Desertion

“Makes sense.” I nod, not pushing the subject. Jackson said they were messed up, and I get it.

“Well, thank you for dinner. Surprisingly, I had a good night.” She begins to slide out of the booth. Giving me the cue to move.

“You’re surprised you had a good night?” I question as I drop a hundred down on the table.

“Let me pay, too,” she begins to fight me on it, but I don’t let her.

“You were saying you had a good night.” I turn to her.

“If I’m being honest, yeah I did.” She pushes her arms into her jacket.

“Well, now I’m shocked,” I tease.

“Well, you should be. You’re incorrigible, Jesse.” She shakes her head and picks up her purse.

“I can’t help it with a beautiful woman like you.” She rolls her eyes but I ignore it and follow her out to her car. I can tell when she fights her reaction to my lame jokes, as she calls them, and I find myself trying to make her react with each one.

“Can I get your number?” I ask when we slow our pace in front of a row of cars. We passed my bike a few spaces back, but I want to make sure she gets to her ride safely.

“Jesse, don’t.”

“I need to be able to contact you with any information,” I tell her, watching her start to freak out.

“Oh, okay.” She nods and shoots off her number for me to add. I send her a quick text for her to have mine and then pocket my phone.

“When Jackson gets the files, we can see where we need to go from there.” I step forward. She retreats slowly but doesn’t protest.

“I really appreciate everything, Jesse.” She swallows and I can tell having me so close affects her.

“I really want to kiss you, Bell.” The words fall from my mouth and I don’t even care. It’s true. I want to kiss her so fucking bad.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” she whispers, but I’ve never been one to give up so easily.

“I think it’s the best idea I’ve had all night,” I tell her, taking her face in my hands.

“Jesse,” she sighs, but I don’t let her get another word out. My mouth descends to hers, and after what feels like an eternity, I’m kissing her.

The kiss starts out slow, gentle with my uncertainty, her body frigid with her unease. When her hands move to my shoulders, I know she’s not going to push me away. My tongue skirts out, craving to taste her. She opens, slightly awkward in her movements, so I take charge of the kiss and own her fucking mouth.

“Open,” I order, my lips still pressed to hers. She obeys, opening and allowing my tongue the entrance it’s searching for. Her tongue carefully slides out, dancing gently against mine. It’s exactly how I expected her to kiss. Soft, gentle and unsure. Deepening the kiss, I hold her harder against me, her large soft breasts pressing against my chest. My cock strains in my jeans and I know she can feel it against her stomach. A low rumble erupts from my chest when her leg comes up wrapping around me. Molding to me. If I were with anyone else, outside standing in the dark and in an open parking lot, I’d have them against a car pounding into them, but I don’t, because this is Bell, sweet, innocent Bell. Running my hand up her leg, I wrap my fingers around her calf and release her from me. She sighs against my mouth, the sound going straight to my gut. Jesus, this needs to end now.

Slowing the kiss, I gently pull back and lean my forehead against hers.

“This can’t happen here, Bell.” I hate myself for saying it, and I might be a fucking idiot for stopping this, but I know in the heat of the moment, I could get her to submit and then after she would hate me.

“Oh, God.” She pulls back her hand covering her mouth. She looks disheveled, her eyes shining with arousal, and my mind moves to how she would look after I’ve thoroughly fucked her. Jesus, what I wouldn’t do to see that look, under me.

“Relax, it’s okay,” I try to reassure her but it doesn’t help.

“I have to go.” She spins and fumbles with her keys. I want to step in and try to calm her, tell her what just happened is okay. But I can’t do it because I can’t trust myself around her. I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anyone before, and that alone is dangerous. I vowed a long time ago never to want anything or anyone. When you put yourself on the line and allow yourself to want something, you open yourself up to disappointments. My life is full of so much disappointment I couldn’t bear to have more thrown in my face. I need to stay away from Bell Johnson. She makes me want, but it just can’t happen.

ME: I had a good night

I send the text off the next morning to Bell as I walk into Liquid. My vow to stay away from Bell lasted less than twelve hours. Last night was a first for me, for a lot of things. I went on a date, one that didn’t end in sex, plus I slept without a nightmare.

I pocket my phone and continue about my day, getting the club restocked for one of the biggest nights of the week.

“Hey, Jesse, have you got a replacement for Sarah tonight?” Tammy asks, coming out of the office. Tammy likes to keep me in check.

“Not yet. Was hoping I could convince you to find me one.” I smile my cheeky smile at her, but I know it won’t work. Tammy is immune to my ways. I fucked her once, last year. And afterward felt like the biggest asshole in the world ‘cause she needed this job. She’s a single mother with a dead-beat ex. Nix, ripped me a new one after finding out and when things cooled down, I offered her a management position and since then, things have run a lot smoother.