Death's Excellent Vacation (Sookie Stackhouse 9.5)

IT felt like I'd been dropped in broken glass, rolled around, then dipped in acid and pulled apart. My head pounded. Everything seemed put together wrong. Oh, shit. Didn't I die? There was a blurry light. Silvery and cool. Something warm stroking my forehead. It felt good. "I think he's coming around, " she whispered. My eyes opened slowly. "Kate?" I croaked. Behind her was stone ribbing. It was the same room I'd been in all afternoon. No sunlight, though. This was pure Heartlight, and the pulse in the walls was soft and satisfied. "I'm here. " She touched my cheek. Smiling. She was smiling. "Hey. " "Welcome back. " This was from our guide. He'd pushed his hood back, and I stared at him in wonderment. Smooth skin. Regular nose, low wide cheekbones, blue eyes. He wouldn't win any prizes, but he wasn't a squashed- together linebacker with pitted skin and picket fence teeth. He was unquestionably gargoyle, though. His ears came up to points and I could sense the Heart in him, echoing the beat in the walls. "What the . . . ?" It was the best I could manage. "Congratulations. " He pushed his long, straight dark hair back behind one ear. "You passed the test. You're an Inner now. You can stay here, or you can go out into the world and do the same kind of work you did before. With your Heart. " He glanced at Kate, who was still in the same red dress. It was satin, and my God but her va-va-vooms looked even . . . Well, voomier. "Huh?" I blinked. Kate stroked my cheek again. "They told me you wouldn't hurt me. " Her smile was a little less tired now. The dress was cut low enough that I could see the upper edge of the mark on her left breast, running with its dark fluorescence. "All I had to do was scream. No big deal, I've done a lot of that lately. " "I'll leave you two to get acquainted. " Our guide nodded smartly. "Brother. Miss Katherine. " "What the hell?" I still sounded lost. Everything hurt, but the hurt was receding. "The Heart--" "The Heart has had its tithe. " The guide nodded, once. "You fulfilled the Tiend. Rest. "  And with that, he swept out the door. It closed softly, and I stared up at Kate. I stared at her so long she shrugged, defensively. "This is all weird as f**k. " Her shoulders hunched. "But it's better than checking at EvilMart. " "He looks . . . " "Not so bad, huh? You're much better. " Her grin lit up her entire face. "They explained everything. Well, mostly everything. You did what you were supposed to do, and now you're free. " "I thought I was dead. " The weakness retreated. I pushed myself up on my elbows and lifted my hand. The fingers were still callused and strong, but they weren't gray and gnarled. And when I touched my own face I didn't find craters. I found smooth skin and stubble, and my nose wasn't a squashed mushroom. My tongue ran over my teeth, and the familiar geography inside my mouth was different. If I looked in a mirror, I probably wouldn't see yellowed picket-fence teeth. I'd see straight white pearls. I was in a stranger's body. "I kind of figured you had a crush on me. " Kate sat back on a low stool. There was a mirror across the room, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to look in it. Outside the window, the garden drowsed under gentle silver Heartlight. The smell of jasmine smoked in through the window. "I mean, all those CornNuts. " "I'm not ugly?" I sounded about five years old. "You never were. " She folded her arms. "But we've got to work on our communication. And what do I call you, anyway? Didn't you ever give yourself a name?"  I stared at her fish-mouthed for a while until she broke up laughing. It was a nice sound, and the smile that cracked over my disbelieving alien face felt like sunshine. "Call me what you want, " I mumbled, and that broke her up all over again. I settled back into the bed and stared at her. It was like waking up Christmas all over. "I'm not ugly?" "You never were ugly. Ever. " She moved as if she were going to get up, and I flung out a hand to stop her. A stranger's hand. "Please. Kate. I'm sorry, I--" She sank back down and stared at me. We looked at each other for a long time. "You mean you're sorry for bringing me here, when you thought I was going to be a human sacrifice?" My neck felt like rusted metal when I nodded. My hair moved on the pillow. She nodded, golden hair falling in her eyes. She looked very solemn, and the Heart inside me--it was still there, ticking along as if I hadn't shoved a knife in it--turned over. If I could have torn it out and given it to her, I would have. Because it had been hers all along, hadn't it? "Yeah. " She settled back down on the stool. "It's still better than checking at EvilMart. Just relax, for now. We'll have to think up a name for you, they say. And they say we can go wherever we want, that you've got a vacation you didn't go on. " My throat refused to work right for a few seconds. Then I got the words out. "How do you feel about Bermuda?"

