Broken Soul

Only, not all of my conclusions were correct.

•   •   •

It was out of the way, but after a quick side trip to Cochon Butcher, I made my way to the French Quarter, turning onto St. Philip Street. Luck was with me and I slipped into a rare open parking spot on the street and locked the doors, which was stupid because I had no windows. Pocketing the keys, carrying the food bags, I walked in through the arched door to find the entrance empty. The old, Mediterranean-style building was tall-ceilinged and cool, a typical, comfortable French Quarter building. There was something homey and maybe a little well-loved-shabby about the place that was unexpectedly soothing. The entrance was quaint, the lighting modest, and the central courtyard was old-fashioned and relaxed with a burbling fountain, tropical plants and vines, table and chairs, two rockers. Old brick was exposed by broken stucco. Lots of tile. Nice. Quiet.

Standing in the arched entrance to the enclosed central courtyard, I thought about the step I was taking. I was sober, single, mostly sane, so if I was making a mistake, it wouldn’t be for the wrong reason.

I stuck my free hand into a back pocket, catching my reflection in a small hanging mirror in the archway. I was too tall, still too skinny, even with the added twenty pounds. Bronzed skin. Bacon T-shirt. No makeup. Hair up in a messy mass, stakes twisted to hold it in place. I considered my ghostly reflection. Not a pretty woman. At the moment not even striking. Lanky and plain. Except for my amber eyes. They were almost exotic. Almost. But not quite.

Inside, Beast was strangely silent. As if she had withdrawn completely. Or was watching me like prey, hidden in the deeps of me.

I turned my back to the courtyard and looked at the empty entrance; pulled on Beast’s hearing and listened to the voices muffled by the thick walls. Smelled fresh paint and mold and age. And I was surprised that I felt no desire at all to run.

“Miss Yellowrock?”

A large woman came toward me from the shadows, dressed in black from sneakers Velcro-ed on her wide feet to her bottle-black hair. “Yes. I’m Jane Yellowrock.”

“Mr. Dumas left you a key.”

“Unit eleven, right?” I took the key—a brass key, not one of the new electronic card keys.

“Up the stairs to the third floor. There is no elevator.”

I nodded and followed her finger to the stairs. They were long, curving at the landings, with a wrought-iron railing and bare wood treads. I carried the key in one hand, the heavy paper bag from Cochon Butcher in the other, and recalled what I knew of the old building. Useless knowledge filling an empty mind. The St. Philip was constructed in 1839 as two separate but identical residences, built by a wealthy Sicilian immigrant for his family and his daughter’s family. At that time, this section of the French Quarter was called the Sicilian Quarter, home to Italian families and businesses.

Over the years since, the building had fallen into bad disrepair, and was used as rental units through the Depression. In the 1940s the building was operated as a gentlemen’s hotel by one of the most notorious madams of New Orleans—Katie of Katie’s Ladies—originally my landlady, and Leo’s heir, though she had owned the joint under another name. All of it unimportant. My mind was swimming through murky, narrow passageways of insignificant memory, trivial inconsequence. As my feet climbed the stairs.

The building was cool, but not cold, and I could hear window units purring and gurgling through doors on the landings, trying to take away some of the early-season humidity. On the third floor I found unit eleven. The door was marked as the Owner’s Suite and, like the others, was rented out. I knocked and then looked down at my hand. Watched as it inserted the key. The lock turned, clean and well lubricated with graphite, but ancient.

I pushed open the door, closed my eyes, and inhaled, smelling more fresh paint, adhesive, stone, carpet, and his citrusy cologne. Beast moved finally. Tilting her head. Mine . . .

He called out, “Come in. I was just preparing a salad.”

I stepped inside and closed the door. Watched as my hand locked the door latch and turned the dead bolts. When I faced the room, my boots scuffed on the carpet, the kind of carpet that you glue down in squares. The kitchen had dark wood cabinets, stainless steel appliances, and what looked like white quartz tops, similar to what Leo had going into his new clan home. An island and tall, white, upholstered bar chairs separated the cooking area from the rest of the apartment. The couches in the main room were contrasting burnt peach and brown. A wine cabinet was off the sitting area. A bedroom to the left, shrouded in shadows. The unit sported a double balcony looking over Philip Street—a pricey view, but the rooms were less ornate than I had thought he would require.

Feeling light, as if I weighed nothing at all, and at the same time as if every move I made was weighted with importance, I walked in and pivoted carefully, entering the kitchen. Bruiser stood in the small kitchen area, concentrating on the salad, letting me acclimate to being there. His attention was deeply focused on the clear glass bowl filled with greens, white cheese, cranberries, walnuts, sliced grapes, and cherry tomatoes. I set the bag on the bar, watching as he poured balsamic vinegar and olive oil over the salad concoction and tossed it with two silver spoons. Bruiser handling silver was odd. Maybe the oddest thing about the moment. Until I noticed his clothes.

I had seen him in jeans and leather and dress slacks and tuxedoes. Never in thin cotton pants, wrinkled and hanging low on his hips. He sported a thin white cotton T-shirt, his body outlined clearly. His feet were bare. I always had a thing about men’s bare feet, and Bruiser’s were beautiful, his toes long and dusted with dark hairs that lay flat against his skin.

His face was unshaven, the whiskers a paler brown than the roots of his hair, closer to the sun-kissed golden brown of his hair in late summer. Mine . . . Beast said again.

Still without looking up, he reached for the bag and removed the contents, the chilled bottle of wine first. “A good choice. Buttery with a hint of lemon.”

I lifted a shoulder diffidently. He knew I hadn’t picked it out myself. It was one he had ordered at Arnaud’s. I didn’t know whether he even remembered that. But he had liked it then, so . . .

Deftly, he opened the bottle. Poured two glasses and tasted one. I lifted the other and held it. My fingers trembled, a faint and delicate vibration. The glass was cool against my palms.

He began to remove the take-out packages. “Cochon’s duck confit and . . . Andouille sausage,” he said, approval in his voice. He opened another and said, “Their roast oysters on the half shell and . . . goat-stuffed biscuits. A little piece of heaven,” and this time there was reverence in his voice. “Steamed vegetables and a side of pickled baby squash. Roast asparagus.” A smile in his voice, he said, “You brought green things.”