fire crackled in her mother’s green eyes and Cat knew better than to argue. “Now tell me, what happened out there? Galen said you saw a rabbit?”
“Yeah. Came out of nowhere. I guess I was distracted and before I knew it, I was ass over teakettle.”
“You’ve been riding way too long to make such a rookie mistake. You should have been more aware of your surroundings, and you never swerve for an animal if you don’t know what you’re swerving into unless it’s—”