Denied

‘Is it a power cut?’ I ask, but quickly realise the stupidity of my question when I register all of the blue lights still glowing at every turn.

‘I’m not sure,’ Gregory replies, confused. ‘Maybe the fire alarm will kick in.’

I gaze around the club, seeing motionless forms everywhere, all looking confused by the sudden quiet. Even the doormen have entered from outside to find out what’s happening, and when I cast my eyes over to the DJ, I see him shrug at the security guy next to him, who’s obviously asking what’s going on.

Unease sets in, strangeness settles in my gut, and the hairs at the back of my neck rise. William’s words are suddenly all I can hear. I reach over to take Gregory’s hand, feeling exposed and vulnerable, yet with no explanation except a silly power cut.

‘What’s going on?’ I ask, casting my eyes around the club, looking for . . . I’m not sure.

‘I don’t know.’ Gregory shrugs, not in the least bit concerned.

But then the club is suddenly filled with music again, and everyone seems to sag around me, including Gregory, who starts laughing. ‘I think the DJ might be getting sacked.’ He turns to me, his smile dropping when he registers my blank face and static form. I can’t move. ‘Livy, what’s up?’

The words to the track soak through the haze of alcohol, punching me in the stomach . . . hard. ‘Enjoy the Silence’. My eyes close.

‘Livy?’ Gregory shakes me a little, prompting my eyes to fly open and shoot around the club. ‘Olivia?’

‘I’m sorry.’ I force a smile, trying to appear fine, but my heart is crashing against my breastbone, set on fighting its way from my chest. He’s here. ‘I need the toilet.’

‘I’ll come.’ He starts leading me off the floor.

‘No, honestly. Get the drinks. I’ll meet you at the bar.’

Gregory relents easily, letting me find my way to the toilets alone while he orders more drinks. But I don’t head for the ladies’. I divert once I’m out of Gregory’s sight and hurry towards the front of the club, taking the stairs fast, down to the maze of corridors beneath Ice. William told me to run, but I doubt he wanted me moving towards the danger. I’m a woman possessed as I follow the passageway, taking too many wrong turns and shouting my frustration when I land in front of a storeroom. I can still hear the music – the words distressing me, reminding me, as I rush back the way I came and try a different route. The sight of the metal keypad outside Miller’s office fills me with relief and dread all at once as I charge for it. I have no clue what the code is or what I’ll find . . . or what I’ll do if I find anything – if I find him.

I don’t need the code. The door is ajar and one tiny push swings it open.

Internal fireworks explode.

He’s standing in the middle of the room, suit adorned and expressionless, just watching me as I hover on the threshold of his office. My eyes instantly fill with tears as I breathe erratically and watch him watching me. My knees feel weak. The music is relentless. I drink him in, his dark suit pristine, his hair seeming longer, the soft waves flicking out from below his earlobes. There are no words, just intense eye contact. There’s no facial expression or body language to tell me what he’s thinking. He doesn’t need to tell me what he’s thinking, though. His eyes are doing that. And they’re angry. He’s been watching the club’s CCTV footage. He’s been watching me being hit on by countless men. I take a worried pull of breath. He’s been watching me encourage and accept it.

‘Did you let any of them taste you?’ He steps forward, and I instinctively step back, wary.

This isn’t going to be a happy reunion. He has a nerve to ask such a question after he’s been in another country with another woman. My shock from his presence is turning into irritation fast. ‘That’s none of your business.’ He’s jealous again, and this gives me an unreasonable thrill.

His perfect jaw is ticking. ‘When you’re in my club, it’s my business.’

‘It’ll never be your business again.’

‘Wrong.’

I shake my head as I step back further, hating my uncooperative body for staggering slightly. ‘I’m right.’

He runs displeased eyes up and down my tight, short-dressed form. ‘You’re drunk.’

I ignore his accusation, remembering something. ‘Which means you can’t f**k me.’

‘Shut up, Olivia!’

‘Because you want me to remember every kiss, every touch, every—’

‘Livy!’

‘Except I don’t want to remember every moment. I want to forget them all.’

His neck veins bulge to bursting point. ‘Don’t say things you don’t mean.’

‘I mean it!’

‘Shut up!’ he roars, sending me back a few more paces, his ferocity stunning me into silence. I gather myself fast, but my wide eyes are undoubtedly displaying all of the shock I’m feeling. Shock that I came here, shock that he’s here, shock that he’s so fuming mad. He has no right to be, despite my provoking him. I knew what I was doing. And he knows that, too.

‘You told Tony to let me in if I came, didn’t you?’ It’s suddenly very clear. He anticipated this. ‘You told Tony to monitor me.’

‘I have over two hundred cameras in this club to do that.’

‘How dare you!’ I spit, feeling my blood heat with rage, rather than the usual desire when I’m within touching distance of Miller Hart. I thought my presence would shock him, but no. He fully expected it.

He steps forward again, but I keep my distance. I’m now in the corridor, not that it deters him. His long strides have him in front of me in seconds, his hand taking my nape and guiding me to his desk determinedly. I’m pushed down into his office chair, where I’m confronted with image after image of me in his club – all with men hovering around me. While I’m ashamed of myself, I’m also quietly delighted. The whole point was to torture him the only way I know how. And it looks like I’ve succeeded. The apparently emotionless man is furious. Good. I just didn’t expect to be around when he watched the footage.

