Crazy Beautiful Love
Page 15“Not really.” He shook his head and we walked towards the main road. “This is the life I was born into. I do what I know and what my father did.”
“Do you regret that this is the life you were born into?” I wasn’t sure if my words were too prying, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking.
“No, I don’t have any regrets about anything. Life is too short for regrets.”
“That’s a great attitude to have.”
“My mom always used to say that.” His voice sounded sad. “She used to say that not everyone was born into a family with a silver spoon but everyone could change their circumstances. There just had to be one brave person in the family willing to ignite the change.”
As Logan talked about his mom, I hesitated. I wasn’t sure how much he knew about our shared history, and I wasn’t sure if he would be mad if I told him. “Your mom was a wise woman.”
“Yes, yes, she was.” He turned wistful eyes upon me. “Every day, I try to be the man she would have wanted me to be.”
“Who did she want you to be?”
“She wanted me to be kind and compassionate; she wanted better for me and my brothers. She really wanted us to have a better life. Better than my father was able to give us. She even tried to leave my dad once.” He sounded as if he were remembering something. “But then she found out she had cancer, and she knew she couldn’t take us boys and deal with the diagnosis at the same time.”
“I’m sorry.” My heart broke listening to Logan talk.
“She knew she was going to die.” His voice was hoarse. “She hoped her death would get my father to change, but he just drank more and more, and he got worse and worse. And I had to help him more and more, and then there came a point where I realized this was my life, this was who I was. But, it didn’t have to be Vincent’s life and it didn’t have to be Jared’s life. Her death wouldn’t be in vain if I made sure they took different paths.”
“They don’t steal cars?” I bit my lip nervously as I questioned him. I had always heard that it was a family business and that all the Martelli brothers were involved. In fact, when I had met Jared with Joey, I was fairly sure they were up to no good.
“No, sometimes they come to be a lookout, but I try and keep them away from this life as much as I can.” He looked at me with a weak smile. “Vincent’s in college. Well, two-year college, but we are hoping he will transfer to State in a couple of years and then go to law school. And Jared is trying to get into school as well.”
“Wow, that’s awesome.”
“I know it’s not some fancy Ivy League school like you go to, but we’re trying.”
“Ivies are overrated.”
“That’s easy for you to say.”
“Yeah, I guess it is.” I sighed at his harsh words. But I knew he was just being honest. How many opportunities had I been afforded because I had been born into a well-to-do family? I had never had to want for anything, and yet I knew I didn’t feel as if my life were complete. I had still never had love, and to me love was everything. I stared at Logan in his faded blue jeans and black T-shirt and he looked even better in person than he had ever looked in photographs. It was weird, this connection I had with Logan, the closeness I felt to him.
“But yeah, my goal is that my brothers don’t have to go down this road as well.”
“So you would give it up if you could?”
“Maybe.” He shrugged. “But what else would I do?”
“What else would you want to do?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Logan cleared his throat. “This is my fate or curse. My life was dictated by another. It seems only fitting that I do the same.” He clenched his fist and his eyes avoided mine. “I see a Lincoln Navigator over there. Wanna go check it out?”
“To steal?” I had a weird feeling in my stomach. Something didn’t feel quite right and I wasn’t sure what it was.
“An hour, huh?” I winked back at him. “I guess I’m a lucky girl.”
“Hurry.” He walked quickly. “We have to make sure no one sees us.”
“What if the owners come back while we’re in the car?”
“They won’t.” He laughed and grabbed my hand and started running. He let go of it as soon as we got to the car. I saw him pull something out of his pocket and he started fiddling with the lock.
“What are you doing?”
“Shhh.” He put a finger to his lips. “Don’t alert the world.”
“What should I do?” I asked excitedly, and he smiled at me.
“You’re such an eager beaver. Just stand there and be cool.” He pulled me towards him and kissed me passionately, and my body melted at his embrace. I felt his hand squeezing my ass and I moaned into his lips.
“Not yet, Maddie.” He grinned at me and pulled away. He started working on the car door again and I watched him work with admiration in my eyes. His biceps flexed as he tried to get the door open, and I took the time to admire his muscular body as he worked.
“Is everything okay here?” a deep voice asked behind us, and we both froze. I turned around slowly and saw a police officer behind us, and I thought I was going to faint.
“Good day, officer, I was just helping this young lady get into her car. She left her keys in the ignition.” Logan’s voice was cheerful, and the officer looked at him with narrow eyes before turning to me.
“Are you okay, ma’am?”
“Yes, officer, I locked my keys in the car by mistake.” I beamed at him. “I’m such a ditz.”
“This is your car?” He looked at me suspiciously and grabbed his radio from his belt.
I felt the blood rushing from my face as I stared at the officer and nodded. “Yes, of course this is my car. What do you think?”
“Do you have your license on you, ma’am?” His face softened a bit but he still looked suspicious.
“Uh, yeah.” I opened my purse and pulled out my wallet. “Don’t mind the photo, it was a bad hair day.”
“You from River Valley?” He looked down at my license, and I nodded. “Far away from home, aren’t you?”
“Well, I came to get some items from Walmart.” I smiled weakly. “They didn’t have them in my home store. And you can’t beat a rollback bargain.”
“Maddison Wright, hmm, any connection to James Wright?”