Chapter Thirty-five

The Demon in the Dunes

CHRIS GRABENSTEIN

Chris Grabenstein did improvisational comedy in New York City with Bruce Willis before James Patterson hired him to write advertising copy. He is the Anthony and Agatha award-winning author of the John Ceepak/ Jersey Shore mysteries, Tilt- A-Whirl, Mad Mouse, Whack-A-Mole, Hell Hole, Mind Scrambler, and Rolling Thunder; the thrillers Slay Ride and Hell for the Holidays ; and the middle-grades chillers The Crossroads and The Hanging Hill. His dog Fred has even better credits: Fred starred on Broadway in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. With five brothers, most of his summer vacations growing up were pretty scary, but the only paranormal creatures Chris encountered were the mermaids at Webb's City Drug Store in St. Petersburg, Florida, where the whole family went every August to visit his grandparents. The humidity was pretty monstrous, too. You can visit Chris (and Fred) on the Web at www. Chrisgrabenstein. Com. I don't know why I'm lying here dreaming about 1975 and the demon in the dunes. It's summer. Seaside Heights, New Jersey. Saturday. August sixteenth. 1975. The night I first saw the demon lurking in the shadows at the dark edge of the sand. Kevin Corman and I are running down a moonlit street away from the Royal Flamingo Motel and our families. "You score?" Kevin asked. "Yeah. " I held up two warm beer cans. "Schlitz. " "Your old man won't notice?" "I don't think so, " I answered--nervously as I recall. I wasn't a big rule breaker when I was a teenager. I usually stayed quiet. Stayed out of trouble. "Far out, " said Kevin, taking my two Schlitz cans and stuffing them up underneath the flapping coat of his leisure suit. He was dressed to score that night. Dressed like John Travolta would dress a few years later when he had the same sort of Saturday night fever. Kevin and I were on our annual two-week family vacations down the shore. We were neighbors back home in Verona, New Jersey, went to the same high school. "Uhm, were you able to get any, you know, booze?" I stammered as we tried not to look too conspicuous: two teens--one nervous, the other cocky--skulking down Ocean Avenue at 9:30 at night. When we were younger and on vacation, this is the time of night when we would've badgered our parents into taking us up to the boulevard for swirled soft- serve ice cream cones. Now, our mothers and fathers stayed by the motel pool to play cards, smoke cigarettes, and drink highballs out of indestructible plastic cocktail glasses while we lied about heading over to Funtown Pier so we could go out drinking ourselves. "My parents drink whiskey, Dave, " said Kevin. "Extremely hard to rip off, man. Doesn't come in a can. " "Yeah. " "Sometimes, my dad snags miniature bottles off airplanes. Doesn't bring 'em on vacation, though. " "Cool. " "Hey, you ever even drink whiskey?" "No. Not really. " "Word to the wise: Beer and wine, mighty fine. Beer and whiskey? Mighty risky. " I nodded as if I knew. "So, where's Jerry?" I asked. "Said to meet him over on K Street. " "Cool. " We had two more blocks to go. "What about, you know--the girls?" "Relax, dude. They're college girls. Means they'll have their own wheels. " "Yeah. " "And Dave?" "Yeah?"  "Chicks this hot? They definitely know how to find the dunes, bro. Probably been going down there to make out since we were like in junior high. " I shuddered to think about all the things the curvy college freshmen we had met eight hours earlier might know. They were both nineteen. Kevin and I were infants: sixteen-year- olds with pimples when we ate too much pizza. Our buddy Jerry McMillan was a little older. Seventeen. He'd been "held back" a year. Always said he liked second grade so much, he took it twice. We reached K Street. "I did score these. " Kevin flashed me a half-empty pack of Kent cigarettes he had undoubtedly stolen out of his old man's Windbreaker. "Want one?" "No, thanks. " "You ever try one?" "Nope. " He shook the pack. "More taste, fine tobacco. " I waved him off. Kevin shrugged and lit up. He smacked down a long drag and let it out in a series of billowing smoke rings. I remember I was impressed. "We are looo-king goooood, " Kevin said between deep tokes, doing a pretty good Chico from Chico and the Man. A lot of guys did the same imitation back in the seventies, but Kevin had the shaggy Freddy Prinze hairdo to go with it. We waited. Kevin smoked. He looked pretty damn cool doing it, and that made me wonder if I could ever look cool enough for the night's coming attraction: my first blind date.  