Christmas at the Cupcake Café

Better and better, thought Kelly-Lee.

‘Oh no! That’s too bad. Is she on a diet?’

‘Issy? On a diet?’ Austin grinned at the thought. ‘Uhm, no.’

Kelly-Lee had been on a diet since she was thirteen years old, though she always claimed she wasn’t and was just lucky she could eat what she liked.

‘So what was the problem?’

‘Well, she’s a baker, so …’

‘They’re all made to the highest of standards.’ Kelly-Lee picked up a coconut cookie wrapped in cellophane. ‘Here, try this.’

‘Actually,’ said Austin, ‘I’m not that crazy about sweet things.’

He didn’t even care for sweets. This was perfect, thought Kelly-Lee. They might as well have broken up already. He was moving here, she wasn’t here, she didn’t like his present, he didn’t like her cakes … No court would convict her.

She quickly glanced at herself in the reflecting side of the cake cabinet. She looked pretty good, her wide mouth painted a nice delicate pink and her teeth very straight and sparkly white. She blinked whilst looking at the floor – an old trick, but a good one, she’d found – then glanced up at Austin through her lashes.

‘Well, if you don’t want anything sweet …’ she said tentatively, pretending to be nervous, ‘maybe a drink later?’

‘Uhm.’ Austin furrowed his brow in confusion. ‘I don’t …’

‘I just thought a friendly thing when I finish my shift … nothing more. Sorry. I’m just … I’m new in town too. I’m sorry, I just … I mean, I just get lonely sometimes.’

‘You?’ said Austin, genuinely surprised. ‘But you’re so pretty! How can you be lonely?’

‘Do you really think so?’

Austin was starting to feel this conversation was getting out of his control.

‘Anyway, I have to go to the airport tonight. My girl-friend is … well, at least I think my girlfriend is arriving.’

‘Oh, great,’ said Kelly-Lee. ‘You must come on by, show her the place!’

‘I will,’ said Austin, relieved.

‘But you don’t know if she’s coming for sure?’

Austin winced a bit. ‘Well, it’s hard for her to get away, you know; she runs a business and everything …’ He checked his phone, instinctively, then put it away when it showed nothing.

Too busy to look after her man, thought Kelly-Lee without a qualm.

‘Well,’ she said. ‘If she decides not to come, you come here and get me and I’ll take you to this little Manhattan watering hole I know where they serve Jack Daniel’s and play jazz. You’ll like it.’

‘I’m sure I will,’ said Austin, gulping down as much coffee as he could handle – about an eighth of the gigantic cup – and heading for the door.

‘Hang on,’ said Kelly-Lee. She grabbed a notepad and pen and jotted down her number. ‘Just in case,’ she said, popping it in his top pocket.

There was a letter on the hall table that looked official. Even though Helena was honking furiously outside in the car and a pair of tights were trailing out of Issy’s gigantic bag like they were attempting to escape, she stopped to pick it up. Darny was wearing shorts, mismatched socks, a hoodie and nothing else. Issy threw one of Austin’s coats at him – very briefly she caught Austin’s comforting smell of cologne and printer ink – and banged open the door with a clang. Helena was gesticulating wildly, Chadani Imelda howling her head off in the back seat. Behind them, a large white van was also honking, trying to get past on the narrow road that was lined both sides with parked cars.

‘DARNY!’ called Issy in frustration. Darny slouched out as slowly as he dared, pretending to read The God Delusion in one hand as he went.

Helena stopped honking when she saw what Issy was wearing.

‘What …’ Her mouth dropped open.

‘Shut up. It’s a favour to a friend,’ said Issy. ‘An acquaintance. Someone I don’t like. Whatever.’

She tried to throw her bag in the boot of the car, but Chadani’s gigantically oversized turbo buggy was already in there taking up all the room, so eventually, crosser and crosser, she laid it on the back seat and made Darny sit on it.

‘We’re going to miss this flight,’ she grumbled.

‘We won’t,’ said Helena, cheerily flicking a V at the irate van caught behind her. ‘And if you do, you can catch the next one, and if you don’t want to, you can come home and have some wine with me and I’ll show you all of Chadani’s new photographs and finger paintings.’

Issy sighed. ‘Hello, Chadani,’ she said to the back seat. To her horror, Chadani was wearing a white fake fur coat not unlike Issy’s own, except Chadani’s was huge and had big pompom buttons. She looked red-faced, hot and cross.

‘WAORGH!’ she cried, then opened her mouth and started screaming again, and Issy began to think that paying a fortune to take the Heathrow express might not have been so bad after all.

‘Hello, baby,’ said Darny in a conversational tone.

Immediately Chadani stopped hollering and looked at Darny with huge chocolate-brown eyes.

‘Stop crying,’ he said, fastening his seat belt beside her. ‘It’s annoying and I have to sit next to you.’

Chadani held out her little finger. Darny took it, and she coiled her hand around his second finger, then held it tight. Issy and Helena looked at each other.

‘How do you do that?’ said Issy.

Darny shrugged. ‘Because I don’t judge everyone the second I meet them like you do.’

‘Well, one, I do not do that,’ said Issy. ‘And two, Chadani is a baby.’

‘She’s a person,’ said Darny.

Helena pulled out.

‘I can’t believe,’ whispered Issy to Helena when Darny had put his earphones in, ‘that I get all the annoyingness of a child and none of the cute and cuddly bits.’

‘Oh, you can keep your cute and cuddly bits,’ said Helena. ‘Chadani Imelda pooed on her own head this morning.’

‘Maybe you could send that to Britain’s Got Talent,’ said Issy.

Helena snorted. ‘She has many, many talents,’ she said, her voice softening. ‘But delicate, feminine pooing is not one of them. Although the other day—’