Broken Dove (Fantasyland 4)

I’d already apologized, admitted I’d messed up.

Now I didn’t know what to do except give him some time.

Time I figured he’d take, considering the last time he retreated into anger it had taken four days and me approaching and laying myself bare to sort things out.

I wasn’t going to give it four days this time.

But I was going to give him space.

This meant a thrill of surprise shot through me when I heard the front door open and close.

I turned my head to the door to the sitting room, half expecting someone else to show there. Therefore I was even more surprised when Apollo’s big frame filled the doorway.

He hesitated in it before he took a step inside the room.

I pulled myself out of my stupor and made a move to get to my feet.

I stopped when he ordered curtly, “Halt.”

I blinked.

Halt?

His weirdly formal order made my heart begin to race as I stared up at him standing across the room from me.

Far away.

The length of a room that for some reason felt like an ocean.

And it felt like an ocean because his face was impassive. The same as he’d given me when he was angry at me before.

I hated it when he was like this; it scared the crap out of me.

But it was definitely better than him hitting me (or kicking me).

He also got over it.

And this time, I deserved it.

So I settled in to take it.

“What you did today was beyond foolish,” he stated.

I drew in a deep breath, nodded, and said softly, “I know, honey.”

“My son missing, I did not need to bring him back to find you were the same.”

“No,” I agreed. “You didn’t.”

“I instructed you not to leave the house,” he reminded me (again).

I took in another breath, this one through my nose, before I nodded and said, “I know, Lo. What I did was stupid. So stupid. And I’m so, so sorry.”

He showed no indication he heard my apology.

Instead, he declared, “I’m uncertain if you’ve been informed, but unlike you, Christophe did not get played by trickery. He ran away.”

“Cristiana explained,” I told him, and she had, when Achilles escorted me home after Apollo turned his back on me.

This was not a surprise either. Chris had not been in a good way since Brunskar.

It sucked that he’d been moved to that. He had to be feeling things deeply, bad things, things he couldn’t work through on his own in order to be moved to do something like that, especially in times like these. I was worried about why he had been and his current state of mind.

But I didn’t figure now was the time to broach that particular subject.

“My son has a variety of things preying on his mind. He needs his father’s attention,” Apollo announced.

I again nodded, this time slowly. I didn’t do it slowly because I wasn’t expecting that Apollo would want to look after his son. I did it slowly because he was saying those words but I got the impression he not only meant them but also something else.

“And I have a variety of things to think on,” he continued.

That didn’t sound good.

“Like what?” I asked, my voice weak with fear because I didn’t like the way this conversation was going at all.

“I’ll discuss that with you after I’ve thought on them,” he stated. “In the meantime, I shall need to attend my son so I shall not be attending you.”

Shit.

There it was.

Oh God.

God.

God.

My chest had compressed, making it hard to breathe, but I fought it and slowly gained my feet at the side of the sofa.

“Apollo—” I whispered.

He allowed me to get no further.

“I’ve made some grave mistakes. I must see to rectifying them.”

What did that mean?

My heart started hammering in my chest so my voice sounded breathy when I asked, “What mistakes?”

“I’ll explain when I’ve thought on them, come up with a plan, put it in action and rectified them,” he declared.

“You’re still angry with me,” I deduced quietly.

“Livid,” he bit off, his formal aloof demeanor slipping as he said that two-syllable word in a tone that proved it absolutely true.

Then, unbelievably unfortunately, he spoke on.

I’d felt the edge of his tongue when he spoke without controlling his emotion before doing it.

Each time he’d done this, it had gutted me.

But this time, it destroyed me.

“It would seem I am much like your father, Madeleine, for no matter how I wish to keep you from harm, you consistently find your way into it by making rash decisions that lead to dire consequences.”

After he finished, I stared at him hoping he did not just say that.

Or, since he obviously did, that he would immediately take it back.

I’d told him all about my father.

He knew. He freaking knew.

He knew that wasn’t right and he knew how his saying that would make me feel.

I stood there, staring at him, and gave it time.

Apollo didn’t take it back.

“He didn’t wish to keep me from harm,” I whispered and I wanted to kick myself because it sounded uncertain and it bloody wasn’t. Then I pointed out, “When offered the chance, he didn’t even try.”

“Or he may have been smart enough to know when he should give up.”

Now, he did just say that.

He’d said it.

Straight up.

I knew because I felt the blow and when I did, I flinched and put a hand to my belly to soothe the pain that shot through me.

Apollo’s face didn’t change in the slightest as he witnessed this.

I had f**ked up. I knew it. I knew it was huge. I admitted it. I apologized for it.

But even as big as it was, an attack this brutal was undeserved.

Completely underserved.

“Attempt to stay safe and not do anything unwise, if you can manage that,” he went on, his tone ominously final, and a chill of pure frost slid over my skin, making me shiver. “We will speak further when there’s something to say.”

I had things to say.

I had tons of things to say.

I didn’t get a single thing out.

This was because, for the second time that day, for the fourth time of our acquaintance (yes, I f**king counted), without another word, after having lowered the boom on me, Apollo turned and walked away.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Where did you go from there?

“I’ve seen some serious stuff on this world, and I mean serious. Serious cool. Serious crazy. Serious sick. But this was serious beautiful.”