“Yes.” I smiled outwardly but groaned inwardly. “Mayor James Wright is my dad.”
“Oh, why didn’t you say?” He grinned at me as he handed back my license. “We love Mayor Wright around here.”
“Thank you.”
“Yes.” I smiled at him. “He sure does.”
“Well you have a good day, Ms. Maddison Wright. You let me know if you need any help, you hear?”
“Yes, officer, thank you.”
“Oh, you can call me Tommy.” He nodded. “I’ll be up at the garden center if you need any more help.”
“Thanks, Tommy.” I blushed at his changed demeanor and he grinned back at me before walking away and back to his parked car.
“What do we do now?” I made a face at Logan, who was staring at me thoughtfully.
“What do you mean?”
“Isn’t he going to expect me to leave in this car?” I groaned. “And now he knows my name as well. What if he tells people I was with this strange guy and word gets back to my dad? He’ll know that I was lying in my voicemail.” My voice trailed off as I saw Logan’s lips twitching. “I sound like a mess, don’t I?”
“A little bit.” He smirked at me. “You’re not even close to a bad girl, are you, Maddie?”
I ignored his words and glared at him. “Are you going to get us into this Lincoln or not?”
“Calm down, sweet pea.” He rolled his eyes at me and went back to doing whatever he was doing before to get the door open. “This time please be a good lookout and tell me if anyone is coming.”
“You were the one who kissed me and distracted me.”
“Excuses, excuses.” He laughed and then I heard a click, and he opened the door. “Go around the other side and hop in.”
“I thought we weren’t going to steal it?”
“We have no choice now. Now hurry up and get in.”
I ran around to the passenger side and he opened the door for me. I jumped in and he was looking in the glove compartment for something. He looked up and saw my curious stare and smiled. “Spare key. You’d be shocked at how many people leave their spare key in their car. Aha!” He grinned as he pulled a key out. “Here we go.” He put the key in the ignition and the engine purred smoothly. “Buckle up.”
“Where are we going?”
“Wherever we want.”
“No quickie in the backseat?” I pouted and his eyes darkened as he stared at me.
“No,” He shook his head. “No quickie and no trip either.”
“What?”
“You’re going back home tonight.”
“What? Why?” I stared at him, and my stomach did a double flip. Was he done with me already? What had I done now?
“I want to go, though.” I frowned. “You’re not making me.”
“Just now, what you did, it was great. It was brave, and you saved my ass, but you also put your own ass on the line. You could have been in a lot of trouble.”
“I did it for you.” I shook my head in confusion. “I didn’t want the cop to arrest you.”
“He could have arrested both of us if he hadn’t believed your story.”
“But he did believe it. And if he hadn’t, well, I would have just had to deal with the consequences.”
“You didn’t have to do that.” He pulled out of the parking lot, and glanced at me quickly. “You had my back.”
“Of course I had your back.” I looked at him in shock. “Did you think I would turn you in?”
“No.” He shook his head. “You’re not that kind of person.” His voice was full of wonder and regret. “You’re a good person, Maddie Wright, you deserve better than to be messed up with someone like me.”
“What are you talking about, Logan?” I was worried. He sounded like he was second-guessing everything again. “Are we going down this road again?”
“I want to take you somewhere, and then we’ll go home.”
I felt tears well up in my eyes at his words. It seemed that no matter what I tried to do or say, something always popped into his head that made him back away from me.
“I already told my dad I’m going away; what do I say when I get home?”
“You had a change of plan.”
“I don’t want a change of plan.” I wanted to scream, I was so frustrated.
“Trust me, Maddie. It’s for your own good.” He shook his head. “You’re a good person. You make a good friend.”
“So, I’m just your friend again?” I sighed.
“It may be for the best.” He nodded. “I do like you, Maddie. It’s just complicated.”
I wanted to ask him what was complicated, but I knew I just had to be patient. If I really wanted to be in his life, I just had to accept what he was willing to give me. Friends wasn’t bad; in fact, it was pretty darn good. It meant that he was on his way to trusting me and letting me in, and that was all I could ask for. A part of me was relieved that I was going home, not because I didn’t want to spend time away with him but because a part of me was still a little unsure of exactly what he wanted from me. I didn’t want to be his goodtime girl who he just used and threw away. I wanted more than that. I needed more than that. And I also needed to make sure I knew what I was getting into as well. Everything had been so fast and so dramatic already. I was putting everything on the line for a guy I didn’t really know. And so even though my heart told me I was on cloud nine whenever I was with him, my brain sometimes begged to differ.
Chapter 8
Logan
I was ashamed of myself. For the first time in my life, I was ashamed of who I was as a human being. As I drove, all I could think about was how I could have even entertained the thought of getting Maddie pregnant for revenge. That wasn’t who I was; I didn’t just ruin people’s lives. Especially not Maddie’s. I snuck in a quick glance at her as I drove and I was struck at the intensity of emotions running through me as I looked at her. I had well and truly f**ked up this whole situation; I wasn’t even sure what I was going to do now. I couldn’t stay in her life. I didn’t trust myself or my brothers around her. She was safer without me in her life. There was nothing I could do to help make her life better.
“Where are we going?” Maddie’s voice was open and I wondered how she could be so trusting. I guess that was one of the negatives of sheltering your kids: they didn’t truly know what danger looked and smelled like.
“I want to take you to a field.”