Crossing the Mirage:Passing Through Youth

"Much of his misery may be imaginary,‟ she began thinking after a pause, 'but its effect appears real. He's really psyched out. Or so it appears. Maybe, it is better that he goes. Being away for a while may relax his nerves and help him clear his mental blocks. There's no other way over there. Dad is bound to be upset about it all. He may even lose his bearings and disown him forever. It would be a tough ask to assuage father and console mother once he's gone. But the family good lies in his going, so it seems.‟

At that, she mapped out a strategy for her brother's deliverance but became doubtful about its fallout. "Won‟t they be cross with me for abetting his desertion!‟ she thought in the end. "And will that help him in the end after all? What possibly could go wrong with him? Oh, life seems to be partial to the males. Won't it come up with escape routes even when fate corners them? Women, oh, they seem to be forever trapped in the man's world, in every way that is. At least some occupation would've served my cause. It might have proved to be an opportunity even. Who knows, I could've met my man at work to work out the rest. Thanks to father's dogmas, I‟m condemned to this vegetable existence. How tiresome life has become for so long now! Those silly old values that make vassals out of women! With its oppressive social lock well in place, it's but a calibrated culture trap to entrap women. There is no breaking the shackles my father and fate together had put my life in. But Chandra could be a free soul soon. That's the advantage of being born a male.‟

As the euphoria of her role in his brother‟s escape gave her ideas about her own deliverance, she became ecstatic. "Why not go along with him?‟ she deliberated at length. "Maybe, single women are vulnerable if they are on their own. There is no mistaking about that in our society, at least as of now. But with Chandra around, it would be different; there won't be a problem that way. Once I feel secure, the rest should be easy to get a footing. We both can work hard and breathe easy. Can't we? We can, that's for sure. Who knows, I may find my man at last to lead a meaningful life.‟

The possibility excited her in the beginning only to dampen her at the end.

"Well, it is one thing for a boy to run away from home and another for a girl to do the same,‟ she thought dejectedly. "My rebellion could be labeled loose character and my adventure might be dubbed as elopement. Won't all that shame my parents, and who knows, they may even commit suicide! Oh, how can I bring infamy to my family and ruin my parents in the process? If it comes to that, it's better that I die. It looks as if death is the only escape for me from this life denied.‟