Chasing Forever (Chasing 4)

Knowing Ava, she probably had to gather her thoughts and see how she would bring up the subject of what was bothering her. That gave me at least a few additional moments to stamp down my lustful thoughts.

Cautiously sipping my drink, I cocked my head to the side and aimed my scrutiny towards one particular person… with a brand-new hairstyle. I paused, pondering over the fact I hadn’t noticed that when I had glanced at her earlier. Frowning, I concentrated harder, noticing everything about her—the new look, and how she seemed to be loving it.

Lucy remained beautiful, nothing could ever change that. Even if she was old and wrinkly, I’d still think she was the prettiest thing I’d ever seen… but her hair… her hair was one of the things I liked about her. Fair enough. I supposed the new style was part of her new life. Her life without me in it. The thought saddened me, dampening my mood as I wondered how time had flown by so rapidly between us. It had been over a year after all.

“I think Reiss is alive.”

My nostalgic memories of Lucy were shoved back in my memory bank as I stared at my cousin. I took a glimpse at her half-filled flute then back at her, hoping that she hadn’t gotten drunk by that miniscule amount of alcohol in her system. “I beg your pardon?”

“Reiss Chambers.” Ava stared ahead without really seeing. She had that look that foretold her thoughts were faraway and distant. “I think he’s alive.”

She hadn’t mentioned his name for so long that I felt odd hearing it again. Something must have triggered the past. She wouldn’t call me for nothing. If this was the reason why she had called on me, I didn’t know what to think of it. “Ava, I’m not sure what’s been going on with you, but I guarantee you, Reiss Chambers has been proclaimed dead for a decade now.” I wasn’t trying to be an insensitive prick; I just knew I had to tell her like it was. It was for her own good. I didn’t want to risk her getting her hopes up.

“I thought so, too, but last night…” She trailed off as if she was having a hard time getting the words out. It was like she was in shock. That she simply couldn’t grasp the idea of it before revealing the real reason behind her impromptu visit. “Last night, I met a man that looked similar to him.”

Poor Ava, I thought sadly.

Extending my arm to wrap around her shoulder, my hand cupped her shoulder blade and gave it a tight squeeze. “There’s always that probability, Ava. Hell, I do it all the fucking time, but it’s not something you should dwell on.”

The idea of her chasing after the man that looked like the guy she had fallen in love with when she was seventeen didn’t sit well with me. In fact, that would be truly devastating. She was a married woman after all. She had a loving husband who gave her the world and a supportive family that thought everything of her. What good would it be chasing after memories? I should take my own advice and move on. Start anew. Well, it wasn’t because of lack of trying. I had done that and epically failed. My life had become a joke and I was going to straighten out everything else around me before I pursued what my heart longed for. I deserved it. As did she.

I glanced back at Ava when I saw her take a careful sip, still deep in thought, before glancing sideways, looking devastatingly dejected. “He’s name is Craig Chambers. Do you know of him? My friend said he’s quite famous.”

That name was prominent in the finance industry, but the man was equally well-known for keeping to himself. Some had nicknamed him an anti-social. A recluse who only wanted to be surrounded by people he trusted, and that circle of people, I’d heard, was made up of only a handful. Apart from his being elusive, I highly doubted Reiss Chambers and Craig Chambers were one and the same. I mean, how could someone have survived a head-on collision with a car that had immediately been engulfed in flames right after the impact as the police report had stated?

“Ava,” I started, eyeing her with concern, “I know you blame yourself for a lot of things, but worrying yourself sick that this Craig Chambers is Reiss will get you nowhere. Who knows? Maybe they were distant relatives. I mean, how many in the UK with Chambers as their last name might have one or two similarity with Reiss? It could be hundreds. Maybe thousands.”

Ava blamed herself for the cause of the accident, but the only person that could be blamed were the people behind the wheel. She’d told me that she and Reiss had fought the day before the accident. It was just unfortunate that he was too young when he was taken away from the world, leaving a lot of people mourning for him.

“He’s gone. Been gone for ten years now, love.”

She looked stricken. Torn from wanting to believe me and from what she had witnessed when meeting this man named Craig Chambers. A large part of me understood Ava because I was aware of what it felt like wanting to rewind things and undo what you had lost along the way. However, there was nothing to go back to for her except memories of him. The guilt. The blame. How often had she tortured herself over the years? Even after she had married Ashton, she quietly mourned the loss of Reiss.

“You’re right.” She nodded, using her fingers to curl a strand of her locks behind her ear. “I’m being silly.”

With a big embrace, I gave her the tightest hug before kissing the top of her head. Poor Ava… “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” She shook her head, glancing away before I saw her eyes had become glassy.

A forced laugh bubbled out of her. “I mean, what the fuck am I thinking? He’s been dead for years, and here I am, in the middle of a bar, convincing myself that he isn’t.” she snorted, appalled at herself for sprouting hope for the impossible. “He’s dead… and nothing is going to ever change that, Toby. He’s gone… forever.”

“It happens. Try not to be too hard on yourself.”

She took ahold of her flute, tilting her chin as she drained the rest of her drink. She then placed it back on the bar before directing me a straight look. “Is it true? Are you really divorcing Amelia?”

Welcome back, Ava. I had wondered where you’d been off to, I quietly mused as I replied to her question. “I certainly am.”

She flagged the barman to make us the same drinks before addressing me again. “I never told you, but I never really warmed to her anyway.”

Most people hadn’t. She was an acquired taste, that one. It was hard to describe her.

“Everyone is speculating, you know?”

It wouldn’t be family had they not been speculating. It was their favorite pastime. “Glad that nothing’s changed then,” I remarked bitingly as I took ahold of my second serving.