Chasing Beautiful (Chasing 1)

He called me a cab and we agreed that it’ll be easier for him to pick me up from the flat and we’ll head to the airport from there. He’ll pick me up around seven-thirty and it was already quarter past six. I technically have an hour to shower and pack.

The idea of going home with him came out of nowhere. But I was glad my head thought of it because I can’t stand staying here for awhile after our break-up.

The thought of seeing Blake terrified me. The idea of seeing him with someone else so soon would kill me. I know I’m running away from it all, but I’m not strong enough to face any of my friends and explain the situation.

Thirty-four

The ride from Kyle’s house in Hampstead to Covent Garden took half the time more than usual without traffic. I graciously thanked the driver and hurriedly entered the building.

I quietly entered the apartment not wanting to wake Lucy out of her sleep. I hunted for my luggage, unzipped it and lunged it on the bed. I can’t even look at the bed without images of Blake and me making love on it.

Shit, this is going to be difficult.

I feel like a walking breathing dead person. There’s a heavy knotted feeling on my chest. Every time I breathe it hurts. It feels like someone jammed my heart with a knife, pulled it out and left me open and bleeding.

I started taking off my clothes when I heard a knock on my door. I froze. Shit, is that Blake?

“May I come in?” Lucy’s soft voice said against the door. “Yep, come on in.”

She walked in the room looking half awake and her eyes widen when she saw the luggage on my bed. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going back home with Kyle for couple of weeks. I need some space—away.”

She sighed and sat next to my luggage. “Blake’s been calling my phone every hour checking if you came home. He’s going barmy and acting like a nutter. Haven’t you checked your phone?” I shook my head. I didn’t dare check it.

“Listen—I don’t know why you guys broke up—and I feel awful that you guys did—I love you both and I hate that it’s come to this. He didn’t want to talk about the reason why you guys did. Would it be okay if I tell him that you’re home and you’re safe? The man hasn’t slept with worry.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” my small voice croaked a response. She got up and hugged me. “If going back home will help—then go. But if you’re not sure—then best you fix it with him—if there’s a chance for you both. Just think about it okay? I love you, my dear friend. I’ll let Chad know later on today. Don’t forget to let us know that you’ve arrived safely, alright?” she kissed my cheek and quietly left the room.

My eyes burned but no tears formed. I guess I ran out of tears from all the excessive crying I did last night. I jumped in the shower for ten minutes and got out to change.

Was there anything to contemplate with Blake? He lied—technically. He hid the truth. He didn’t man up and confess about his little dirty secret. Was the engagement his dirty little secret or I am? Now that I think about it, he never once asked me to accompany him to any of the events or galas he attended. Apart from our friends, he never invited me to meet other people he dealt business with.

Fuck, the realization hurts. I’ve always wondered but I didn’t dwell on it because I was just happy being with him. I didn’t need all the bells and whistles. I only ever wanted him and I didn’t care about all the lavish parties he went to. The joke was on me. He only used me for sex. His declaration of love was pure bullshit.

I hastily changed into black stretchy-skinny jeans and a black fitted shirt and black wedge heels. I pulled my wet hair in a bun and rummaged through my closet and my essential toiletries. I jammed them all in the luggage without care. I didn’t even bother with make-up and settled with a sheer lip gloss. Kyle should be here in five minutes. I better get moving to meet him downstairs.

I found Luce in the kitchen drinking her morning coffee. Poor thing, she looked like hell from lack of sleep. Blake was so inconsiderate to even bother Lucy in the middle of the night like a psycho. I know he was worried but Luce needs her sleep. Her school was taking a lot of her time as it is. I hated Blake even more when I got a glimpse of her dark circles. We said our quick goodbyes and left for downstairs.

Dragging my luggage out of the elevator and straight out of the main door, I didn’t see the person waiting for me.

“Sienna—please talk to me. I’ve been out of my wits with worry last night when you didn’t come home.” His eyes then found my luggage, “going for a trip?”

“Yes, in fact. Kyle should be here any second. He’s going back home for awhile and I invited myself along.”

“Why would you do that? You know how I feel about him. He’s in love with you! He’s going to take this opportunity and turn it in his favor.”

“That would certainly be up to me, don’t you think? Stop wasting your time—

“No—we can figure it out. I don’t want to be with anyone else. I love you, Sienna—with everything that I am—I love you.” Liar, if he did…he would’ve ended his engagement before I even found out, but he didn’t.

He raked a hand through his hair. Damnit, he looks beautiful and sexy as hell.

“Stop lying to yourself—and to me. Game over, so you should drop the act.” He swiftly captured my lips and I reeled from the impact of his kiss. After a few times trying to coax my lips into submission, I gave in to my lecherous body. God, kissing him feels perfect…it feels like home.

I love him so much, it hurts. My tears fell freely and we both tasted my tears—but he didn’t stop. With a deep heavy guttural growl, he pulled my lips away and cradled my cheeks with his hands. “Did that feel like a game to you?” I lowered my eyes and stared at his chest. “Damn you! That kiss felt more real than anything else in this world. You love me! That kiss just proved that you do. I love you too, Sienna—I can’t live without you—will you marry me?”

I gasped and stared at him like a deer caught with headlights as he got on bended knee. He produced a ginormous rock. It was certainly past fifteen carats. The princess-cut canary diamond surrounded with smaller diamonds. The ring was designed in a halo pattern with diamonds surrounding the entire band—the eternity band. “The color of the rock reminds me of the color of your eyes when it gets caught with the sun—like liquid gold. I’ve commissioned this ring to be made the day after I left for New York. That night—I knew you were it for me. I don’t want anyone else. I know everything’s been unfolding so quickly, but I wanted—needed you to know how much you mean to me. I love you—wholeheartedly. Will you please let me be the happiest man in all of England and say yes?”