Cruel As The Grave

Fortunately for the landlord's speculation, bad as it ultimately proved,

the two collegians who had engaged his best front bedroom had not yet

arrived to take possession of it. Therefore the business of turning it

over to a more profitable party was the more immediately practicable.

All the landlord had to do was to see that a fire was kindled in the

fireplace, and the table was set for supper.

Then he returned to the parlor, to conduct, in person, such a wealthy

and munificent patron to his apartment.

"Ah! this is cosy!" said the stranger, sinking into an arm-chair, and

spreading his hands over the blazing fire, whose beams were caught and

reflected by his red hair, until it shone like a rival conflagration.

"Glad you like your quarters, sir," said the landlord, putting his hand

upon the pocket that contained the purse with the two fifty-dollar bills

to see that they were safe.

"Ah! here comes the supper. Now, landlord, I want you to join me, that

we may have that little chat I spoke of," said the stranger, wheeling

his arm-chair around to the table, while the waiter arranged the dishes,

and stared at the flaming red head of the guest.

"What name might I have the honor of entering on my books, sir, if you

please?" inquired the host, as he obligingly took his seat opposite his

guest.

"What name might you have the honor of entering on your books?" repeated

the stranger, helping himself to a huge slice of ham. "Well, you might

have the honor of entering quite a variety of names on your books, as I

dare say you do; but for the sake of brevity, which is the soul of wit,

you may put down Smith--John Smith of New York city. Common name, eh,

landlord, and from a big city? Can't help that--fault of my forefathers

and godfathers. Whenever I have to sign a check the bankers make me

write myself down as 'John Smith of John.' Can't do any better than that

if it were to avert a financial crisis. All my ancestors have been John

Smiths, from the days of William Rufus, when his chief armorer John,

surnamed the 'Smiter,' for his lusty blows, founded the family. So you

may set me down as 'John Smith of John, New York city.' And now send the

waiter away, and fall to and tell me some of your neighborhood news."

Nothing but the consciousness of the possession of those two big bills

would have given the landlord courage to have left his business below

stairs to take care of itself even for the half hour to which he

mentally resolved to limit his interview with the stranger. However, he

dismissed the waiter with some extra charges, and then placed himself at

the service of his guest, and even took the initiative of the

tête-à-tête by asking: "You are quite a stranger in this neighborhood, sir?"