Crossing the Mirage:Passing Through Youth

“I haven't thought about it so far,” she said and paused for a while. “Oh, I'll surely suffer from qualms all my life.”

“What's worse, what if Vasu blackmails you?” he said as softly as he could so as not to raise her fears. “If you give in, won't it tell upon your conscience, and if not, what if he makes your man privy to your past? Wouldn't it be like between the devil and the deep sea?”

“Oh, God!” she cried. “Looks like I've made myself vulnerable forever. What am I to do now?”

Shaken to the core, she looked at him for support.

“What if you reveal all to the prospective groom?” he said sounding as detached as possible from the proposal. “Won't you clear your conscience and block the blackmail as well?”

“You know the premium you men put on wife's virginity,” she said as though she was discounting the idea. “And that being the case, who would want to marry me?”

“Maybe,” he said, “but widowers and divorcees could be less fussy about virgin brides.”

“But how am I to explain my unusual preference to my parents?” she said, “Well, even if someone marries me still, he might put me under probation till I'm fifty, if not longer. Also, my confession to all and sundry might scandalize me by word of mouth. Oh it's no less risky.”

“Well,” he said, “it's a possibility.”

“Oh, am I destined to remain unwed all my life,” she said with a sigh, “for just a misstep in youth? How cruel has life become for me!”

“I see a way out my friend,” he said as he readied to bare his heart.

“Me marrying a eunuch!” she said with a weary smile in spite of her situation as her sense of humour ensured it.

“Well, the next best,” he said and laughed in half jest.

“Jokes apart…,” she began eagerly.

“I'm not joking.”

“Oh, come on.”

“Why not marry me?”

“But why should you,” she said a little taken aback, “after all that?”

“I've my own reasons,” he said seeing hope, “love being the foremost.”

“I think it's absurd.”

“Is it because you don't fancy my looks?” he said and looked disappointed.

“Oh, no!” she said taking his hand, “what my looks have brought me but misery!”

“If you can turn blind to my looks,” he said nevertheless, “you would find me charming in every way.”

“You're only compounding my confusion.”

“Don't think that I‟m taking advantage of your situation,” he said in an outpour. “I love you with all my heart and soul. I don't want to stress upon that because it may not mean much to you now, and for all that you could've lost faith in love itself.”