Breakable (Contours of the Heart 2)

‘I’ll just ask Cindy.’

‘Which is why I didn’t tell her, either.’

She stamped her foot at that, which made me laugh until she pressed me into the corner of my sofa and said, ‘I love it when you laugh. You’re so pretty.’ She wound her arms round my neck and clutched at my hair, pulling me closer for a kiss.

I shook my head and traced her lips with my tongue before diving inside. Settling in to kiss her senseless, I whispered, ‘Flattery will get you nowhere … but please, please keep trying.’

My graduation party was a cookout in the Hellers’ backyard. After not leaving home for over eight years, Dad took three days off to attend the ceremony. His appearance was also a show of faith in his best friends. Watching the three of them together, I hoped this weekend was the beginning of a new habit for him.

I hadn’t told anyone my future plans yet, though Charles, Cindy and Dad knew about the offers I’d had, and they’d exchanged knowing looks at breakfast this morning, when I told them I’d made my choice. I had one person to tell, though, before I let them in on my final decision, and that person was standing in my kitchen, packing barbecue leftovers into the fridge.

‘I accepted a job on Friday,’ I said, and she barely responded. I wondered what was going through her mind until she finally looked up, unable to rearrange the little containers any further. My brave girl was barely holding back tears.

I led her to the sofa and pulled her into my arms. ‘It’s a start-up – less than ten employees right now. The founders are cardiology researchers developing non-invasive ways of mapping electrocardiographic activity, to help with diagnosis and treatment of heart disorders. They also want to develop better invasive devices – and they wanted someone with a basic knowledge of durable soft materials.’

The crease between her brows told me I’d lost her. So I told her the pay, which would be supplemented with stock options. ‘If the company does well – and it will – the employees do well. My start date is the week after July fourth.’

She looked up at me, trying to smile and not fooling me for a second. I knew what she was thinking – twelve hundred miles apart.

I took a breath. ‘So my only question is this – do I want to live in Oberlin and commute to Cleveland, or live near Cleveland and commute to you?’ I watched her shifting expressions as she realized what I’d just said. Her eyes widened and filled with tears. Her mouth dropped open and she stuttered something that sounded like What? ‘Oh – didn’t I tell you that part? The company’s located in Cleveland.’ Half an hour from Oberlin.

We would have six weeks’ separation between when I moved to Ohio and when she did, but I shoved that thought away as she came into my arms. Today was my celebration, and I carried her to my room to show her all the ways I intended to celebrate.

Six weeks apart had been hell.

Once my flight landed, I was ready to punch out a window to get off the plane, through the airport and outside to Jacqueline’s truck.

After lunch with her parents, the two of us were leaving on a two-day road trip back to Ohio. We planned to stop for the night just inside Kentucky, drive most of the day tomorrow, and meet the moving van at her new dorm tomorrow evening.

As always, everything and everyone else disappeared when I saw her. She leaped from the truck and met me in front of it, wearing a white sundress with a gauzy little short-sleeved cardigan over it, unbuttoned. My bag hit the ground and I pulled her into my embrace. ‘Miss me?’ I asked, our lips an inch apart. One hand at the base of her spine, I pressed her close as the other hand slid up under her sweater to encounter bare skin.

Her little dress was backless. Holy shit, this was going to be a long day – pre-noon and I was already imagining closing and locking the door to our hotel room tonight.

‘Kiss me and find out how much.’ She went to her toes, her eyes mischief incarnate as my fingertips trailed up over her shoulder blades.

Walking her backwards to the passenger side and pressing her to the door of her truck, I wanted to unfasten those tiny hooks at her nape, and she knew it.

What she didn’t know: I had some torture of my own to impart.

Closing that final inch, I captured her mouth with mine. I traced her full lips with the tip of my tongue and just barely swept inside as we kissed.

‘Mmm …’ she moaned, her tongue darting out to tease my upper lip before sucking my tongue into her mouth. I deepened the kiss bit by bit as our tongues tangled, and suddenly she pulled away. Her feet went flat on the ground and her hands gripped my biceps under the sleeves of my T-shirt as she stared up at me, eyes wide.

‘Lucas.’

‘Hmm?’

She stared at my mouth. ‘Did you …? Is that …?’

‘Like it?’ I asked, and she visibly shivered head to toe. ‘I knew you missed the lip ring. I figured you needed something else to play with when we kiss.’

Nodding, she said, ‘Let me see.’

Obediently, I opened my mouth and she peered inside at the little ball that sat dead centre on my tongue. ‘Oh … Oh, God …’ She licked that sweet lower lip as her eyes shifted to mine. ‘Is it true, what they say about that?’

A corner of my mouth tipped up on one side and one brow rose. ‘I guess we’ll find out tonight, won’t we?’ I kissed her again, my tongue delving fully into her mouth. She moaned – an impatient, breathy entreaty. Breaking the kiss, my hand curled round her nape and I whispered into her ear. ‘So tell me, how long does that bad-boy phase thing last? Because I’m trying my best to prolong it.’

She sucked in a breath and tucked her face to my shoulder. ‘Oh, God. I can’t believe you know about that.’

I tipped her chin up. Her face was pink.

‘How am I doing, Jacqueline? Fulfilling your every bad-boy wish, or is there something I’ve overlooked? I may have a steady job and be madly, deeply in love with my girlfriend …’ I kissed her as she clung to me. ‘But I have a wicked imagination.’

There used to be a point in time separating before from after. On one side lay everything good and beautiful – a dream that couldn’t be touched in waking moments. Memories of my mother were trapped there, and I fought to forget them because they did nothing but hurt and condemn. The opposite side was struggle. Endurance. My after was raw reality, and there was nothing to do but survive it.

Then came Jacqueline. This love. This healing. This new reality where before and after were no longer divided by a solitary rift. Where every moment was a tangible memory and a promise of what was to come. Every moment was a before and an after. Every moment was a now to be lived – and I would savour every one, beginning this second, with the girl in my arms.