‘There are five dead men on these screens,’ he seethes, leaning down next to me, smashing a button on his remote control. The images all change, but they’re all still me . . . and men. ‘There are six on these ones.’ He proceeds to flick through the footage, adding up the men he’s going to be slaughtering. ‘Does that make you happy?’

‘They never tasted me,’ I say quietly.

‘They want to! And you’re doing nothing to discourage it!’ he yells next to me, making me jump in his chair. I can feel the fury pouring from him. He’s right. His temper isn’t something I want to toy with. ‘Where’s your f**king self-respect?’

Those words ricochet around my head like a bullet. ‘My self-respect?’ I shout, flying up from the chair, letting my bag tumble to the floor and my fear of his temper tumble away. I feel pretty lethal myself right now. ‘My self-respect?’ My palms collide viciously with his chest, sending his tall frame staggering back. My strength shocks me. ‘My f**king self-respect!’

His eyes have widened slightly at my tiny fuming body and foul mouth.

‘You’re a joke!’ I shout in his face, resisting the urge to lash his cheek with my palm. But I do smack him in the chest again. This time my wrists are seized and I’m swung around, my back crashing to his body and my arms secured tightly. His mouth is at my ear, breathing hot, angry bursts of air. I hate the desire ripping through my anger. I hate it.

‘The joke isn’t on me, Olivia Taylor.’ He pushes his lips to my cheek and then bites down, leaving me whimpering in desperation. ‘The joke is on you. You’re the one fighting a battle you cannot win, sweet girl.’

‘I’m stronger than you give me credit for,’ I breathe, clenching my eyes shut, knowing my words carry no strength whatsoever.

‘I’m banking on it.’ His teeth clamp down on my earlobe, sending my backside shooting back and colliding with his groin. I cry out. He growls. ‘I need you to be strong for me.’ I’m spun around and grabbed behind the thighs, then yanked up to straddle his lean h*ps with one easy pull. He thrusts me up against his office door, one of his hands keeping me secured by the back of my thigh, the other slamming into the wood by my head. I don’t even flinch. Nothing will power through the lust attacking every fibre of my being.

His blue eyes search mine for a few moments, taking in every detail of my face, before he crashes our mouths together on a yell. I accept his violent kiss. My hands are a knotted jumble in his mess of waves, my body arching into him as he pushes me up the door on continuous moans and muffled words. While the contact is in one sense soothing me, in another it’s frightening me, bringing back too many bad memories of our hotel encounter. I start to wriggle beneath him, pulling at his suit jacket, but he mistakes my actions for equal impatience and fights free of his jacket, not breaking our fused lips.

‘Miller.’ I turn my face, yet he manages to find my lips again within a nanosecond. Things are getting out of hand and panic’s beginning to flood me. ‘Miller!’

‘You taste so f**king good.’

‘Miller, please!’

‘Fuck!’ he barks, finding the strength he needs to release me, letting me slide down the door before he steps away and wipes his brow with his cuff. He looks dazed. We’re both panting and sweating.

‘This isn’t happening.’ I run and snatch my bag from the floor, then hurry to the door, thinking I need to calm down before I find Gregory.

‘Olivia!’

I swing around, finding him wrestling his jacket on. ‘No!’ I scream. ‘This is it, Miller!’ He didn’t just worship me. If I let this go further, there will be no worshipping. There will be only f**king. He’s been fighting his instincts all this time, and now he’s exhausted, desperate. I take my membership card for Ice from my bag and throw it at him, and then watch as he follows its journey to the floor at his feet. ‘I said you’d never get to taste me again, and I meant it!’

‘I just tasted you, and I want more. I want more hours. A lot f**king more.’

‘You’re ruining my life!’

‘You merely existed before.’ His words are arrogant but his tone soft. ‘I brought you back to life, Livy.’

‘Yes, for another man to taste.’ I get no thrill from the look of horror on his face – none at all. There will be no other man. I’m returning full force to solitary confinement because what I’m feeling right now is total devastation. Empty. Lifeless. No man can fix me, not even Miller.

‘Take that back now.’ He points a warning finger at me. ‘Take it back!’

I remain silent, watching his body heave before me.

‘I know I’m a f**k-up, Olivia!’ His breathing slows, his arm lowering to his side as he takes a moment to compose himself, pulling gently at his shirt, as if he can smooth his temper the same way he smooths his clothes. ‘I’m on my way to hell.’

My bottom lip starts to quiver as I watch his crystal-clear eyes freeze over, a coldness settling around his office that slows my heart.

He steps forward. ‘There’s only one person who can drag me back.’

I choke on a sob but he’s expressionless now. I’m getting nothing, except those chilly eyes. I don’t like it. Is he asking me for help? The OCD, the freakish manners and uptight attitude. The women, the debasement, the nasty f**king and belts and rules . . .

No, I can’t see past it all.

‘I’m not strong enough to help you,’ I murmur. William’s words are spinning in my head, making me dizzy. Miller really is ruined. ‘You’re too damaged.’