Deep (Stage Dive 4)

“Lizzy, you said you’d missed some school, didn’t you?” asked Anne.

“Some,” I admitted, not liking the direction this grilling was taking. Time for a smooth segue. “Anyway, how are the plans for the tour going? You guys must all be so excited. I’d be excited. Have you started packing yet, Anne?”

My sister just blinked at me.

“No?” Maybe a sudden outburst of verbal diarrhea wasn’t the answer.

“Hold up. Have you been sick, Liz?” Ben asked, his deep voice softening ever so slightly. Though maybe that was just my imagination.

“Um…”

“Maybe you got the same bug Lena’s got,” he said. “How much school have you missed?”

My throat closed tight. I couldn’t do it. Not here and now in front of everyone. I should have fled for the Yukon rather than come here tonight. No way was I ready for this.

“Liz?”

“No, I’m fine,” I wheezed. “All good.”

“Um, hello,” said Anne. “You said you’d been nauseous for the last few weeks. If I hadn’t been away I’d have dragged you to the doctor’s way back.”

And thank god she’d been on her second honeymoon with Mal in Hawaii. To have found out about the bean with Anne in attendance would have been up there with watching the four horseman of the apocalypse riding into town. Terror, tears, chaos—all of these things and more. Definitely not my idea of a good time.

The date, Sasha, fixed her inquiring gaze to the ever so subtly still gagging Lena.

“Did anyone else get this?” she asked.

“I don’t think so.” Anne looked up and down the table, taking in the various shaking of heads. “Just Lena and Lizzy.”

“We’ve been fine,” said Ev.

“Weird,” said Anne. “Liz and Lena haven’t been around each other since the wedding. That’s over two months ago now.”

Murmurs of agreement.

My heartbeat raced. Mine and the bean’s both.

“Well, I think they should both take a pregnancy test,” announced Sasha, retaking her seat.

A moment’s stunned silence.

“What?” I spluttered, panic coursing through me. Not here, not now, and sure as fuck not this way. Bile burned my throat, but I swallowed it back down, fumbling for the second puke bag.

Ben’s brow wrinkled and there were startled coughs and gasps from others.

But before anyone could comment, a strange screechy noise came from Lena.

“No,” she cried, voice very high and very determined. “No, I am not. You take that back.”

The back-rubbing by Jimmy went berserk. “Baby, calm down.”

She didn’t. Instead, she pointed a shaking finger at the now very unwelcome stranger in our midst. “You have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about. I don’t know, maybe you’ve taken a hit to the head from one of those big fancy dancing fans lately or something. Whatever. But you … you couldn’t be more wrong.”

“Okay, let’s calm down a little.” Ben raised his hands in protest.

Sasha kept quiet.

“Lizzy?” My sister’s fingers dug into my shoulder, bruisingly tight. “There’s no chance, right? I mean, you know better than that. You wouldn’t be so stupid.”

My mouth opened, but nothing came out.

Suddenly, Lena clutched at her belly. “Jimmy, in your car outside my sister’s wedding. We didn’t use anything.”

“I know,” he said quietly, perfect face white as snow. “Time we fucked against the door, night before you left. We forgot then too.”

“Yeah.”

“Your tits have been really sensitive.” With one hand, Jimmy scrubbed at his mouth. “And you were complaining your dress wouldn’t do up the other day.”

“I thought it was just pie.”

They both stared at one another while everyone looked on. I was pretty damn certain they’d long since forgotten they had an audience for all these intimate details. As dinner entertainment went, this had turned into one hell of a drama, and oh god, the horror of it. My head started to turn in dizzy circles.

“Lizzy?” Anne asked again.

Okay, this wasn’t good. I really and truly shouldn’t have come. But how the hell was I to know Ben would bring along a gynecological psychic? The edges of my vision blurred, my lungs working overtime. I couldn’t get enough air. Not to sound paranoid, but I bet that Sasha bitch had stolen it all. Never mind. The important thing was not to panic.

Maybe I should jump out a window.

“Liz,” a voice said. A different one this time, deep and strong.

However I’d imagined me and Ben having this talk, it was nothing like this. Not tonight, before I’d even processed it myself. Time to go.

“Lizzy?”

Also, wow, if this was the result of having great sex then I was so never going there again. Not even for mediocre sex. Nothing. I might even rule out masturbation, just in case. You couldn’t be too careful. Random attack sperm could be anywhere, just waiting to get a girl into trouble.

I stumbled to my feet, sweaty hands on the table to steady myself. “I should go.”

“Hey.” A big hand cupped my chin. Lines had appeared between Ben’s brows, beside his mouth. But you could only see the hint of them behind his beard, the implication. The man was not happy, and fair enough. “It’s okay, Liz. We’ll get this sorted—”

“I’m pregnant.”

A pause. “What?”

“I’m pregnant, Ben.”

The ensuing silence echoed in my ears, an endless gray noise like something out of a horror movie.

Ben stood bent over the table, breathing heavy. I guess I’d looked to him for strength, but now he seemed every bit as strung out as me.

“You’re pregnant?” Anne’s voice cut the silence. “Lizzy, look at me.”

I did, though it wasn’t easy. My chin didn’t seem inclined to go in the desired direction, and who could blame it?

“Yes,” I said. “I am.”

She went horribly still.

“I’m sorry.”

“How could you? Oh god.” For a moment she squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them again. “And why were you telling him?”

“Good question.” Ever so slowly, Mal rose from his seat and started walking down the other side of the table. “Why’d she tell you, Benny?”

“Liz and I need to talk.” Ben’s gaze skipped to Mal, his hand falling from my face. “Man.”