Blurred Lines

“Are you sure you’re okay? You haven’t been quite like yourself these past few weeks.” I looked up, and wanted to cringe when I saw Kennedy’s expression filled with concern and sympathy.

“I’m good,” I lied. “It’s just been a little hectic, and I really am tired.” That part wasn’t a lie. I was more tired than usual, and I’d been feeling more emotional too. I shrugged it off though, claiming it was hormones, and ‘that time of the month’.

Kennedy let out a breath, and watched me with her knowing green eyes. She knew what had me feeling out of sorts, but I was grateful when she didn’t say it.

“We’re going to dinner tonight, you want to come?” She asked, changing topics.

“Who’s going?”

She bit her lip, nibbling on it nervously. It was one of her tells, and I knew I wasn’t going to like her answer, despite knowing exactly what she was going to say.

“Me and Dane, obviously, and I think Chase, and Ash will be there too. Grady is also going...” her words trailed off, leaving the rest for me to finish. “And Reid, and Stella.”

She looked away from me, and I hated that she felt sorry for me when she had no reason to. Reid was my best friend, but things had changed drastically in the past few months that I wasn’t even sure he was that anymore. He felt more like a stranger these days.

But I suspect that had more to do with his girlfriend and her dislike for me, than him actively staying away from me.

“I think I’m going to chill at home tonight,” I said, standing up. “Maybe watch a movie, or read a book. I could do with an early night.”

I started removing some of my clothes from my closet, and packing them into my suitcase.

“You don’t have to avoid them every time we hang out,” said Kennedy. “I will vagina punch that bitch if she tries anything with you.”

I snickered. “You know I can handle that Hobbit just fine. I was actually just want to chill out before our trip.”

Going to dinner with Reid and his girlfriend, Stella – aka the Hobbit – was as appealing as getting a pap smear, and something I could avoid. Going to Mexico with them for a week however wasn’t as easy to escape. Kennedy had begged me relentlessly for the month of January and I said yes because I could deal with Reid for that amount of time. But then he became ‘Reid and Stella’, and it was too late for me to pull out. Hence, I couldn’t get out of it.

“What must I tell Reid? You know he’s going to ask about where you are.”

Kennedy was right. We might have drifted apart, but Reid still cared. Much to Stella’s disgruntlement.

“Tell him I’m not feeling well,” I said. It was kind of true, so at least I didn’t have to ask Kennedy to lie. “He’ll see me tomorrow so it shouldn’t be a big deal.”

With a heavy sigh, Kennedy wrapped her arms around me, and rested her head on my shoulder. “I wish I could fix whatever happened between the two of you. I miss the ‘Jade and Reid’ show.”

I felt the familiar ache in my chest, and ignored it the same way I’d been forced to when Reid had started to distance himself. It wasn’t all Stella’s fault though. It was mine too and part of my problem was coping with the guilt it made me feel.

“I don’t think it can be fixed,” – I tried, but only ended up making things worse – “but I’m getting over it. I’m happy if Reid is happy.”

I could tell Kennedy didn’t believe the ‘I’m getting over it’ part, and sadly I didn’t either. He’d been part of my life from the moment we were born, and I felt his absence. Every. Damn. Day. But he’d moved on, and I had to live with it.

“You know he’s not happy, Jade. He misses you. I have no idea what he sees in that girl. She’s nothing but a glorified dancing Hobbit.”

I laughed, picturing a hobbit in a tutu, and rested my head against Kennedy’s. “You only hate her because she’s bff’s with Amy.”

“And because she’s pretty much told Reid he’s to have nothing to do with you, and he actually listens to her.”

Yeah, I didn’t want to talk about them anymore.

I patted Kennedy’s arm, and made an effort to smile at her. “Go and enjoy your dinner, and if you and Dane come back here, make sure you keep the noise down.”

She blushed, and let out a giggle. “I’ll make sure we go to his place if we wanna...you know.”

“Good idea,” I laughed. “Maybe you and Stella can have a screaming competition.”

Kennedy scrunched her nose. “Ew. I don’t want to know what a hobbit sounds like having sex. But I think we’ll come home afterwards anyway, our flight is quiet early.”

I nodded, and placed my luggage on the floor at the foot of my bed. “I was just kidding. I’ll probably be passed out cold when you guys get back.”

Kennedy started walking backwards towards my door, and said, “Call me if you need me, okay?”

“I will.”

Kennedy left, and my smile slipped. I was feeling a little raw inside, thinking about Reid and how much I pined for him. There was only one way I could forget about it long enough expel the feelings burning in my chest.

I took my sketchpad from my desk, and started drawing.

I’D JUST MANAGED to fall asleep when I heard my bedroom door opening. It was just past midnight, and I wondered why Kennedy would be checking in on me at this time. Only it wasn’t Kennedy.

His scent gave him away.

He was wearing the Dolce & Gabanna Light Blue cologne that I’d bought him for Christmas last year. It was all he seemed to wear and I both loved and hated it.

The bed dipped under his bulky form, and I twisted to switch on my bedside lamp.

“Reid?”

His green eyes were watching me – green eyes that showed nothing, hid everything, and still managed to pierce me to the very depths of my soul.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. I sat up, holding my comforter to my chest like armor.

“Kennedy said you weren’t feeling well,” he replied, rubbing his hands over his rather tired looking face. A face I’d never been able to envision my future without. “I wanted to come and make sure you were okay.”

He was wearing dark jeans, with a thick jacket to ward of the winter temperatures, and his favorite black boots. With disheveled blond hair, and a slight scruff on his jaw, he looked every bit the sexy football player he was.

But I couldn’t say that.

His concern came of no surprise, his need to stop by, however, did. “I’m fine.” There was that pesky fucking word again.

Fine.

I was not fine.

I was anything but fun.

I yawned, and covered it with my mouth.

“Does Stella know you’re here?”

Reid sighed, and pulled his hands through his hair. He looked frustrated. Exasperated even. “Yeah. We had a fight about it.”

“Of course you did,” I said flatly. “But what I don’t understand is that if you knew coming to check on me would upset her, then why’d you come?”

Hurt flitted across his rugged features, and I looked away. I couldn’t deal with seeing him hurt, not while I was still nursing my own wounds.