Disillusioned

It felt as if just yesterday I was sitting in the bar with my best friend, Rosie, having a glass of wine. She’d gone to the bathroom and I’d blacked out. The next thing I’d known I was in the back of a car tied up with a strange man. A man who’d turned out to be Jakob. I hadn’t trusted him at first, but he had slowly proven himself to me, and I hadn’t been able to resist my attraction to him. Together we’d worked to figure out why we’d been kidnapped. That was what I’d believed in my heart. We’d both talked about our personal histories. I’d told him about my dad’s death and how I’d thought the rich Bradley family had had something to do with my mother’s death. He’d told me about his mother and her heartache when the man she’d loved hadn’t committed to her. And when Steve had showed up—nefarious, deceitful, smarmy Steve—I’d seen the surprise, shock, and distaste on Jakob’s face.

I thought we’d connected on a deeper level. I’d given myself to him, mind, body, and heart. I’d put my trust and faith in him. Could he have been fooling me all of this time? Could he have done this to me in the first place?

“Bianca, it’s complicated.” He bit his lower lip and his eyes narrowed again. I could see his tension in the way his shoulders were hunched up. His fists were clenched and I could see a vein throbbing in his forehead.

I took a step toward him, feeling brave in pursuit of the truth. “Why so worried? Angry that I know the truth?”

“What truth do you think you know?” He threw his hands up, and I could see his palms were still roughened from his time on the island cracking coconuts and carrying wood. “You need to trust me,” he pleaded.

“How can I trust you? You lied to me and even now you’re not telling me anything.”

“What you think you know about Mattias—well, it’s complicated.”

“You mean what I think I know about you?”

“It’s complicated, Bianca. You need to just trust me for now, please.”

“Did you have any involvement with my kidnapping?” I asked softly, and stared at him, our chests rising in unison as we stood mere yards away from one another.

“Give me your hand,” he said softly, and stretched his arms as forward as they could go.

“Why?” I shook my head, but didn’t step back. I suppose I was waiting for an answer that would make everything clearer. Something that would show me Jakob wasn’t involved in this whole mess.

“Please.”

I found myself reaching my hand forward slowly. I regretted my decision about a second later.

His fingers squeezed mine tightly and I gasped at the dart of pain that surged through me at his tight grip. “I’m sorry,” he whispered as he stared at me from the other balcony. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Bianca.”

“Then let go of me.” I tried to pull it away from him again, but he wouldn’t release me. “Please.”

“Bianca.” His voice was hoarse. “I can’t let you go.”

“Why did you lie to me?” I shook my head and stared into his eyes. For a few seconds we were back on the island. For a few seconds it was just us against the world. For a few seconds my heart stopped beating and I was caught up in the magnetism that attracted us to each other. As I stared into his deep blue eyes, I felt a gamut of emotions: pain, anger, sadness, and something akin to love. My heart broke as I saw the same emotions reflected back at me.

“Bianca.”

“My name is not an answer,” I grated out.

“Just trust me.” His eyes bore into mine as our fingers held on to each other. My body wanted to believe him with everything that I had, but my brain was being smarter this time.

“That’s not an answer either.”

“What do I need to do for you to trust me?”

“Let me go,” I pleaded.

“That’s not safe.” He shook his head.

“I don’t feel safe being here with you.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” His fingers dug into my skin. “I didn’t count on this, Bianca.”

“You didn’t answer my questions. Did you know Steve and were you kidnapped?”

“You know the answers,” he said simply, his eyes never leaving mine.

“Is David your brother?” I asked softly, not even allowing myself to breathe as I waited for his answer. Please say no, please say no, please say no. Even as I expected the answer, I prayed he wasn’t my ex-boyfriend’s reclusive brother, Mattias.

“Yes.” He nodded. “Yes, David is my brother.”

I was distracted then by a sudden movement on the ground below us. A group of people walked toward the hotel down a narrow pathway.

“Help!” I screamed. “Help me!” I yanked my hand away and tumbled to the floor. “Help!” I screamed again, needing them to hear me, but as they looked around in confusion, a bird flew past them and distracted them, and my faint cry was forgotten.

“Bianca, stop it!”

“Leave me alone!” I wanted him to know that I wouldn’t be silenced.

“Bianca, we had something special. Please, give me the chance to explain.”

“We had nothing,” I spat. “It means nothing. You ruined it all with your lies.” Tears ran down my face as in shock I made the transition from anger to complete and utter devastation.

“I’m coming over.” Jakob stood on the top of the balcony railing, balancing like an acrobat before getting ready to jump over, and I felt myself stilling as he stood there.