Chasing Mrs. Knightly (Chasing 5)

So I dined all by myself, patiently waiting for him to arrive so I could at least see him, even if he looked at me with no emotions. Every day, it was getting harder to bridge the gap between us. I completely ignored our friends when they tried to invite us to do something fun with them. I sure wasn’t ready to bring this out in the open when we hadn’t resolved it yet. I missed seeing our friends, but I missed my husband more.

When the time indicated it was ten past ten, I gave in to my wishes and took my phone to call him. When it kept ringing and I was sent to voicemail, I wasn’t even surprised that he didn’t take my call, yet I tried again for the second time, feeling like a possessed woman, simply needing to reassure myself that he wasn’t in some freak accident or out and about town.

I was about to hang up when I knew that in another ring the voicemail would come through, but I was surprised to actually hear his voice on the other end.

“Hello?” He didn’t sound irritated, but he didn’t seem welcoming, either. Fuck, he was making me nervous.

“It’s me. I was just wondering why you’re not home yet? Are you still in the office?”

“No. I left a few hours ago.”

Well, okay… At least he was responding to my questions. “Where are you?”

“I’m about to head to a private club to meet with the guys. Do you need something, Sienna?”

Yes, I need you home. I needed my Blake back.

“I just miss you. I’ve missed you terribly.” My feelings took over, and I couldn’t help telling him how much I wanted things to be back to how they were between us.

His immediate silence cut through my heart. Deeply.

“Don’t you love me anymore? Why are you acting this way?” My insecurities came in full force, overwhelming me, yet I couldn’t stop hemorrhaging it out of my mouth. The toxicity of it was acrid on my tongue. “Is this your way of saying that you want a divorce?” I hiccupped at the word, dying slowly inside. “Because if it is, just fucking say so! And if you’ve already slept with another woman, I swear to God I’ll take you to the cleaners. You can kiss those billions of yours goodbye!” Tears fell on my face as I imagined him taking another woman, sharing himself like he usually did when he and I were through.

I stared at the phone, wondering if he had hung up, but it still showed we were connected.

What the bloody flying fuck! “Blake, stop pissing me off!” I screamed into the phone, losing it like a mental person.

“I would never divorce you.” His voice flittered through the phone. “Even if it kills me. Even if I loathed you on sight. Even if you cheated on me. Even if you’re suffering, we’ll suffer together. There will never be a divorce.”

His words sent me into a panic overdrive.

“Well, maybe it was a blessing then because I will never give you a child. If you’re willing to let me suffer, then so will you. I’m going to make you regret that you’ve ever met me.”

“Maybe it’s just as well I make someone else pregnant with my first born then.”

His words were cruel, as were mine, however this was getting to be too much. It was as if he had pushed me into a cold, freezing lake and left me to drown.

“I would kill your whore and your bastard baby. Then I would kill you before taking my own life.” I was shaking before I dropped on the couch, feeling helpless.

“You want a divorce, Sienna?”

No. Oh, God no… I wouldn’t… I’d die without you…

“If this is what marriage to you is like, then yes, I want one.”

“I’ll give you your divorce in exchange for a baby,” he said without emotion.

And then I’d be out of his life forever? What about the baby? What about me? How could he say these things to me? He vowed to love me forever…

“Is that the only way you’d free me?” I wondered out loud, loneliness setting me adrift.

“Yes.”

Was this still my husband? I knew I had said some callous words, and the old Blake used to be cruel. Even then, it was obvious he was still in love with me. But this man I was speaking to, was another man entirely. It was Blake, yet he was also a stranger to me.

“I’ll call the lawyers to prepare them for the divorce. Our pre-nuptial agreement has a lot of clauses. Nine months will be enough time for negotiation since you want a hefty amount of my billions. Best they get to it before you give birth.” Then he hung up, leaving me reckless and desolate.

What have I done? Why did I have to make that stupid phone call? Had I not pestered and goaded him to be angry with me, he would have come home, and eventually, we could’ve resolved things as we usually did. But things were said and done, and there was no way in hell I could undo the hurtful words I had slung at him. I regretted them greatly. However, I couldn’t help tearing into him to give him an idea of the shit-storm I was going through. I had been selfish, and in turn, my selfishness had cost me my marriage.

There was nothing else I could do. Even if I apologized, I doubted Blake would take pity on me. I had showed a side of me I didn’t know existed. So what did a brokenhearted woman do once she realized she was about to divorce the man of her dreams the moment she popped a baby? I cried myself out until there were no tears left.

I woke up some time around midnight with no sign of him anywhere. Reluctantly, I went in the shower to wash the stickiness of my tears off my face and body. B, but even there, my tears formed and spilled with no signs of stopping. Therefore, I stayed awhile, until my eyes stung from the constant tearing. Then I got out and wrapped myself in one of my silk robes that Blake used to love seeing on me.

Staring into the mirror, I took a hard look at myself, wondering what had happened to me to blow my fuse the way I had with Blake. I could beg, my mind tried to convince me, but at this point, there was no going back. I had made my bed, as they say.

My eyes dropped, as did the tears, before my eyes caught the sight of my gargantuan engagement ring.

I still remembered the first time I had caught sight of it, staring into the beauty of the diamond. The past caught up to me.

“Did that feel like a game to you?” I lowered my eyes and stared at his chest. “Damn you! That kiss felt more real than anything else in this world. You love me! That kiss just proved that you do. I love you, too, Sienna. I can’t live without you. Will you marry me?”

I gasped and stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights as he got on a bended knee. He produced a ginormous rock. It was certainly more than fifteen carats. The ring was a princess-cut, canary diamond surrounded with smaller diamonds and had been designed in a halo pattern with diamonds surrounding the entire band; the eternity band.