Crazy Detective

“What should I do? What should I do?!” Zhao Yu thought.

Standing at the door, Zhao Yu was in a dilemma. He didn’t know whether or not he should open the door. It was extremely nerve-wracking!

“Why did Yang Hong and Huahua have to appear now, at this very moment?” he thought in frustration. “If I open the door, mom and Miao Ying will see them, and the consequences will be unimaginable! But if I don’t open the door, God knows how long Yang Hong and Huahua will knock the door for. If mom decides to open the door, I might as well open the door myself! Aiyo!”

Zhao Yu was in a tough spot.

“Son, who is that? Why don’t you open the door?” The old lady heard a knock at the door but noticed that Zhao Yu didn’t open the door for a while. She started to get up and wipe her hands off.

“Open open open!” Zhao Yu had no choice but to open the door.

But Zhao Yu was not one who resign to his fate easily. He immediately opened the door and stood up straight to salute Yang Hong and Huahua. Then he shouted, “Hello, fellow neighbors, how can I help you?”

Looking at Zhao Yu suddenly saluting someone, Miao Ying and the old lady craned their necks to look over to the living room.

“What are you doing, Bro? I’m here to give Daheng a bag of dog food…” Huahua was frightened by Zhao Yu. She gave him the dog food and walked directly into the house.

Zhao Yu blocked her at the door and blinked his eyes at her forcefully. Huahua and Yang Hong then noticed the weird atmosphere and stopped walking.

Zhao Yu took the dog food and immediately bowed ninety-degrees. Then, he extended his hand to shake Huahua’s hand and said, “Thank you for your kind gift, my fellow neighbor. I thank you on behalf of Daheng! In the future, please take care! Mm, so long!” He didn’t care that Yang Hong and Huahua looked puzzled. Zhao Yu shut the door and locked it.

“The f*ck!” he exclaimed in his head.

Zhao Yu wiped away his cold sweat and shouted to the kitchen, “Mom…Yingying…my neighbor gave me a bag of dog food for Daheng. Hehehe… They’re so generous!”

“What? The girl who lives across from you?” His mother said solemnly, “Son, I told you many times, that woman’s features are light, and the corner of her eyes look like a fox’s, don’t mess around with her! Mm… Daughter-in-law…” The old lady turned around and looked at Miao Ying. “Don’t you worry, my son is an honest man, he wouldn’t behave inappropriately!

“Plus, this is just a rented unit. His dad and I put together some money for him to buy a house in the city for the two of you when you get married later on. By that point, you won’t need to worry about this, right, son?”

“Mm…” Zhao Yu held the bag of dog food. He couldn’t nod but he couldn’t not nod either. It was a really difficult situation.

“And you better teach your dog a lesson. Why does he look at me as though I’m his enemy?” The old lady pointed at the bag of dog food and said, “Let me tell you, I am famous for cooking dog stew back in our hometown! I might just put him into my stew one day!”

“Woof woof…” On the balcony, Daheng seemed to understand and barked.

“Pfft…” Miao Ying couldn’t help but laugh. She didn’t know why she was so happy seeing someone scold Zhao Yu. This naughty lady decided to add oil to the fire, “Aiya, auntie, you belittled your son. He’s honest? I doubt it!” Miao Ying argued. “He is very popular among the ladies. A lot of female colleagues like him! Oh, and…even the girl downstairs called him ‘Godfather’!”

“Wow, is this true?” The old lady was shocked and quickly replied, “It can’t be. Zhao Yu is quite honest. When he talked to the girls back in our hometown, his face would turn red! How…how could he have turned into a Godfather? My dear daughter, is this a misunderstanding?”

“Then…let your son explain it to you! Anyway, he constantly attracts the attention of the opposite sex. I cannot be at ease…”

“Hey?” Zhao Yu finally realized that Miao Ying was trying to take advantage of his misfortune to get revenge on him! But she actually sounded jealous as she spoke. He wasn’t sure whether she was joking or if she meant it.

“Mom, don’t listen to her. How could I be like that?” Zhao Yu laughed it off unnaturally and wanted to explain to his mother. Unexpectedly, someone magically knocked on the door again.

Zhao Yu looked through the peephole, and he nearly fainted. He saw Jiang Xiaoqing carrying a big watermelon, waiting right outside his door!

