Cashel Byron's Profession
Page 167Lucian, sick with fury, and half paralyzed by a sensation which he
would not acknowledge as fear, forced himself to come forward.
Cashel thrust out his jaw invitingly, and said, with a sinister
grin, "Put it in straight, governor. Twenty pounds, remember."
At that moment Lucian would have given all his political and social
chances for the courage and skill of a prize-fighter. He could see
only one way to escape the torment of Cashel's jeering and the self-
reproach of a coward. He desperately clenched his fist and struck
out. The blow wasted itself on space; and he stumbled forward
against his adversary, who laughed uproariously, grasped his hand,
clapped him on the back, and exclaimed, "Well done, my boy. I thought you were going to be mean; but you've
you have fought me for twenty pounds and won on your merits. Ain't
you proud of yourself for having had a go at the champion?"
"Sir--" began Lucian. But nothing coherent followed.
"You just sit down for a quarter of an hour, and don't drink
anything, and you'll be all right. When you recover you'll be glad
you showed pluck. So, good-night, for the present--I know how you
feel, and I'll be off. Be sure not to try to settle yourself with
wine; it'll only make you worse. Ta-ta!"
As Cashel withdrew, Lucian collapsed into a chair, shaken by the
revival of passions and jealousies which he had thought as
formerly experienced them. He tried to think of some justification
of his anger--some better reason for it than the vulgar taunt of a
bully. He told himself presently that the idea of Lydia marrying
such a man had maddened him to strike. As Cashel had predicted, he
was beginning to plume himself on his pluck. This vein of
reflection, warring with his inner knowledge that he had been driven
by fear and hatred into a paroxysm of wrath against a man to whom he
should have set an example of dignified self-control, produced an
exhausting whirl in his thoughts, which were at once quickened and
confused by the nervous shock of bodily violence, to which he was
out, and drove to the house in Regent's Park.
Lydia was in her boudoir, occupied with a book, when he entered. He
was not an acute observer; he could see no change in her. She was as
calm as ever; her eyes were not even fully open, and the touch of
her hand subdued him as it had always done. Though he had never
entertained any hope of possessing her since the day when she had
refused him in Bedford Square, a sense of intolerable loss came upon
him as he saw her for the first time pledged to another--and such
another!