Devotion (Club Destiny 5)

When Luke’s hands gripped his shoulders, Cole tensed. He was prepared to stand his ground, not willing to give in to his desire until they’d reached some sort of understanding because for the two of them, it was so easy to give in, so easy to let all of the issues, all of the concerns get brushed away because they’d become so apt at resolving their emotional disputes with sex.

To his surprise, Luke didn’t try to move him, he merely kneaded his shoulders firmly, moving to stand even closer until the warmth of Luke’s large frame was at his back. Another breath escaped him as he tried to let the magic of Luke’s fingers ease the strain from his muscles.

“I told you why I came, now I want to know why you ran,” Luke whispered, his breath warm against Cole’s ear.

Cole instinctively shrugged his shoulders, signifying he didn’t have an answer. He immediately felt Luke’s grip tighten briefly before releasing, letting him know without words that he wasn’t satisfied with that answer.

“I know this has nothing to do with Hannah or Sierra, so I can only assume it’s between you and me. Am I right?”

Cole pulled away, managing to ease from between Luke’s body and the wall in front of him before pacing to the other side of the room.

“I’m not sure it is about you, Luke. Maybe it’s about me,” Cole said, not looking directly at him, but feeling the other man’s eyes tracking him.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that you and Sierra aren’t the only two in this relationship, but maybe I’m wondering why that is.” Before Cole could begin his next sentence, he found himself slammed up against the wall, Luke’s hard, ungiving form restraining him, his hand flat against his throat, his thumb and forefinger cupping his jaw, forcing him to look at him. Luke wasn’t hurting him, but Cole instantly went on the defensive, fighting back the urge to retaliate.

“Don’t say it.” Luke’s voice broke, although he tried to hide the emotion.

Cole felt the answering emotion well up inside of him, and he immediately had to blink several times to keep the tears at bay. He felt so lost, so confused, but as he looked into Luke’s bright eyes, he wondered if he had imagined it all.

“You’re in this because we love you. And yes, before you say otherwise, I do love you,” Luke said, his voice still gruff. “I don’t want you wondering why.”

“How can I not?” Cole questioned him. “I feel like the fucking third wheel, dammit.”

Luke let him go, stepping back and staring at him as though he’d just spouted a third eyeball. “What the fuck? What have we ever done to make you feel like that?”

Cole watched Luke’s face, his incredulity clearly reflected on his stern, yet concerned face. “Let’s see,” Cole barked. “Could it be that neither one of you can make time for me? It’s like I’m a second thought, something else always seems to be more important. Did you ever notice how you will drop everything when Sierra wants to see you? You don’t do it for me, Luke. Something always gets in the way, whether it’s the club or Trent or now Xander. It’s as though the rest of the world can’t survive without you, but I’m supposed to sit back and wait until everyone else is through with you to get my turn.”

“I –” Luke’s mouth abruptly closed.

“You what? You don’t find some way to keep yourself busy, unable to give me your undivided attention unless you’re ready? Well, I hate to break it to you, but that’s exactly what happens. I’m the third wheel in this, Luke. I’m sick and fucking tired of coming last. I’m tired of being the fall guy, coming to everyone else’s rescue all the damn time and still waiting for someone to rescue me.” The last word damn near escaped on a sob as a lump formed in Cole’s throat. He hadn’t meant to say quite so much, but it was exactly how he felt.

Cole waited patiently for Luke’s denial, for him to come up with an example which would make him realize this was all a figment of his imagination. A minute passed. Another. Luke didn’t say a word, he just stared at Cole, his lips a hard line, his dark brows slanted downward as though he were lost in thought.

“I was hoping I’d imagined it all. I wanted to be the selfish asshole who was looking for more than he was getting, but I’m not, am I, Luke? I’m no one’s priority.”

“Bullshit,” Luke barked, the word choppy and broken as he took one step closer. Then another. “You’re my priority. Always my priority.”

“Yeah?” Cole didn’t back down as Luke slowly moved forward. He could see the emotion finally taking Luke the same as it had him the more he thought about it. “You’ve got a funny way of showing it.”