Dear Enemy

STONE GATE, WORCESTER,

MASSACHUSETTS,

December 27.

Dear Judy:

Your letter is here. I have read it twice, and with amazement. Do I

understand that Jervis has given you, for a Christmas present, the

making over of the John Grier Home into a model institution, and that

you have chosen me to disburse the money? Me--I, Sallie McBride, the

head of an orphan asylum! My poor people, have you lost your senses, or

have you become addicted to the use of opium, and is this the raving of

two fevered imaginations? I am exactly as well fitted to take care of

one hundred children as to become the curator of a zoo.

And you offer as bait an interesting Scotch doctor? My dear

Judy,--likewise my dear Jervis,--I see through you! I know exactly

the kind of family conference that has been held about the Pendleton

fireside.

"Isn't it a pity that Sallie hasn't amounted to more since she left

college? She ought to be doing something useful instead of frittering

her time away in the petty social life of Worcester. Also [Jervis

speaks] she is getting interested in that confounded young Hallock, too

good-looking and fascinating and erratic; I never did like politicians.

We must deflect her mind with some uplifting and absorbing occupation

until the danger is past. Ha! I have it! We will put her in charge of

the John Grier Home." Oh, I can hear him as clearly as if I were there!

On the occasion of my last visit in your delectable household Jervis and

I had a very solemn conversation in regard to (1) marriage, (2) the low

ideals of politicians, (3) the frivolous, useless lives that society

women lead.

Please tell your moral husband that I took his words deeply to heart,

and that ever since my return to Worcester I have been spending one

afternoon a week reading poetry with the inmates of the Female Inebriate

Asylum. My life is not so purposeless as it appears.

Also let me assure you that the politician is not dangerously imminent;

and that, anyway, he is a very desirable politician, even though

his views on tariff and single tax and trade-unionism do not exactly

coincide with Jervis's.

Your desire to dedicate my life to the public good is very sweet, but

you should look at it from the asylum's point of view.

Have you no pity for those poor defenseless little orphan children?

I have, if you haven't, and I respectfully decline the position which

you offer.

I shall be charmed, however, to accept your invitation to visit you in

New York, though I must acknowledge that I am not very excited over the

list of gaieties you have planned.