Cruel Beauty
Page 36“I’m not an assassin!” My head snapped up and I saw that he was kneeling right beside me.
“Oh. I’m sorry. That would make you a very pitiful saboteur who carries a knife for nonviolent purposes.” His crimson cat eyes were laughing at me.
I smiled. “Then it’s just as well that I’m not sorry. I wish I’d left you longer.”
“Well, that’s a pity.” He leaned toward me. His collarbone was damp, and I realized suddenly that my dress still clung to me in pale, damp folds. “Because I had just been thinking of ways you could make it up to me.”
He touched my chin with a finger. The air was still and hot in my throat.
Abruptly his hand dipped down to pull the key out of my bodice. He twirled it as he sat back, laughing, then hung it on one of the belt strapped across his chest.
“You—” I choked out. Then I lunged at his throat.
He blocked me easily with one arm, but we both tumbled over; he landed on his back with me on top of him.
“You see?” he said. “Not at all a good assassin.”
“Shut up,” I snarled, and stopped his mouth with a kiss.
I stunned him for only a moment; then he locked his arms around me and kissed me back as fiercely as the sunlight beating down on my back, and for a few minutes we said nothing at all. I didn’t know why I had ever felt that he could dissolve or unmake me; this kiss felt like coming alive, and I was helpless only in the way that I was helpless to stop my heart from beating.
Finally I let him go.. We still lay side by side, only a breath apart; his right hand was under my head, and his left hand embraced my shoulder. It was not unlike the lazy mornings when I refused to get out of bed. I knew that he was the enemy of me, my house, and my whole world; I knew that he would likely have no mercy for me and I must certainly have none for him. And I was prepared to rise and fight him, but not yet. Not just yet.
He traced a finger through my hair. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a wife with hair this long and dark. You won’t need to be ashamed when you are laid out with the others.”
But dreams, of course, always ended.
I shoved away his hand and sat up. “Don’t count your trophies before they’re dead.”
He sat up as well. “And here I thought I was giving you a compliment.”
“Is that why you take wives? So they’ll look pretty, all laid out in a row?”
He looked away. “I take them on the order of my masters,” he said flatly. “They want to be sure I know that nobody can ever guess my name.”
The honesty of the words made my breath stutter. I looked at the ground, not wanting to see him in a moment when I might pity him, and then I finally noticed it: a silent whisper of a heartbeat, sensed instead of heard. It hummed in the ground, rippled through the air, and I realized—
“Yes,” said Ignifex, “this is the Heart of Earth.”
I blinked at him. “What’s that?”
“Oh, don’t bother looking innocent. I could draw your sigils for you.”
“Then why did you bring me here?”
“You don’t think our plan will work.”
“I’d give it rather low odds.”
I leaned forward, hoping that for once his gloating temperament would be useful. “Why not? Explain to me how I’m stupid, husband.”
He poked my nose. “You’re not stupid and neither is your plan. But the Heart of Air is utterly beyond your reach. And your people have not even begun to grasp the nature of this house.”
“Then tell me.” I tilted my head. “Or are you scared?”
“No,” he said placidly, and abruptly dropped to the ground, resting his head in my lap. “Tired.”
I swallowed. The easy comfort of the gesture touched me in a way his kisses had not. I couldn’t understand why he kept acting like he trusted me.
“I had a long night,” he added, looking up at me from under his lashes.
“I told you I’m not sorry,” I growled.
“Of course not.” He smiled with his eyes shut.
“You deserve all that and more. It made me happy to see you suffer. I would do it all over again if I could.” I realized I was shaking as the worlds tumbled out of me. “I would do it again and again. Every night I would torment you and laugh. Do you understand? You are never safe with me.” I drew a shuddering breath, trying to will away the sting of tears.
Nobody had ever looked at me like that, and certainly not after seeing the poison I kept locked up inside. Not even Shade, because I had always tried to be kind to him.
I nearly kissed Ignifex again, but I knew that if I did now I would never stop. I would never be able to fight him, and I owed it to Astraia, Shade, Mother, the whole world to break this creature’s power.
So I shoved him off my lap and stood, because if I held him any longer, I didn’t know if I would be able to betray him.
“More fool you,” I said. “I’m going to keep looking for a way to stop you.” And I strode out through the door before he could say another word.
15
I spent most of the day in my room, trying to nap. I planned to be up exploring the whole night, and I wanted to be as alert as possible, so I could avoid any more disasters.
But sleep did not come easily. One thought snaked around and around my head: I kissed him. Not against my will, not for the sake of my mission, but simply because I desired it, I had kissed the monster who governed our world.
He took wives on the orders of his masters. They wanted him to know that he could never be free. They had burnt the holes in the sky, and they let the demons—Children of Typhon—ravage people against his will.
If he was telling the truth. I wanted to believe him, but every story I’d ever heard agreed he was a deceiver. And even if Ignifex was less evil than I’d thought—even if he was, in some mad fashion, as innocent as Shade—that still did not excuse me.
Last night I had kissed Shade. Last night he had as good as said that he loved me, and I had thought I loved him in return. When I thought of him—his rare smiles, his gentle kindness, the peace in his touch—I still wanted him.