“The f*ck… Hey, system. What did I do to you? Do you really have to pull so many pranks on me? If you think that I am not sincere enough, I would lay more offerings at the altar later, okay? Please, stop f*cking with me!” he thought.

“Who is it this time?” When the old lady asked, both she and Miao Ying stopped what they were doing and looked at Zhao Yu with full anticipation.

Zhao Yu gulped and unlocked the door for Jiang Xiaoqing!

“Godfather!” Jiang Xiaoqing greeted him excitedly and went to pass the big watermelon to him.

“Aiyo!” Zhao Yu jumped. He had wanted to stop Jiang Xiaoqing but he didn’t know the girl would be so fast.

“What’s going on? Why did you jump so high?” Jiang Xiaoqing walked into the house and put the watermelon on the ground. “My mom has been discharged from the hospital! She told me to send you this watermelon! Eat it! It’s cold… Aiyo!” When Jiang Xiaoqing saw the old lady and Miao Ying in the kitchen, she stumbled as she was caught off guard. She pulled the corner of Zhao Yu’s sleeve and asked, “Th-there’s someone in your house…”

Zhao Yu slapped his forehead and introduced them sadly, “My mom and my wife, oh…my girlfriend!”

“Hi, Auntie!” Jiang Xiaoqing greeted the old lady politely.

“F*ck, what did you say? Call her ‘grandma’!” Zhao Yu corrected her.

“Oh, grand…”

“Hey hey hey, just call me ‘auntie’, ‘auntie’ will do!” The old lady quickly stopped her as she gave Zhao Yu the death stare.

“Hey? Aren’t you the beautiful police detective?” Jiang Xiaoqing recognized Miao Ying. “Hi, Sis. I wouldn’t have guessed that Godfather was good enough to get you! That’s surprising!”

“Hey! Do you have any manners? How dare you call yourself a bookworm!” Zhao Yu shook his head.

“Oh, got it.” Jiang Xiaoqing nodded at Miao Ying, “Hi, Godmother!”

It was Miao Ying’s turn to blush, and it was awkward. According to the local tradition, Miao Ying should give Jiang Xiaoqing a red packet! If she were a kid it would be okay, but Jiang Xiaoqing was a teenager about to enter adulthood, probably just a few years younger than Miao Ying. That was a bit embarrassing…

But Jiang Xiaoqing did not mean anything impolite. She quickly turned around to ask Zhao Yu, “Godfather, where’s Daheng? I’m going to take my midterm soon. A break is hard to come by, I want to take Daheng out for a walk!”

“Oh, that’s great. He’s on the balcony! Daheng!” Zhao Yu clapped his hands. “Hurry up, your sister is here for you!” Zhao Yu called and Daheng quickly ran from the balcony. Although it hadn’t met Jiang Xiaoqing often, Daheng was close to her. It quickly ran circles around the girl. Very quickly, Jiang Xiaoqing led Daheng out.

“Hoo…” Zhao Yu let out a sigh of relief but his mother started scolding him, “Zhao Yu, what is wrong with you? You are not even married yet! Why are you being a godfather out of nowhere? Look at that girl, she’s already a grown-up. Does she look like your goddaughter? What godfather, godmother, grandmother are you talking about? Aiyo. And why does your dog follow her, and you call her its sister? You, where did you pick up all this nonsense?

“Son, how did I educate you back home? You must plant your feet on the ground. Look,” she pointed at Miao Ying, “a good wife is hard to come by? It’s not someone you can easily find by holding up a lantern! Stop all that nonsense this instance. Do you understand?”

“Yes, yes, yes…” Zhao Yu quickly folded his hands before him as he stared at Miao Ying. Miao Ying was laughing but she dared not make any sound. But she had yet to be done with her fun. Just as his mother sat down, she complained again, “Aiya, Auntie, these are all small matters! Sigh! You have to help me with this one.” Miao Ying bit her lips and said, “Last time, Zhao Yu brought a female nurse that was drunk back home and put her on his bed! You tell me, what should I do?!”

“Huh?! There’s such a thing?” The old lady raised her rolling pin and pointed at Zhao Yu. “Son, what is going on? You’d better be honest with me!”

Dong dong dong… Zhao Yu had yet to reply and there was someone knocking on the door again!

“The f*ck!” he thought again. Zhao Yu nearly fell over! “What the hell. It can’t be. If it’s Yao Jia, I will give up on life today…”