The two girls we had met on the beach had a friend. That's why I had splashed on some of my father's Hai Karate cologne. Found it in his Dopp kit along with some foil- wrapped condoms. My parents having sex. That was something I definitely didn't want to think about when I was sixteen and being fixed up with a college coed who probably had sex several times a day between classes. "Where the hell is Jerry?" Kevin said as he ground out his cigarette butt in the sand at the crackled edge of the asphalt. "College chicks this hot won't wait forever. They're from Philly, man!" My heart beat faster. We'd first met the two Philly girls when they were half naked on the beach and Jerry McMillan had had the balls to stroll over to their blanket and talk like a letter straight out of Penthouse magazine: "Is it hot out here or is it just you two?" They should've laughed or groaned or even puked at Jerry's lame pickup line. But, no. They both thought our somewhat older friend was cute. Most girls did. Jerry McMillan was lean and lanky with droopy eyes that made it look like he was half asleep at all times. He kept his shiny helmet of hair sleekly combed over his ears, its slanting divide always parked directly over an ironically arched eyebrow. As it turned out, the girls Jerry had randomly decided to hit on were looking to get down and boogie. They eagerly volunteered their names (Donna and Kimberly) and local phone numbers. They were staying at the Bay Breeze Motel with another friend, Brenda. Three college girls in a single room. No parents. They were all probably on the pill. A lot of girls were popping birth control pills in 1975 because "makin' love with you is all I wanna do, " at least according to Minnie Riperton's big hit single on the radio. Everybody who was sixteen or over that summer had already lost their virginity. Everybody except me. "We've already done the Boardwalk, " sighed the girl named Donna, arching her back, stretching her double- D cups to the max. If Jerry McMillan was a Penthouse Forum letter, this Donna was the Pet of the Month without the staples. "So, " said Jerry, "I take it you two are bored with the Boardwalk?" Incredibly, the girls laughed at that lousy line, too! "Yeah, " said Donna, who had Farrah Fawcett's winged hairstyle from the pinup poster. "We want to have some real fun, you know? We are ready to feel the funk and party hearty!" "Then, ladies, you came to the right beach, " said Kevin, who had been pumping iron on a bench in his garage all winter and spring so his chest and stomach would be ready for just this moment. I hung in the background. When you're a timid teen, it pays to have brazen friends like Kevin and Jerry. "So, Sunshine, " said Jerry, crouching down so the girls could gaze dreamily at his droopy eyes. "You ever heard about the dunes down south? In the state park?" "Sure, " said the other girl, Kimberly, as she rolled over to tan her back. She was wearing a very small bikini spotted with Wonder- Bread-wrapper-colored polka dots. The bottom was actually two tiny triangles held together by white plastic rings at her hips. She reached around to unsnap the hook holding her skimpy top in place so she wouldn't have an unsightly tan line racing across her back to add to the white doughnuts the sun-blocking circles would definitely be leaving on her flanks. "Meet us down there, " said Kevin. "Ten P. M. We'll bring the liquid refreshments. " "We'll find some driftwood, too, " added Jerry. "Rub a couple stiff sticks together and see if we can start a fire. " Every cheesy thing the guy said made these girls giggle. I said nothing. When I was sixteen, girls terrified me. "Can we bring Brenda?" asked Donna, whose bikini was full of burnt-orange and harvest-gold flowers. Reminded me of the coffee percolator back in our motel kitchenette. "Brenda's different. Likes to read books and junk. " "No problemo. She can hang with Dave. He reads books, too. Finished the summer reading list like back in June. " It was true. In books, I could be cool like Jerry and Kevin. "You sure?" giggled Kimberly. "What if Brenda is like a total dog?" "Doesn't matter, " said Kevin. "Dave will bring his leash and walk her while the rest of us get down and get funky!"