Deidre's Death

"You don't trust me, either. Pretty sure you're hiding something important. If you trusted me, that wouldn't be the case."

"I did not think of it that way," she said, abruptly dismayed. "What if what I am not telling you drove you away?"

"That won't happen."

"Hmmmm."

"There's the problem." He chuckled. "I don't know shit about a functional relationship, but being with you all those years taught me what a dysfunctional one was. I never trusted you. You never trusted me. That is the first fucking thing we'll figure out this time around."

"We were dysfunctional?"

"Seriously?"

"I thought everything was fine," she said.

"You know that's not the case now, right?"

"I don't know," she said. After a pause, she continued. "Gabriel, I didn't know you were unhappy with me."

"You didn't have the capacity to care."

"But I did care. So much I gave up everything to be right here, right now."

He said nothing.

"You know that, don't you?" she pressed, heart fluttering.

"I know what you were capable of as a deity. I'm afraid to know what you've done to get here," he said softly. "No matter what it was, though, you're my mate. I'll protect you, Deidre, I promise it. It's my duty and obligation. I want it to be more, but that might take time, if we ever get there."

Deidre listened. She wanted to believe him. Would he really accept her once she told him she sacrificed an innocent human to the Dark One? A human he might have loved?

She was terrified by the thought of him leaving her. Or rejecting her. Or worse, staying with her for eternity but hating her.

"We can start with you telling me your secret."

"There's nothing to tell you," she whispered. "Will you answer a question for me, Gabriel?"

"I'll do my best."

Her heart fell further. By the cool tone, he was as far from trusting her as she was from revealing her secret.

"I know I'm … different now than I was the other night when we were on the beach," she said hesitantly. "Does that disappoint you? Me being different?"

Gabriel was quiet for a long moment, which she took as a bad sign. If he had to think about how to respond, it probably wasn't good.

"I don't know who you are, Deidre. I never have. If you don't stop lying to me, I never will," he replied. "It doesn't matter what color your hair is or what Darkyn did to you." There was more that he wasn't saying, and she suspected he was protecting her from the truth.

"You loved her. Me," she corrected quickly. "The human version of me better."