Broken and Screwed

I groaned. It wasn’t that easy. A person didn’t open their mouth and ask someone to prom, even if you had been spending every day together for a week. A week. That wasn’t very long. Not at all. Oh, who was I kidding? I was terrified when it came to my love life. No, I was petrified. That was more accurate, but when Eric picked me up, there was a whole host of butterflies in my stomach and I didn’t think that was a bad thing.

“Hey.” He smiled warmly at me.

“Was I supposed to dress up?” His crisp buttoned-down blue shirt was tucked inside black jeans that looked more like dress pants. Glancing at my shirt and jeans, I felt dowdy.

“No, no. I had a thing today. I came straight from that, but you’re good. You look gorgeous, like always.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He pressed a kiss to my cheek and urged me towards his truck. “You ready?”

“I am, if I’m dressed okay?”

“You are, I promise.”

“Okay.” I smoothed out the front of my shirt and my pants as we went to his truck. After we climbed in and he pulled out of the driveway, I asked, “What thing did you have today?”

“Huh? Oh.” He frowned. “Um, just nothing really.”

“What was it?”

He shrugged and reached for the radio. When a popular song came over the speakers, loud enough to drown out conversation, the same old dread started in my gut again. It had doubled and tripled by the time we got to the taco place, and when we pulled into the parking lot, I felt ready to burst.

“Okay, we’re here. Sammy’s Tacos. You’ve really never heard of this place?”

He sounded so carefree and nice. The stone in my gut told me otherwise, and I sat there without a word. My chest started to heave up and down and I already knew my heart was pounding like crazy. But I sat there with my arms folded into my lap and my hands twisted around each other. What was I supposed to do? But then it didn’t matter. We weren’t dating. We were hanging out. He had said that he wanted us to be friends again, but this Eric felt different from the one before. He had more confidence at his party and now he didn’t seem so genuine anymore. I remembered the nice Eric, the one that would never lie to me or turn the radio on so I wouldn’t talk.

“Alex?”

I shook my head.

“What? No, what?”

I couldn’t believe I asked myself this, but what would Angie do? What would Jesse do? I knew both of them wouldn’t stand for what he had done, at how he had dismissed me. So I swallowed hard and looked up. This was going to be hard, maybe harder than I would ever realize.

“Alex.” His eyes were now flat and impatient.

“Screw it.”

“Excuse me?”

I had said that softly, but I said it louder this time. “Screw it.”

“Screw what?”

“You.”

“Me?” His eyes widened. “What did I do?”

“You hushed me.”

“I hushed you?”

“Yes, with the radio.” I turned to squarely face him and tucked my hand under my legs. My heart was still pounding, but my voice had gotten stronger. I could do this. I could express to him what I was feeling.

“What?” He frowned and scratched his head. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I asked you a question. You didn’t want to answer it so you turned the radio on after I asked you again. You did that so I wouldn’t ask you again. You hushed me.”

“Oh.”

He was still struggling to figure out what he had done. A pang of sympathy went through me. He had no idea he’d done it. That meant he had done it before, maybe with Brianna. I tried a different way. “You never talked to me about Brianna.”

“I was supposed to?” His eyebrows went high and alarm crossed his features.

“No, I meant maybe you did that to her or she did that to you or something?” The confusion on his face doubled and I sighed. Maybe I wasn’t saying it right, but then I started to wonder what I was even saying in the first place. “Never mind. I’m hungry.”

“Great.” He was visibly relieved as we got out and headed into the taco place.

It was a small, but quaint restaurant. Large Mexican hats and sombreros were on the wall, along with newspaper clippings of bull riding events. Fake cactuses were set in the corners of the room, along with stuffed snakes and one armadillo.

As we slid into a window booth in the front, raised laughter from the back caught my attention. The sound of a toilet flushing filled the room and as I glanced at the table, my heart stopped.

A rail thin girl stared back at me. Her eyeliner was smudged and the lipstick had been rubbed from her lips. She sat up straight and flipped her dirty blonde hair over her shoulder as she narrowed her eyes to see me better. Then the bathroom door swung open and closed. Jeremy Benson walked through as he scratched his chest idly with a big yawn on his face. He wore the same military style buzz cut and he looked tired. But as he saw Barbie’s scrutiny, he looked also and I gulped. Surprise and delight flared in his depths, replaced with something darker.

“What’s wrong?”

Eric was frowning at me with a menu in hand. The waitress was beside him, both looked concerned.

“Nothing.”

“Oh. Do you know what you want to drink?”

“Oh. I don’t care. Diet soda.”

Eric’s frown deepened, but I couldn’t help it. I was speaking fast and I wanted to be gone from there. The old knots formed in my gut again and I had an intense desire to call Jesse, but then a hand was slapped down in the middle of our table. ns class="adsbygoogle" style="display:block" data-ad-client="ca-pub-7451196230453695" data-ad-slot="9930101810" data-ad-format="auto" data-full-width-responsive="true">